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To eat or not to eat?

I would like to avoid the bakery section of the grocery store all together on my weekly shopping trips, but it lies directly between the produce section and the meat freezers. Thus I have to roll my cart briskly past the baguettes and cupcakes and cookies and donuts and buttercream cakes, thinking, “Go, go, go!” like a child running past a cemetery at night, afraid the ghost of jelly filled donuts will grab me and force slices of chocolate cake down my throat.

Last week though, something caught my eye, something so completely WRONG, all caps, font weight bold, kind of wrong, I just had to whip out my camera and photograph it like the pathological blogger that I am.

To eat or not to eat?

Would you eat this cookie cake? On the one hand, there are sweet, gooey chocolate chip morsels scattered within the cookie batter. There is creamy frosting coating the entire top. On the other hand, ew, ants. ANTS! For real, ants? Not just ants, but mutant monster ants the size of tarantulas. Who would want to eat an ant, other than an anteater? What’s next, a cake bursting out with marzipan maggots?

And because I know someone will mention it, there is a hilarious blog called Cake Wrecks that specializes in culinary failures like the one above. Check ‘em out!

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26 Comments

PolishPlankton • June 19, 2009 at 9:47 am

The temptation never goes away does it? If only all my old favorites were presented covered with ants.

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msmezzo • June 19, 2009 at 10:01 am

oh please, I went to a work party one time when someone thought it would be funny to bring a “litter box” cake. Complete in a new plastic kittie litter box with tootsie-roll doodies and a litter scoop for serving. Noone ate it, it was just too disgusting.

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DanaDanger • June 19, 2009 at 10:14 am

What’s the theme supposed to be here? All I can figure is that they were going for some kind of summer picnic thing. Which still doesn’t make sense.

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Kari • June 19, 2009 at 10:15 am

It’s supposed to look like watermelon…although why you’d want to eat watermelon that’s had ants crawling all over it is beyond me. :P And the notion of cookie cake frosted to impersonate watermelon is kind of funny too.

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Jess • June 19, 2009 at 10:25 am

Well that makes it easy to not want to eat it – seriously who puts bugs on a cake? EW!

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Jen, a priorfatgirl • June 19, 2009 at 10:58 am

AAACCCKKKK…..I think this is like a subliminal message, like “ooohhh, look, its a cake but really, think about watermelons which are low cal and made mostly of water anyways so eat up!”

Sad…kind of like making cough medicine taste good for little kids. Easier to go down but then they like the taste and are more incline to drink some when mom & dad aren’t looking! Ok, I feel a rant coming on so I better stop! Have a great weekend!

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Lisa • June 19, 2009 at 12:23 pm

I’m going to be the devil’s advocate and take the other side. I think it’s kind of funny, and I wouldn’t have a problem eating it. However, I’d be disappointed if the ants are plastic. If you’re going to decorate a cake with faux “ants,” they should be edible, maybe made out of marzipan or molding chocolate. Thus leading to the inevitable kid argument, “I want an ant! No, I called it!” :-)

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Ginny • June 19, 2009 at 12:24 pm

I think it’s cute. It’s not like the ants are real or anything. I really don’t need to partake of a cookie that big though…

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Amy • June 19, 2009 at 12:30 pm

@msmezzo – The best part of this response is the use of the word “doodies.” LOL

I’d eat an ant cookie (though I don’t like actual watermelon much so it’s confusing me anyway) but the litterbox cake sounds harder to swallow.

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Quix • June 19, 2009 at 12:42 pm

I was totally thinking I would behead one of those ants in a heartbeat, but that’s my stupid voracious runner’s appetite lately talking.

I think I’d be disappointed when it didn’t taste like watermelon. Watermelon flavor > storebought cookie flavor. Yes, I said it.

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1waystatime • June 19, 2009 at 1:40 pm

I think my boys would love it.

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Rebecca Hoover • June 19, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Nasty, that’s all can say. I personally wish everything in the bakery turned me off like that.

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Lainey • June 19, 2009 at 3:10 pm

That link to Cake Wrecks doesn’t work.

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PastaQueen • June 19, 2009 at 3:18 pm

@Lainey – It works for me. What browser and operating system are you using?

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KLCthe BookWorm • June 19, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Your first paragraph reminded me of the scene in Young Sherlock Holmes when they are hallucinating and Watson is attacked by the pastry shop. :D

And i think I would buy that cookie cake for a gag to take on potluck picnic.

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judy • June 19, 2009 at 4:00 pm

I’m with Lisa funny, funny. Also, I have had Litter Box cake and it is very good. It would be too cool if the ants were chocolate or marzipan. So I’m going to continue the gross-out have any of you seen the bedpan cake. And yes, my family has a weird sense of humor. If it is edible we will try it at least once! Judy

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Shawn • June 19, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Honestly? Not only would I eat this, I think it’s kind of genius. And well decorated.

Very appealing.

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Jen B • June 19, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Cookie cakes are just wrong.

Cookies? Yum!

Cake? Yummy Yum!

Cookie Cake? FAIL.

Some things are better off left alone.

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Bethama • June 19, 2009 at 6:00 pm

It’s a cookie. It’s chocolate. It looks like a watermelon. What’s not to love? I mean, when I was a kid, I ate worms in dirt. This is pretty benign by comparison…

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Kira • June 19, 2009 at 7:17 pm

You should totally forward this to Cake Wrecks!

(http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/)

She would have a field day with it… And if she linked back to you, you’d get a huge spike in traffic. :B

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Robin • June 19, 2009 at 7:24 pm

That watermelon cake is hilarious! I’m not sure if I could eat the ants – even though you know they’re not real.

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PastaQueen • June 19, 2009 at 7:28 pm

@Kira – Done. We’ll see if it gets posted!

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Callie • June 20, 2009 at 12:29 pm

pastaqueen, I totally agree with you about this disgusting waste of sugar, flour, eggs, and, most importantly of all, chocolate. We should ostracize the sick person who created it.

Please don’t show such a monstrosity on your lovely blog again.

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Lydia • June 20, 2009 at 9:53 pm

No, that cake or cookie or whatever it was would definitely not tempt me — the food coloring they use with these intensely colored things make the icing taste very chemical-ish. And the cookie or whatever it was is probably really hard and stale-tasting. Nope, not tempted at all.

The ants are probably plastic, aren’t they? And if the cake underneath were great, I wouldn’t mind at all just pulling them off and tossing them.

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lin • June 20, 2009 at 10:22 pm

I have had these giant frosted cookies and they are good. But I love frosting. I lost weight (not a lot, I was 150 and went down to 125) several years ago and one of the things I changed was I stopped buying cakes, cookies. When I want them I bake them. I bake frequently but I think I am eating less because it tastes better so I am not eating that third slice of cake or fourth cookie trying to find satisfaction.

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Felicity • September 2, 2009 at 5:36 pm

It’s a clever design. The ants, however… are not so appealing….

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog JenFul.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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