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You can shake your elbow, but can you kiss it?

I get a lot of press releases. Email is cheap, so public relations companies blast out hundreds of copies of the same generic, boring messages to hundreds of people at a time. I think my email address got put on a mailing list that has been passed around to lots of companies, so now I get about six or seven emails a day trying to get me to write about products I know you guys have no interest in. I’ve gotten to a point where I read half the subject line and then trash the messages without reading them.

However, I occasionally get a press release with a subject line so ridiculous that I cannot help reading it and then guffaw at my desk, wondering if the person who wrote it is aware of how silly their message sounds. Case in point, a recent email I got for a hand sanitizer that says:

[Hand sanitizer brand name] predicts that the ‘elbow shake’ will soon supplant the traditional hand shake as the greeting of choice both in and out of the workplace.

Elbow shake

OMG, can you seriously see yourself greeting people with an elbow shake? How long until an epidemic of funny bone injuries would ensue?

Also, I don’t see how this is a good campaign for a hand sanitizer. “Our sanitizer is so great that…you should never risk touching people ever again.” If the sanitizer is that good, I should have no fear of other people’s germs, right?

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9 Comments

Erin • December 17, 2009 at 10:52 am

How ridiculous!!! Thanks for sharing, I got a good laugh out of that!!

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Jenny • December 17, 2009 at 11:56 am

Ok, seriously? LOL!! Thanks for posting, I needed that!! L-O-L!

I don’t get those emails a lot, but I get some and this definitely is the most ridiculous.

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Suzanne • December 17, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Didn’t we all just learn to cough and sneeze into our elbow pit? How is this different from covering your mouth with your hand and then offering that hand to strangers?

Never underestimate peoples ability to be goofy.

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Tiffany S. • December 17, 2009 at 1:37 pm

I’m going with a booty shake. I predict it will sweep the nation.

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Deanna - The Unnatural Mother • December 17, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Really? That’s redunk, why are people so stupid?

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Debbie P • December 17, 2009 at 2:44 pm

That is too funny! I never even mastered the coughing/sneezing into my arm. For one thing, when you weigh 300 pounds your folded arm doesn’t reach up to your mouth to cover it!

Then to suggest shaking elbows kind of defeats the suggestion of sneezing into the elbow!

I love Tiffany’s suggestion of a booty shake!

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Shady • December 17, 2009 at 5:20 pm

I watch a morning show where the demonstrated alternate forms of greeting to use during this H1N1 pandemic.

They suggested nodding, like some eastern cultures or touching feet :) Can you imagine the site around boardroom tables if people started shaking feet instead of hands. There would be a pandemic of broken legs as the less coordinated people fell.

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Suzanne • December 18, 2009 at 12:22 pm

@Debbie P -

Do you shake your own booty, or theirs?

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Debor • December 19, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Too funny! I know the doctors in the photo you used. They have both treated me for various ailments! Please tell me you found the pic yourself, because I’m pretty sure they’d be very upset if their picture was used by some company to endorse a product!

They are both excellent doctors, btw. But personally, I think I’ll risk life and limb with a good old fashioned handshake. Unless the shaker or I have just sneezed into said hand…

Then all bets are off, and the elbow will start flappin’.

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog JenFul.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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