Well, that really depends on the situation but as a general rule, no, you would not. And PQ hasn’t! The problem is that it’s her house and don’t you know it, one of her house guests seems to have smuggled the artificial sweetener out of the kitchen on repeated occasions, replacing it with real sugar. Just for PQ’s own good, you see. Those headaches! Get it??

As her other guest, you may even have noticed, but you wouldn’t know for sure since you don’t have access to the pantry. The other guest seems to though, which is strange because PQ has always enjoyed being the hostess of her own house and will only give you a peek. Which is why PQ has finally had enough and decided to set up some new house rules.

Oh sure, she knows that most people don’t really need many rules, maybe just a gentle reminder if they get carried away… happens to everyone, even PQ herself. And she doesn’t really mind the sugar, if her guest really wants it PQ is happy to oblige. But some people… I swear if you don’t want them to trample all over your herbacious border and declare the destruction a blessing (you really should have planted tulips. Much more feminine!), you better have some rules!

While she’s pondering about the right number of rules and the precise level of generality (she doesn’t want to be petty, but she doesn’t want to miss anything either!), she discovers that all kinds of potential friction will fit quite nicely under some very simple rules. Even those irritating grammar corrections, which she tries not to indulge in herself (well, every once in a while, just as long as it’s done in a loving manner). So the grammar and most of the pet peeves go under Rule Number One: “…party happening in my living room. If you would not say (or do) something to me or my guests in my living room, do not say it (or do it?) in the blo… sorry, kitchen. Polite disagreement is fine.” And so she is able to cover all things reasonable and important vis-à-vis houseguests in precisely the right place, under precisely the correct number of rules.

Ten! That’s kind of traditional, isn’t it?! Really not bad at all!

Besides, now her guests (friends?) will actually learn something about the Real PQ, and they could become friends if they wanted to. They really could!

PQ has one pet peeve, though. In fact she couldn’t resist giving it its own space, it’s her house and her life after all. And believe me, she knows it will earn her a few sneers, but the logic is right there and she has taken the trouble to explain it, so laugh if you have to, but if you won’t mind:

Do Not Sign the Guest Book Twice! (because PQ particular in that way)

——————-

I realize I have now broken against Rule Number Four, but I’ve been sick for nine days, don’t post that often and don’t have a blog or a website. Besides, I thought that this was important and I hope that PQ agrees, so I would like to just finish with a quote from the Internets:

When introducing new rules: “Expect huffy displays of “Who do you think you are!””

Ouida Gabriel (who signs my name in the comment section all the time – I find it polite)

I think this is a case of friends and “friends”. Friends share the good and the bad. “Friends” regard you as a part of the entertainment industry!

THAT was funny! But it’s not nearly long enough, and doesn’t contain a personal attack. Try harder next time.

Belinda Bentley