Comments on: In defense of quiet people

By: Kelly

Kelly — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 23:20:02 +0000

Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.

Aaaand thank you.

I’ve posted about this before. I hate having to defend myself to people. I like being quiet. Occasionally I can be boisterous and even outgoing, but it’s not my “natural” self. People assume I’m not happy, when actually I’m RIDICULOUSLY happy, as long as I’m allowed to just….be. The biggest hurdle for me is most of my friends are extremely extroverted. And I love them for it, but they exhaust me. I have very few quiet friends. I need more of them.

By: Pat

Pat — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 23:31:25 +0000

@Emily Roberts –
Hi Emily,
I too am extremely introverted. It’s nice to know others still exist like me in this crazy world of non stop talkers. I feel like everyone is against me because they think I’m trying to avoid being social like everyone else or maybe I think I’m something special. But the thing is…they don’t know how much it bothers me feeling like I don’t fit in and feel left out. I feel like I’m against everyone because of them talking and socializing and I’m on the other side opposed to society. YET…they probably think I’m something special in my head. It’s painful.
You can write me if you like..my email is manatee36@yahoo.com
Pat

By: Pat

Pat — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 23:27:12 +0000

@Anna –
I too am extremely quiet. It’s very very hard to deal with society. I understand completely about how everyone talks like it’s absolutely a necessity. I don’t get it. Why? People also like to talk as much as possible because it’s a skill and they use it to dominate or just take advantage of others or to manipulate.
I have alot of depression because I feel I don’t fit in. Don’t know if my email shows up here, but you can write me if you like at manatee36@yahoo.com anytime!
Pat

By: Penny

Penny — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 07:45:23 +0000

Well, I am late to the discussion but I did bring my thoughts, :) First, wow. Thank you for this post. I think this needs to be posted and seen by numerous individuals that I know of. Second, I have two responses to laura and jo:

@ laura, it isn’t so much about the whole “giving” aspect. I feel that a lot of individuals who are “quiet” are told by different people in his or her life that something is wrong with you and the pressure to change in order to fit in with everyone else is the real crux of the problem. A person should be respected for his or her traits and personality instead of judged for his or her perceived lack of contribution to a particular conversation. I believe that real social skills involve awareness of other individuals’ temperament and not on trying to “fix” them as if they are a project.

@jo I don’t find it unusual at all that a quiet person would start a blog, so unless I am misreading your comment, I don’t understand it. While communication is vital to life, silence and reflection are also necessary. Communication has a wide range of variation so why can’t individuals communicate in different ways whether it be through talking or through silence?

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 04:40:44 +0000

P.S. I like what Derek wrote ” Some of them need people to validate their self worth. Alot of quiet people dont.” This will posted at my workplace.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 04:36:14 +0000

My boss ask me one day, do I think that most quiet people have low self-esteems. At the same time she made a comment about her and her family being loud mouths. As if she were proud of that fact. Anyway, it’s clear she thinks I have a self-esteem issue, because now she is acting like a bully towards me. Thank goodness I don’t have to see her everyday. I don’t know what to do to solve the problem shot of quitting my job, which I do like. I have always being quite outgoing and really talkative as a child, as a matter a fact I got into trouble constantly for talking. My third grade teacher could not sit me next to anyone, because I’d find something to talk about. He made the comment it wasn’t worth moving me anymore. Maybe I grew up and realized that was not the way to act, or maybe I just don’t want to talk as much. Either way, I don’t feel that being quiet reflects ones self worth. I don’t really like people who have verbal diarrhea. They usually repeat themselves, end up saying something that has already been said or they say something that is extremely stupid. II think this type of person is generally the one with lower self-esteems because they have the compelling need to be heard and or to hear themselves think.

By: Kiwi

Kiwi — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:56:13 +0000

WOW, that’s totally me!
I found this blog after having a fight with my mom…. she’s the queen of small talks with strangers, and she thinks that there is something wrong with me being silent.
It pisses me off that I always have to defend myself (with her and other people too), I am NOT a freak, I just don’t have things to say all the time!

By: jo

jo — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 07:29:05 +0000

I find it unusual that such a “quiet” person would even start a blog. Clearly you have things to say? So is it just the act of speaking aloud that you dislike? Or you are just that enamored with silence? You are often thinking things you know better than to say aloud? Does that imply that you are constantly thinking inappropriate or rude things? Being judgmental? What does that really say about your personality? All conversations are meaningful, even small talk. Communication is the most important thing we have. Its how we send and receive information, impart knowledge, express emotions, build relationships…you know….all those things life is all about?

By: KristiLis

KristiLis — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 06:48:14 +0000

Um… now that I’ve read this, I am totally going to be following your blog. This has struck a chord with me.

Also, you call yourself the “PastaQueen”? That is enough in and of itself…

By: S

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 12:47:38 +0000

I used to be very shy as a child. I still am slightly, but since I started work I have gradually started to overcome this. I am not suddenly going to change the way I am because it bothers other people.