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I stared at the candy display rack for a moment before I grabbed two Cadbury creme eggs and a chocolate covered marshmallow heart. Then I started walking towards the ice cream aisle. In my way was a blonde man in a black leather jacket who was walking slowly towards me while holding a grocery basket . He kind of looks like my brother, I thought. Oh, crap. He is my brother!

I palmed the chocolate in my right hand and waved at him with my left. Ha! So funny to see you here I said, and Yeah, just finished my workout he said, and Like the new hair color I said, and Like your new haircut he said, and we continued to chit chat. In his basket were no-sugar-added fudge pops and lean ground beef and other disgustingly healthy items.

“So, what are you getting here?” He asked. I wasn’t sure if he knew the answer already, but I looked at the tile floor embarrassed.

“Uh, I was buying…chocolate,” I said as I showed him the creamy partially melted eggs in my hand.

“Jenneeeeette,” he strung out my name in that tough love tone.

“I know,” I said. “I am totally busted.”

“You can eat what you want to, but yeah, you are totally busted.” I put back the creme eggs, but held onto the marshmallow heart. We checked out together.

I never got to the ice cream aisle.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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Jen • January 27, 2009 at 9:53 am


Shop somewhere else in future ;-)


PastaQueen • January 27, 2009 at 10:00 am

@Jen – Sadly, that was my first thought. “Why didnt’ I go to Marsh!”

My second thought was, “I’m going to have to start checking the parking lot for his car in the future.”


Jen • January 27, 2009 at 10:04 am

@PastaQueen – Heh. I hope the marshmallow heart helped. :-)


maggieapril • January 27, 2009 at 10:23 am

I grocery shop once a week with my Mom. (We both lost over 70 pounds last year.) I “joke” that it keeps me honest. But some days it really is the only thing that keeps me from putting cookies in my cart. Go Bro!!


David Crowell • January 27, 2009 at 10:46 am

That’s what brothers are for. Well, that and beating up. :)


EG • January 27, 2009 at 11:03 am

That’s a good brother.

You know, I think I’m not unlike you. When I make a good decision (even if that decision were because someone else inadvertenty busted me) I don’t feel like I’m in control and I made a good decision. I feel like a dodged a bullet. I don’t feel in-control. After Baby comes, need to get in-control.


Nina • January 27, 2009 at 11:12 am

Oh man, I wish I had one of those little angels on my shoulder to tell me not to do things. I think that’s what your brother signified for a day. ;)


Tara • January 27, 2009 at 11:19 am

Jeez that’s annoying! Sure, it probably helped you not buy ice cream, but that would make me resent my brother if he got in between me and what I wanted.


Squishy! • January 27, 2009 at 11:25 am

Hurts so good, eh? lol My husband checks me, when I start eating junk. Thankfully, he’s nice about it, just like it seems that your brother is. I think we’re blessed. *grins* I’d rather DH smile at me and remind me that I don’t want the ice cream than to put the weight back on.


Diana • January 27, 2009 at 11:31 am

I say good thing for the brother! Looks like he got there right on time. But, at the same time, you are allowed to have a treat once in a while as long as you don’t over do it.

I would love to have someone that popped in like that to keep me accountable!


Rochelle • January 27, 2009 at 11:47 am

Go bro!

And what the heck, there is an “M&Ms premium” ad on the right hand side here. Chocolate everywhere!!


Cathy • January 27, 2009 at 11:51 am

I feel for you! Last Friday when grocery shopping those darn little Cadbury eggs were calling out to me, beckoning me with their creamy goodness. They smiled, I smiled, I began to push my buggy toward them and greet them warmly by throwing a couple of their little butts into my buggy…then I remembered I was leaving later that day to go out of town and I wanted to be able to cheat a little while there. Decided it wasn’t worth it today,,,but mark my words, this holiday season I will cave at least once! lol


Mara @ What's For Dinner? • January 27, 2009 at 11:54 am

UGH I hate running into people I know at the grocery store… I feel like they’re always checking out what I have in my cart. Then again, I check out their carts too!


Elizabeth • January 27, 2009 at 12:04 pm

I loved this entry… too funny! :-) Thanks for helping with my bad mood this morning!


nolafwug • January 27, 2009 at 12:23 pm

I’ve become such a chocolate snob that the Valentine’s and Easter candy displays do nothing to me lately. I’ve been hunting for another Lindt Dark Chocolate Hot Mango bar. I’m afraid it may have been discontinued.

Two days ago I discovered Russell Stover Toasted South Seas Coconut 70% cacao dark chocolate squares – shoot, that’s practically health food and it even comes portion-controlled.

I also discovered that Jelly Belly now makes pomegranate-flavored jelly beans. It says on the package they have antioxidants and vitamin C! I was laughing so hard but I put them into my basket with the chocolate. A girl’s gotta have some treats. :)


Tina • January 27, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Doh! I would be a horrible weight loss friend because the whole time, I was saying “go for the eggs! go for the eggs!”

Oh well. The marshmallow treats were probably lower in calories/fat anyway.


Cindy • January 27, 2009 at 12:35 pm

Oh, the siren song of Cadbury Cream Eggs, I know it well. Good your brother was there to keep you in check, but also good that you didn’t give up all your loot. We are entitled to a little chocolate sometimes. Sometimes it’s even required.


AndrewE • January 27, 2009 at 12:36 pm

I must admit that I like how you put the cream eggs back but kept one of the snacks. :)


Mary • January 27, 2009 at 12:47 pm

All I can say is *thank god* Cadbury quit making the chocolate filled eggs. (And if they didn’t, I. Don’t .Want. To. Know!!)


bob • January 27, 2009 at 1:39 pm

I’m being haunted by a photo on Huffington Post. It’s an article about some chocolate confection someone’s made and they were either explicitly meant to be a caricature of Obama or interpreted that way. I don’t care which- i look at the photo of them and it looks like one of those yummy caramel, nut, chocolate Turtles- the large size version- and I guess I’m saying- to stamp out racism, I’m willing to do my part and eat every single one of those things!

You think/wonder/hope you’re less vulnerable to such things, but then the recurring photos start the Pavlovian response!


victoria • January 27, 2009 at 1:46 pm

It’s none of his dang beeswax what you eat. It’s up to you to decide what foods do and don’t work for you. How can he make that decision for you? He’s not in your body, and not in your (headache-filled) head, and can’t understand your needs.

There’s nothing wrong with eating chocolate and ice cream if it doesn’t feel like self-injury, doesn’t leave you filled with self-loathing and remorse, and, on the whole, feels more like a good thing than a bad thing. Only you can figure that out.


p. potter • January 27, 2009 at 2:04 pm

I hate the food-judgment that we fear. If you want to eat it, eat it–and unless you’ve specifically asked someone to help keep you on track, it really is none of their business.

Having said that, it’s your brother. Siblings can get away with that kind of crap, can’t they?


Lisa • January 27, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Did you feel a little relieved that you didn’t make it to the ice cream isle? Right away, the first thing I would have thought was I wasn’t supposed to have these things or I wouldn’t have gotten busted.

Of course another stop at a different store on the way home could have been my other way out if I wanted it bad enough. I’m sick that way.


kristy3m • January 27, 2009 at 2:45 pm

I hate the food judgment too. People actually fear food now…

I’m kind of torn, though. i know that guilty helpless feeling can either predict a binge…or just a craving that can be quickly satisfied.

Sometimes it’s just good to have someone have your back and ask you the Question.. “Do you really want/need that?”

Cause if it’s just a quick craving…i can work off my mistakes!


cloudy • January 27, 2009 at 3:00 pm

Cadbury Egg Season BE DAMNED!


Rachael • January 27, 2009 at 3:13 pm

@Mary – for me it was the caramel ones! I haven’t seen them in a couple years.


Liska • January 27, 2009 at 3:18 pm

I bought a cadbury’s creme egg on Friday (on the way to yoga) and ate it! Realised my mistake when I got a spot a couple of hours later, which now even today, feels like a boil on the side of my chin.

I have heard of a second on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, but now we have “days on the chin” hee hee

Actually, that’s so funny, I think I will post it.

Although the spot is not at all funny.


Angel • January 27, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Cadbury is the ultimate anti-diet company. My downfall is the mini-eggs. Sadly (or happily depending on the moment) I can’t get away with eating them/buying them without a lecture from my pint-sized diet enforcer (4 year old daughter). “Mom! Whatcha want to eat that for? IT’S BAAAADD for you!” Gee thanks, kid. And the 24 hours of back labor didn’t warrant this continually chocolately reward? Not if I want to eat it in peace, I guess.


KCRanch • January 27, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Such as sweet brother – sounds like what my brother would say.


Jen, a priorfatgirl • January 27, 2009 at 3:50 pm

well, not sure if this is the way you feel but I would be thinking “THANK GOD FOR ACCOUNTABILITY!!” There are so many times when I was on the brink of falling over the edge and in fact ready to jump off myself and someone would come by and grab me and throw me back into reality. I agree though with a lot of other people, you should be able to eat what you want to eat. If you want to eat that stuff, great…but don’t be embarressed by it. Eat it and enjoy it!


Lyn • January 27, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Too funny. I used to always hide/sneak my McD’s bag or my Starbucks when I was going from my car to my house because someone might see me and think bad things about me. WTF. I am less concerned with their thoughts now and more concerned about my health.


Ron • January 27, 2009 at 5:32 pm

If your gonna get busted, its probably a good thin that it was your brother. This way you still had a little bit of chocolate and didn’t over indulge.


Theresa • January 27, 2009 at 10:17 pm

One of my biggest fears is getting caught in a binge. If I buy a treat and I am not in a binge mode I don’t feel guilty, however, you were on the way to the ice cream isle.

One of my worst moments was coming out of a store with a bunch of candy and running into my boyfriend going out. Luckily he didn’t see me and I stuffed the candy in my purse but I was so embarrassed he asked me what was wrong, I told him I had just bought candy, he looked at me so strangely; he does not have food issues and does not understand mine, we are now married and he understands a little bit. I remember the feeling of shame, how brave of you to share.


Theantijared • January 27, 2009 at 11:27 pm

I know a guy on the streets who sells chocolate.Cadbury eggs also! Good stuff, real cheap!Your secret will be safe.


Lydia • January 27, 2009 at 11:31 pm

I remember running into a couple of ladies in the grocery store who were really making no secret out of eyeing my basket or my purchases. I didn’t really care; I was just amused. A tiny bit irritated. Because they were doing it out of noseyness.

You just remember your brother loves you. He was motivated by love, not noseyness really. He was trying to do a good thing.

Do it back to him sometime, if you ever catch him! :)

Out of love, of course.


Lydia • January 27, 2009 at 11:37 pm

. . . and I kind of feel sorry for whoever comes along and purchases those half-melted cream eggs! LOL.

Not really.


Griffin • January 28, 2009 at 1:02 am

Oh, that’s too funny. But, seriously, major props to you for putting back the eggs. When this time of year rolls around, I can. NOT. avoid. Cadbury eggs. The commercials with the cute bunnies just make it worse. Sigh.


Jane • January 28, 2009 at 5:23 am

presumably he is trying to help as he knows how hard you have worked. I think that you made the right decision in getting one piece of candy and no ice-cream; not complete deprivation but limited damage.

I am trying to make sure at the moment that I get one reasonable treat a day- maximum- if I want one. The hard part is stopping there…


Kelly • January 28, 2009 at 7:37 am

Wow easter candy isn’t even out here….only valentines day :) I love the mini cadbury eggs.


Meg • January 28, 2009 at 9:06 am

Heh, totally a “busted” moment ^_^ Hope you got him to share some of those fudge pops!



Elle • January 28, 2009 at 11:35 am

This time of year is second worst for dieters (and maintainers)! Valentine’s Day, Easter…all that delicious Cadbury goodness. No wonder so many New Year’s Resolutions are broken within the first 3 months of the year. I struggle with it almost as much as the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday season.


Helen • January 28, 2009 at 3:43 pm

I just love your brother for telling you that you can eat whatever you want. It’s just so darn sweet and supportive in it’s own strange way.


quix • January 28, 2009 at 9:32 pm

I haven’t had a cadbury egg in years. I’m pretty sure I have them on such a high pedestal by now that I’ll be disappointed in them…hmmm…

And, good story. I often wonder what people think of what’s in my cart at the store. Don’t really care, just wonder…


deanna • January 29, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Fantastically funny!! Love it, but hate when it happens to me!!


Calidaho • January 30, 2009 at 12:45 am

Hey, if you got the right kind of marshmallow egg, they only have about 120 calories, righ? That’s a banana. Sure, there isn’t a lot nutrition wise but when those things are available, they are good for the soul. Marshmallows are full of air!

Just buy one, though. I made the mistake of buying a 4-pack of marshmallow eggs last Easter thinking I would just eat one every day or so…nope, wiped them out in a day. I am such an addict!


lulu • February 1, 2009 at 4:19 am

I remember a kind neighbour giving me a Cadbury’s Creme Egg when I was a little girl. After one bite I gave it to my mother, because it was too sweet for me. What I want to know is how I came to lose that inbuilt resistance to fondant-filled chocolate.

My great weakness at the moment is the Lindt chocolate bunny with a real bell on a ribbon around its neck. I pretend to myself that I am buying them as presents for friends. That excuse is infinitely adaptable.


Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

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