Whoever said you catch more flies with honey than vinegar never had a fruit fly infestation. I hate fruit flies. I hate how the little specks fly in front of my computer screen while I’m writing, distracting me from my train of thought. I hate how quickly they zoom away right as I’m about to squish them against the wall. I hate how I start clapping, like I’m happy and I know it, trying to murder the little demons. I hate fruit flies more than I hate Jennifer Westerfelt, the bully from 2nd grade who tried to steal my 25 cent plastic ring I’d gotten from the grocery store vending machines.

The tipping point came when I visited my brother in North Carolina. We sat down to dinner in their lovely new house, and who came to join us? The fruit flies! My first thought was that they’d traveled with us from Indiana, stowing away in the nectarines I’d packed for the trip. Then I realized North Carolina has fruit flies too, and these little pests [...]

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I couldn’t help but hum Let’s Go Fly a Kite as my brother was running around Kill Devil Hills trying to launch my mother’s rainbow flying machine, complete with streamers. This new theme song was somewhat welcome on our North Carolina vacation last week, because after we’d eaten sandwiches at a place called The Yellow Submarine I’d had that Beatles song stuck in my head. The wind wasn’t that strong, but we were able to make the kite fly for several minutes at a time. Then we hiked up the rest of the BFH (Big F**king Hill), which I thought they were going to have to rename “Kill PastaQueen Hills,” to see the Wright Brothers memorial.

That’s me, hanging out with Orville, while some kid tries to break into the monument in the background. Kill Devil Hills is right next to Kittyhawk where the Wright Brothers discovered motorized flight. Did you know they owned a bike shop? I wonder if they could adjust my brakes for me.

After we got back to Durham, we went to a [...]

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I had flashbacks to Ms. May’s world civ class as I walked through the touring King Tutankhamun exhibit at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum last week. I wasn’t overly fond of history class because it seemed like you were just learning a long list of facts. I preferred math class because once you learned a few techniques to solve problems, you just repeated them over and over to get the solutions. It seemed like less to learn, and figuring out the puzzle was fun. Ms. May’s class was different than the usual boring history calss because she told us stories about history, and stories are what we find captivating.

I was at the King Tut exhibit in Indianapolis because it was “blogger day” and I was offered a complimentary admission. Photography inside the exhibit is prohibited, so the only photos I can show you are the sign in the hallway (see above) and this shot of the door.

And this picture of an ancient Egyptian starfighter!

Oh, wait, that might be part of the Star Wars exhibit hanging in [...]

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Unlike my first running of the IrishFest 5K, I didn’t witness an unofficial “Escape The Cops 5K” on my way to the starting line. This year’s race also wasn’t at night like the one two years ago was, so they did not hand out any glow sticks :( But by God, there were bagpipes!

I sat on a folding chair waiting for the race to start, when a thirty-something man in a grey shirt and square-frame glasses came up and said, “Excuse me, but do you know what pace you plan on running?”

“I have no idea,” I told him honestly. I haven’t been tracking the distance I’ve been running while training, just the amount of time I spend running. “Maybe a 12-minute mile pace?” I said optimistically recalling my average pace a year and a half ago.

“Do you mind if I pace off of you? I haven’t run a 5K for almost two years and it would help a lot if I could pace myself with somebody.”

“Sure,” I told him.

“I just thought I’d ask you…because you [...]

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I visited a bookshop in Chapel Hill called The Bookshop, a feat of creative naming I have not seen since my 6-year-old self named my stuffed dog “Doggy.” The Bookshop did not feature dogs, but two cats instead.

Red was hanging out in Kiddie Lit trying to get a catnap when I paparazzied him. I strolled further down the seemingly endless, narrow hallway that comprises the Bookshop, wondering if I’d entered a TARDIS. At the very back, in North Carolina books, I found Elmo.

Elmo gave me a look that seemed to say, “Fine, take my picture and then beat it.” The kitties had beds and scratching posts in the bookshop window with a sign that asked patrons to please not knock on the glass. While we were there, someone entered with their dog who was not on a leash. They were promptly told to beat it before a cat vs. dog battle could ensue.

I wish the book stores in Indianapolis had cats. For now, I have to settle for the independent pharmacy on the north side [...]

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