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Defensive blogging – I’m not clairvoyant but I try to be

I cannot read your mind, but I try to. When I write blog entries I try to anticipate how my readers will react. I try to avoid writing words that will unintentionally piss people off. I try to counter-argue objections in advance. I try to avoid analogies that might swerve the conversation off topic. I think about the unexpected ways people reacted to entries in the past so I can avoid mistakes in the future.

I call it defensive blogging.

Still, I’m a long way from putting a sign on this blog saying, “Readings from PastaQueen, certified psychic.” Sometimes I post entries about vulnerable issues and I’m scared to check my email because I don’t know whether I’ll get a “Hell, yeah!” or a “Yeah, you’re going to hell.” Sometimes I read an old post and wonder why the hell I didn’t anticipate the ways people reacted. Here are some of the ways I try to blog defensively, and some of the reasons I’ve failed to block a punch.

Missing landmines because I focus on the whole field

Yesterday, I talked about setting three big goals a year, but I kept my third goal private because it’s personal. My brain must be flying on only one of two engines, because it didn’t occur to me that keeping my third goal a secret would drive people crazy. It was like saying, “Don’t look in this box.” Now everyone wants to know what’s in the freakin’ box. I wasn’t trying to be a tease; I just have to keep certain areas of my life private. I will say, it has nothing to do with finding a PastaKing. And even if it did, that would fall under the greater umbrella of goal #2, “Meeting new people.”

I was so focused on expressing my greater idea in the entry as a whole that I didn’t stop to think, “Hey, what if people want to know what goal #3 is?” Lately, I’ve been worried about my spelling because last week I got 3 e-mails pointing out 3 different typos. I don’t have an editor, people! Spellchecker doesn’t catch everything! That’s the problem with defensive blogging, you never know what you’ll have to defend yourself against. You can build a great moat only to be attacked by flying monkeys.

Anticipating objections

In my state fair entry, I joked that the carnies might deep-fry rats after hours. Originally I wrote that they might deep-fry cats after hours, but changed it because I didn’t want to get a comment from a crazy cat lady saying, “I can’t believe you would joke about deep-frying felines! I’m going to call the humane society on you!” I myself am a cat person, and I get queasy when my cat even pokes his head into the open microwave door. So, I changed “cat” to “rat” since I figured the rat-loving contingent of my audience was far smaller than the kitty lovers. Attack successfully avoided – unless the rat king is reading this.

Overlooking emotionally sensitive issues

When I was going on TV in May, I said that I hoped I wouldn’t get bumped for a terrorist attack that day, mentioning the Brooklyn Bridge specifically. Some people thought I was joking, but I was being serious. You never know what could happen. Some of my readers in New York found this emotionally jarring because they’d lived through the 9/11 attacks. I live in Indiana and I don’t personally know anyone who was harmed in those attacks, so that statement didn’t have as much of an emotional effect on me as it did on those who were there. I didn’t anticipate how much that flippant comment would upset some people. Otherwise, I would have made an analogy that was farther out there, like “I hope I don’t get bumped by Martians invading Manhattan.” No one has emotional sensitivity to Martians, right? Anyone? Do I have any Martian readers that I just pissed off? Marvin?

Using an example or analogy that steers things off course

In another entry, I was talking about the need to avoid unnecessary negative feedback from your environment. But instead of talking about that, the conversation got steered off course because I’d mentioned a specific incident with a specific commenter. Then, everyone went into my archives and tried to find the comment that I was talking about. Then no one was talking about surrounding yourself with positive influences, they were talking about who said what a week ago. Aaaagh! Now I try not to use analogies or examples that might distract from my main point. Except, of course, I just did because you are probably going to dig through my archives looking for that entry. (And no, I won’t link to the damn conversation. Find it yourself if you care so much.) I also forgot that the commenter was probably still reading my blog, so she got pissed off too, which was ok with me but something I’d failed to anticipate.

Just being wrong

I know you all will be devastated to hear this, but I’m not perfect. Sometimes I say something that is incorrect. For instance, I wrote about eating a passion fruit several weeks after I’d eaten the fruit, saying “I bit into it.” Then people started commenting telling me I should never bite into a passion fruit because its skin is hard. That’s when I remembered I had tried biting into it, and then realized I needed to cut it open. Only, I didn’t take any notes after eating the stupid thing, so I forgot to mention that. Instead of focusing on the entry, people started asking me what kind of dope I was for not being able to eat correctly.

Misunderstandings

Other times, I have simply been unclear in my writing and people have misunderstood what I was trying to say. These incidents are annoying because people think I’ve said something I wasn’t trying to say. It usually happens when I’ve thrown together a blog entry in 15 minutes before running off to work.

Still, I try

I’m sure I will post entries in the future that will not get the reactions I think they will. But I try to keep the bizarre and unexpected fallout to a minimum. I also try not to let defensive blogging lead to self-censorship. I doubt I can please everyone, nor do I think I should. Some people are assholes, and if they like me it reflects poorly on my character. I’m not against saying something controversial or stating my opinions if I believe in what I’m saying, but I don’t like to stir up shit for no reason.

I don’t like it when reactions to my entries head in weird or unnecessary directions, but I know I can’t control the conversations either. I also have to accept that I cannot place myself in the perspective of every single person who might ever stumble across my blog. I can’t anticipate how every person will react, and if I could there would be no point in having comments anyway. Comments let me hear other people’s perspectives, widening my worldview. Still, I try to blog smarter and better. Defensive blogging is part of that.

Now, give me a second to put on my helmet and insert my mouth guard and the commenting can begin.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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65 Comments

chidame • August 22, 2008 at 8:11 am

The best defense is a good offense?

I have no idea where I’m going with that – it just had to be said.

I closed a personal blog because I couldn’t balance being honest enough for the blog typing to be worthwhile to me against my readers expectations/interpretations – well, not the readers, but the readers who knew me in real life. No matter how I tried shaping what I wrote, I either felt dishonest or one-dimensional, and it just didn’t seem to be doing anything for my mental health.

I don’t know if you’ve ever blogged about that, but in case you haven’t maybe for another post – how do your friends/family react/interact with what you blog?

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champagnelin • August 22, 2008 at 8:36 am

Wow.

Ironically “defensive blogging” sort of defeats the purpose of blogging at all, doesn’t it? I get why you would do it – you have a great following.

However, I say – write from your heart and to hell with the whiners, moaners, nitpickers, and cry babies. It’s your blog for heaven’s sake.

I teach writing, and I try to teach my students to be somewhat sensitive to their audience…until it interferes with the message or personal style to the degree that the writing doesn’t seem genuine. If that makes sense.

You just keep on doing what you do. You rock and inspire!

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adrienne • August 22, 2008 at 8:42 am

I found Goal #3 to be especially charming. It reinforces your status as a woman of mystery.

People who are obsessing over it should consider creating their own secret goal. It’s far more gratifying to work toward a covert plan than uncovering someone else’s (unless of course, you work in the press).

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Jen • August 22, 2008 at 8:44 am

I have read almost every one of your posts. I think you are a wonderful and talented person. Everyone has their peccadilloes and quirks and that is what makes them special. I appreciate your humor and your style. Weight loss is a long, hard road and you make it all seem possible and almost fun. And that is an incredible feat in itself. Thank you for that and being you.

I *heart* PastaQueen.

Jen

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Just_kelly • August 22, 2008 at 8:44 am

PastaQueen,

Screw the haters. I

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Mindy • August 22, 2008 at 8:44 am

I’ve read similar posts on other blogs that I read regularly and I have to really admire you for putting yourself out there like you do. I don’t think I have a thick enough skin to handle comments like the ones to which you and other bloggers refer.

Bravo for your efforts and continuing to share with us.

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Jill • August 22, 2008 at 8:47 am

Well, it’s YOUR blog, so if you want to talk about pureeing frogs in a blender,or whatever, I think you should be able to do that.

I’ll admit, I was curious too about goal #3, but then I thought, “it’s her life and she doesn’t owe her readers anything, so if she wants to keep it a secret, that’s okay.” It’s not that big a deal, and if people are going CRAZY trying to figure it out, then honestly, I think they need more to do in their daily lives.

And unless you specifically ASK to be alerted to spelling errors, then I think people should just keep their corrections to themselves because that is just plain rude.

You are a great blogger but you are not public property. If some people don’t like what you have to say, then there a bazillion other blogs they can go read.

No more harshing on the PQ, people!!!

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Merry • August 22, 2008 at 8:49 am

You get emails pointing out typos? People get so distracted by the words that they miss the message?

I think you sound quite calm about this. When I write a post and someone sends me an email that suggests they’re reading exactly the opposite of what I wrote… I get kinda cranky. Good for you.

When I read your comment about goal #3, I thought you were being honest. There are things about your life you’re not going to divulge. Fair enough.

By the way, Pasta Queen, I noted 3 split infinitives, two dangling modifiers, and a partridge in a pear tree in that last post. Please try to clean up your writing skills juuuuust a bit, okay?

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Jen • August 22, 2008 at 8:50 am

See, the real issue is that your blog is incredibly popular. You have so many people that are coming to your site that you’re bound to have more than a few oversensitive souls and just plain nutjobs. The normal people (obviously I’m not one of them, because I’m replying here) just read your blog and enjoy it most of the time without commenting, or post something innocuous. You just notice the weirdos more because their posts are more interesting. I think instead of trying to defend against the weirdos, you should bait them :) to keep things interesting and drive up your blog traffic. How about talking about how much you enjoyed a recipe posted in the comments last week for a deep-fried rat and with a side of bite-into-them whole passionfruits (and another secret side dish that you don’t want to talk about) during the last tornado warning, while you were sitting on the front porch hoping to see a tornado up close? That should get things hopping!

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Jen • August 22, 2008 at 8:51 am

(p.s. I included that typo in there on purpose too… no, ok, well, I wish I had)

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deanna • August 22, 2008 at 9:09 am

Keep doing what you are doing, say what you want to say, “It’s your blog and you can do what you want to” (sing to “It’s my party I can cry if I want to!). Screw us all, seriously this is your venue to do what you want, so do it! It’s a healthy debate. BTW two things 1) I sooooo want to know what #3is but you said it was personal, so therefore I did not ask, nor do I feel we should ask – you’ll tell us if you want when the time is right. 2) I have to say this because it just FLOORS me – I am from NY lived through the attacks, husband with FDNY, and was not offended – at all.

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still reading • August 22, 2008 at 9:13 am

Hey,ya know what? Its your blog. If people don’t like it, well, then, they can just read some other blog. If they insist on commenting, well, thats what the Macaroni Military is for. (see, I read the disclaimer at the bottom of the page…) I think when the comments get kinda feisty, it shows that you got our attention, and thats a good thing, right? (People who comment on typos just need to get out more often) Remember, we read your blog cause it is interesting, funny and thought provoking. I, for one, am still reading, and lovin every minute of it.

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Alexia • August 22, 2008 at 9:34 am

I was going to write a big long passionate post, but then I saw Just_kelly’s note and said, well, yes, there you go! Screw the haters! We like reading you as-is.

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April • August 22, 2008 at 9:48 am

This blog is where I come for a daily dose of motivation to get off my butt. I love your honesty and your humor and hope that will not change because of a few haters. I notice this trend on every blog I read, no matter what is blogged about, someone out there thinks they’re entitled to criticize and judge.

And I totally blushed at the comment about people pointing out typos. I usually don’t do that because there’s no sense in getting caught up on the little mistake and missing the message but I did point one out not long ago just because I thought it was amusing in its context. So, if that irritated, I’m sorry.

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Sarah • August 22, 2008 at 9:54 am

I’m really sorry that you feel you have to blog defensively. I really hate what the internet has become : a bunch of bullies hiding behind their monitors. Your blog is excellent, hilarious, and most importantly – relate-able.

There are more of us on your side! Ignore the haters!!

And for the record — we should all have personal private goals. Sharing everything shouldn’t be in the cards!!

So – in short — you rock, don’t be afraid of deleting e-mails and if all else fails : turn off comments!!

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mrs darling • August 22, 2008 at 9:57 am

Hey pastaqueen, I cant tell you how many of my readers do the same thing. I use to be attacked all the time in unanticipated ways but now I changed my reading audience from several years ago and it doesnt happen so much. Now see that sentence there could get me in a lot of trouble but I dont spose I will here on your blog. Just say it how you want to say it. Your way of sayig it is jsut as right as theirs. Just because they think cows are holy in India doesnt mean that you need to think cows are holy. Just an example.

Write what you want and be you!

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Erin • August 22, 2008 at 10:03 am

This entry just shows me that I would fail miserably as a blogger. Not that I have a tendency to be insensitive, but I tend to speak my mind WAY too freely, and would wind up insulting about 75% of the population.

I think you’re doing a stand up job at blogging, being honest and witty, and being careful with sensitive issues. And that’s not just lip service because you’re related to one of my good friends.

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Rhonda • August 22, 2008 at 10:07 am

I totally agree with your post. I read your blog quite often and I enjoy it. I think you’re extremely funny and just plain honest. It’s YOUR blog and you’re entitled to write what you want to. I’m certainly not an editor and I have no place to argue. It’s sort of like in a magazine when it has the page near the front with people’s opinions. I get a kick out of people who take the time to actually write to the editor to point out a mistake. Oh, for heaven’s sake people….get a life. I notice when things are mispelled or reported incorrectly. Am I going to take time out of my busy day and blip out a letter to the editor? Heck NO! ;) Just keep on blogging and I’ll keep on reading. Not that you care, but you’ve got two thumbs up from me!!

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PastaQueen • August 22, 2008 at 10:11 am

@Jill – Actually, I don’t mind being alerted to spelling errors. That way I can fix them and not look like an idiot. I did have someone ask me if I was ok after I had several errors in one post, which was weird, like my poor spelling was the sign of a nervous breakdown :) Really I was just very busy that week and didn’t have time to proofread as well as I usually do.

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dandee • August 22, 2008 at 10:18 am

I started reading your blog for the ‘lick the produce’ section and stayed because I love your style. One of my favourite (in Australia that is how we spell favorite) articles was the one you warned nasty people that their words would be deleted. Good on you!

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MaryFran • August 22, 2008 at 10:33 am

I understand your need for defensive blogging, but my word of advice to you. Write what you want and the rest of the idiots that want to dissect and tear apart every little word you say can go to hell on a greased pole. This is YOUR blog…the rest of us are just onlookers to your blog. Personally, even as a great cat lover I would have laughed at the deep fried cat thing! (hell, I go to a chinese restaurant and have been known to start singing….’meow meow meow meow” in the midst of eating.) Write for you, there will be many of us that appreciate it even more than we already appreciate your posts as they currently are!

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Princess Dieter • August 22, 2008 at 10:37 am

Hah. I had assumed #3 was “finding the PastaKing”. And I hope you do, too. :)

May I agree with the “Screw the haters” commenters.

I have a non-diet blog that I’ve neglected, but I remember learning to self-censor (not 100%, but on the touchier stuff), cause you always get the people just looking to get that chip on their shoulder nudged. That crap, I didn’t need.

The P

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Mattie • August 22, 2008 at 10:40 am

See, the problem with blogging is that you can’t hear tone of voice, laughter, and most often intent is misconstrued because it’s flat.

I guess I’m saying I’m sorry if my sense of humor did not shine through. I’m a lot funnier in person.

Seriously.

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JEM • August 22, 2008 at 10:55 am

Blogging can be rough sometimes. I am often taken the wrong way and have many times had my grammar corrected…whatever…I love your blog for what it is…You are brave enough to keep putting yourself out there and I admire that.

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PastaQueen • August 22, 2008 at 10:57 am

@Erin – Actually, insulting people and being controversial can stir up a lot of traffic. Think Rush Limbaugh :)

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BB • August 22, 2008 at 11:27 am

I believe that blogging is a lot like emailing. Things can be interpreted differently then you thought.

Example: I once wrote what I thought was a nice email to an editor at work about something I needed. He took the email wrong, ran to my boss, and I was dragged in to a meeting to explain.

Your blog is doing us a favor. Entertaining us! Motivating us! Inspiring us!

Unfortunately the blog world can be tough. You’re letting us take a peek in to your diary-so to speak. So please keep blogging and have fun with it. Life is too short to worry about what everyone has to say. Except me of course ;)

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scone • August 22, 2008 at 11:31 am

“I don’t like it when reactions to my entries head in weird or unnecessary directions, but I know I can’t control the conversations either.”

But it’s exactly the weird and unexpected that makes your blog lively. Trying to control the process could kill it dead, because it cuts into the authentic ‘warts and all’ feeling of the ‘brand.’

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Natasha • August 22, 2008 at 11:33 am

That’s it?? I thought it would be more raunchly like learn how to stiptease or join the mile high club! :)

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L • August 22, 2008 at 11:54 am

this is a b.s. post.

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Sara • August 22, 2008 at 11:58 am

Catharsis is cool, especially when well stated and entertaining to read. Do you feel better now?

I find myself constantly surprised by the emails and comments I receive in reaction to my own little blog. I try to remain philosophical about it, but I admit that while I expect that people might have an objection or two to the forest I’ve planted, I am never quite prepared for the various fixations on specific trees that pop up. Remaining true to your view point (which is the whole blog schtick to begin with) while still trying to make sure that you don’t alienate your readership can be a tricky balancing act. I think you navigate the high wire beautifully.

P.S. I’m totally adding “You can build a great moat only to be attacked by flying monkeys” to my personal phraseology. Hilarious and clever, an unbeatable combo!

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Jenna • August 22, 2008 at 12:20 pm

I love your honestly. People are way too sensitive. What’s the point of having a Blog like this if you can’t say what you really feel? You kick ass and poo to the people that give you crap for it.

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Hoosier MeeShee • August 22, 2008 at 12:25 pm

BTW – I’m still here and reading, I have just become a lurker out of necessity recently. I still love your blog, and your book, and I’ve never been offended!!!

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sandyg • August 22, 2008 at 12:26 pm

I say its your blog you say what you want..people dont like it they have the freedom to not read it just like the TV..dont like it turn it off..I find your blog funny and inspiring..

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MizFit • August 22, 2008 at 12:28 pm

amen, Sister.

to all of it.

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Melsky • August 22, 2008 at 12:40 pm

I’m very offended by this post… and your next one.

But seriously, I think you are one of the bloggers who I read regularly who offends me the least!

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victoria • August 22, 2008 at 12:41 pm

While we’re on the subject of “blog posts that elicit unwanted comments/advice,” whatever happened to your headache? The one that spawned headache cure advice by the metric ton? Did it ever get better? I was worried about you.

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Talli van Sunder, DPT • August 22, 2008 at 1:11 pm

Just remember you know that you have made it when people are mean to you. Most of the time I don’t understand why people even bother to be negative. I always say that they should stop reading a blog or listening to a podcast if they don’t like it, instead of trying to be hurtful. You are doing great. Because you are real, people like what you have to say. Keep on being yourself and great things will come your way.

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lydia • August 22, 2008 at 1:27 pm

I love your blogs, don’t stress about it, just be yourself…

your’s truly, the online psychic and weight loss warrior.

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G.G. • August 22, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Have to admit I’ve never take offense to any of your posts. May not have agree with everything you say, but who cares? It’s always refreshing to hear an articulate person express themselves with humor and intelligence–and vive la difference, anyway!

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lindsey • August 22, 2008 at 1:45 pm

Honey, it is your blog. We are your readers. One of the fundamental things that I have learned in life is that “You can’t please everybody, so just please yourself.” This is your window into your life and you are letting us take a glimpse into. I must admit, from what I have read thus far, I enjoy it immensely. People will get angry, they will say what they want, but YOU are the writer and it doesn’t really matter one hairy rat’s ass bit what anybody else thinks. If your really offend me. I’ll get over it. If it is bad enough, I, no one else, has the option to shut the window. So, I’ll tell you what my favorite saying is, “They’ll get over it.”

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Sarah • August 22, 2008 at 2:06 pm

This is one of the best blogs about blogging ever. Good for you!

People tend to think that because you put your thoughts in a public place (the internet) that they have a right to use your space to critique that. Sometimes I wonder why people bother reading my blog at all if all they want to do is argue with me about what it should complain. If you don’t like it, don’t read it! Of course blogs should be a place where free discussion can take place, but not everyone can moderate the discussion to their own personal preferences. That’s why it’s YOUR blog, after all.

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Sarah • August 22, 2008 at 2:07 pm

…”Contain,” not “complain.” Whoops.

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jae • August 22, 2008 at 2:16 pm

I guess that’s why when I comment I usually comment first then read the other comments later. I want to focus on what you wrote and not everyone elses interpretation.

I’m also finding (in real life and the internet) everyone takes everything so literal. If someones says they’re going to “paint the town red” you have someone else dialing 911 to report a vandalism about to happen. It drives me nuts!

I hope you don’t have to censor yourself. You have always been honest and that’s why I always stop by to read. I hope it can continue. ~j

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gknee • August 22, 2008 at 3:06 pm

I’ve had at least 6 pet rats.(nice pets but short lifespan– which can be a good thing)

I’d worry more about pissed off carnies….

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K and J's mom • August 22, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Keep on doing what you do, PQ! You have a great blog and are very easy to relate to- which is why you have such a great following. If others don’t like it, well, they can “read elsewhere” right?

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Sarah • August 22, 2008 at 4:20 pm

People are waaaay too sensitive. To everything you said, word.

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K • August 22, 2008 at 4:44 pm

I love the way you write, and I think you’re funny. And I think you shouldn’t worry too much about offending people. Some people will be offended by ANYTHING.

That said, I understand why you might aim to write for your audience, and why there are limits to what you want to share. That’s your prerogative; there’s no rule of blogging that says you can’t keep anything to yourself. It was a little bit tantalising to see that third secret goal listed, but there’s nothing wrong with a little mystery…

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Johanna • August 22, 2008 at 4:50 pm

Don’t worry so much about what other people think. This is your blog and your story. If you want to write about carnies frying cats, then go for it. People who read this blog do so because we enjoy reading what you have to say, and we find motivation from it. I think sensoring yourself would almost defeat the purpose. Just say what’s on your mind and ignore the haters.

Jo

P.S. This is my second time visiting your blog. I bought your book last week and really enjoyed it. Thanks for making your weight loss public. I’m still scared to tell people how much weight I lost because I don’t want them to figure out my starting weight. :)

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Amy • August 22, 2008 at 4:52 pm

I figure if I blog and allow comments, I have to expect some disagreement. Otherwise I’d just do a diary! We were just talking about this the other day on Frema’s blog. I think we finally agreed on the part where it’s not cool to leave anonymous vitriol but then we differed on how “nice” ppl had to be. Of course my blog has very little traffic so I have the opportunity to offend/be offended less often. Overall I think getting comments outweighs a few bad ones and so far I’ve only had to delete spam, but I’m sure that could change.

I am definitely more sensitive than others to animal things, so I’m equally sad about cats and rats. But I pick my battles and that one wasn’t worth it! I don’t think I noticed it so much the first time but then when you pointed it out this time I was like, man, she KNEW and she said it anyway? :D

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Tara • August 22, 2008 at 5:03 pm

I love your blog just the way it is. It is your life and how you write about it shouldn’t be of any mind to anyone. They should be lucky enough to just be able to share a part of your life and your wonderful story. Missed spelled words and eating a passion fruit wrong, give me a break. What are these people a bunch of blog Nazi’s! You shouldn’t have to edit yourself to make a selected few happy. I say stay yourself and do what makes you happy.

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Ruth • August 22, 2008 at 5:25 pm

Delurking here to say: I’ve been a fan for years. Years! And I actually frequent a lot of the same sites you do since I see you comment on them as well. (I never comment.)

I even remember a Fat Slayer incident where you were totally misunderstood and you even tried to explain and reassure which somehow made it worse. But, I totally saw what you were saying at the time. (Don’t bother looking for that one either, People. I think it’s long gone.)

Some people have this amazing capacity to hear what they want to hear and be mad if they want to. It’s very weird. I often find blogs I don’t like or disagree with and I simply stop reading. It boggles me that some are so eager to fight.

Anyway, I’m de-lurking to say… You’re Great! I love everything you write.

Thanks!

Ruth

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anonymous boxer • August 22, 2008 at 5:25 pm

I knew you’d figure out why boxing is good. :-)

weave and bob, weave and bob.

This is a FREE blog, right?

You can do whatever you want.

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Gaby • August 22, 2008 at 5:54 pm

PQ, your blogs always rock

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M.R. • August 22, 2008 at 6:54 pm

And I just say, Hooray for you!!!! Keep blogging.

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Gwendolyn • August 22, 2008 at 10:05 pm

I

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s • August 22, 2008 at 10:12 pm

i love your blog. i relate to so many of your entries!

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Lydia • August 22, 2008 at 10:24 pm

I’m glad you cleared that up! Here I was assuming that goal #3 was about a guy.

You should stop self-editing a few of your entries and see what happens. You never know; people might like reading you even more. If that’s even possible!

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Ang • August 22, 2008 at 10:58 pm

One thing I liked about your book was that while you were very funny, you also sounded calm and sensible. It helped me to relate to your experiences. I like for someone to have sensible boundaries. I kind of liked that you didn’t feel obligated to reveal everything. It was fun thinking about the third goal, it got me thinking about my own goals.

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lila • August 22, 2008 at 11:53 pm

You’re amazing. I know it can’t be easy being this exposed.

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Laura N • August 23, 2008 at 1:00 am

Man I’m glad that only, like, 10 people read my blog. That is a damn lot of pressure to be under every time you want to write a post.

And, seriously, you are such a great writer. We all love you and I’ll just echo the “screw the haters” refrain, with a “I totally understand why you try not to piss people off unnecessisarily.”

Blog on, girlfriend.

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Lynda • August 23, 2008 at 9:47 am

I am amazed by anyone who blogs…and I am totally in awe of you and your accomplishments!

keep on blogging!

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earthmamma • August 23, 2008 at 10:28 am

the thought of you being careful about what you write gives me sharp pain in my gut (or its possibly the chinese dumplings i devoured last night). either way…please please try and block us out as much as you can and just write whatever comes to mind. you are just too clever with your words and too sharp with your wit to keep everyone happy.

ive been meaning to say this for a long time…but i would be more than happy to pay for the indulgence of reading your blogs every week. i have trouble falling asleep at night from the guilt of not having to pay a cent to read your golden insights and random observations.

so far my favorite quote is (from my memory) “you are not going to find ‘inspiration’ written at the bottom of the ice cream carton.”

make sure you let me know when you are flying to australia to promote your book – my home is your home!!

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Gwendolyn • August 23, 2008 at 11:34 am

Weird, part of my previous comment was eaten…

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The Baroness • August 23, 2008 at 11:30 pm

Defense!! Defense!!

I don’t know anything about sports.

I’m glad to hear, at least, that your third goal has nothing to do with a man. I am so tired of everyone I know making finding a man their #1 priority. Not that you shouldn’t think it would be nice, but there are other, more important things.

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liz • August 25, 2008 at 7:55 pm

For some reason it really cracked me up that you referred to a potential suitor as a PastaKing. LOL. hee hee. I am still laughing at that. Why I don’t know. LOL.

I agree with the whole stop censoring yourself so much. It takes the fun out of blogging. Who cares if you said cat vs rat. I don’t! And if you do accidentally offend someone (which is MUCH different from purposefully), it will just add some spice. I think we can endure that. You should know by now you cannot make everybody happy. :)

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog JenFul.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

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