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Gives new meaning to making a donut run

I decided to skip Saturday morning’s training run because there was snow on the ground and I’ve already fallen once this year, but down in North Carolina they gave runners a great incentive to finish a race course: Krispy Kreme donuts. (Raising money for charity is all good too, but less tangible and not as tasty in your mouth.) According to this article runners ran from a bell tower at North Carolina State to a Krispy Kreme store two miles away and back in near-freezing temperatures. (Oh, only near freezing? I am now less impressed. Try 6 degrees, baby!) And, by the way, they had to stop and eat a dozen donuts at the Krispy Kreme store, preferably without vomiting on the way back. I’m sure course volunteers have no problems cleaning up paper cups for water, but no one wants to mop up partially digested donuts from the sidewalk. In anticipation of this, they actually placed trash bins at the end of the course.

Even in the days when I did not care what I put into my body, I never ate an entire box of Krispy Kremes. I think four would be my limit, maybe five if they were hot and gooey. And I certainly didn’t run afterwards. The race had a one-hour time limit too, so there was no meandering. Philip Curley, the winner with a time of 31:20, said his eating technique was to eat “them two at a time. I smashed them together, rolled them up, and shaped them as a hot dog. Then I would dip it in water and it would get really soft.” Personally, if I’m going to cram 2400 calories into my body (equivalent to 0.7 pounds of fat), I’d like to take the time to enjoy them. I would not, as 3rd place finisher Auburn Staples said, want to reach “a point where I puked a little bit, but I was able to swallow it back down.”

More than 3,000 people participated. That means someone had to cook 36,000 donuts the night before. While I am excited to be taking part in races these days, I think I’d skip the Krispy Kreme Challenge if it ever came to town.


TiVo Reminder: Hey, y’all, the lovely Mo from Big Fat Deal will be on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet this morning talking about fat and health. I would set my TiVo if I owned one. Sadly, I only have a VCR that eats tapes and then vomits them back up like Krispy Kreme donuts. Hopefully someone will record the event and post it on YouTube for all of us to see. Good luck, Mo!

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21 Comments

K • January 28, 2008 at 8:44 am

Eurgh!

I wonder how they got that one past Health and Safety legislation (or whatever the US equivalent is)?

I could probably eat 12 of those little doughnuts that are about two inches across, but even then I wouldn’t want to run a race afterwards. Even if it was only two miles. No.

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hanlie • January 28, 2008 at 8:54 am

I know it was probably supposed to be in the spirit of good fun and all that, but I find the whole idea in poor taste. (When did I become this humourless?) There are millions of people who know how to eat badly. Let’s not teach them new ways to disrespect food and their bodies.

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Comrade GoGo • January 28, 2008 at 9:24 am

You know, as much as I’ve overeaten sweets in the past, somehow I escaped the clutches of donut addiction. That race sounds extremely vomitous.

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Melsky • January 28, 2008 at 9:29 am

I also find that in poor taste. I don’t like eating contests. People who participate in eating contests are called guritators. It’s the opposite of regurgitation, so you are basically puking in reverse! Yuck.

I do enjoy a donut now and then, the market near my house has these amazing buttermilk donuts. I actually try to shop in the evening when they are out of donuts so I’m not tempted by them.

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Kery • January 28, 2008 at 10:04 am

Uh, I read about that earlier today. Personnally, I find it totally silly, not to say downright stupid. And out of personal experience: when I was in middle school, one guy in my class ate two entrées and three desserts for lunch on top of the meet & pasta dish. Then we had to run for 30 minutes in P.E. class. Then we had Physics class. Guess who vomited right on the teacher’s feet? So. Not. A. Good. Idea.

Oh well, I suppose people who donated money were in fact secretly hoping that the runners would puke on the way back? (Because, well, nothing is funnier than runners making themselves sick. We all know that. /snickers)

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chanda • January 28, 2008 at 10:18 am

Ewww! I can’t think of a worse way to spend a Saturday – horking down donuts and running in the cold until you want to puke- I suppose one could say at least it was for charity, but couldn’t they come up with a healthier gimmick?

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Allison • January 28, 2008 at 10:31 am

That race was in my town- Raleigh NC. It was quite amusing.

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G.G. • January 28, 2008 at 10:54 am

Wow. Just reading about that makes me want to throw up a little! And then pass out from the thought of eating all that sugar. AND then running multiple miles.

Wonder if it would sound as bad if they were eating cake donuts instead of what I assume were the iconic glazed Krispy Kremes? Or if they got to dunk them in coffee instead of water?

I will not be testing that hypothesis.

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Crabby McSlacker • January 28, 2008 at 11:30 am

I like running.

I like Krispy Kremes.

But running while cramming Krispy Kremes in my mouth? No thanks!

Thanks for spotting this, it’s too funny.

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Poppy • January 28, 2008 at 11:35 am

For the past few years I’ve participated in a 30 mile bike race in Staunton, Illinois called the Tour de Donut. They have stops at the 10 and 20 mile markers where they have glazed donuts (not Krispy Kreme but a local bakery’s) to eat. For every donut you eat you get 5 minutes off of your finishing time – a volunteer marks your bib # as you take each donut to keep track. I eat one donut at each rest stop (and even that makes me feel a little ill), but I regularly see people smooshing 4 or 5 together and eating them like a sandwich and then going back for more. The adjusted time winners (they keep track of both your official time and your adjusted donut-time) always have negative times. Amazingly, I’ve only seen a few piles of donut puke on the course, but at least it’s all on country roads and not in the center of a town.

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Migraineur • January 28, 2008 at 11:45 am

Obscene!

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Happy • January 28, 2008 at 12:24 pm

I started out reading this post thinking “yummy” and finished it thinking “I do NOT want donuts.”

I guess I should thank you.

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JEM • January 28, 2008 at 12:29 pm

High impact cardio always takes away my appetite. I could never eat right after I run, much less in the middle of the run, much less still dounuts…besides, I need to burn all the calories I can, if I ran all that way, I am not going to eat more than I burned in one sitting..yikes! What a strange thing to do!

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Topher • January 28, 2008 at 12:32 pm

I agree. Sounds disgusting and insane. And that’s comeing from a guy who’s running blog is called “I’ll Run for Donuts”.

BTW, I just found your blog from Laura at Absolut(ly) Fit. Congratulations on what you’ve accomplished. That’s awesome!

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Laura • January 28, 2008 at 12:53 pm

That is just so wrong on so many levels. What a freaking nut house of a country we live in. =)

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Greta • January 28, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Soooo ridiculous. I hate to admit it, if I was running TO the Krispy Kremes. But WITH the KKs?

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Renee • January 28, 2008 at 9:20 pm

The YouTube clips for the Mike and Juliet show are up over on Shapely Prose (kateharding.net).

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Grace • January 28, 2008 at 9:30 pm

When I lived in New Orleans I did beer-a-thons, my fave being Tchouplitoulas 6 miles, 6 bars 6 beer. FUN. If the KK’s were hot off the grill I could do it!! (Had to comment since there were so many negatives)

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Lori Moore • January 29, 2008 at 3:44 am

Hi!

Just wanted to say I have been reading you for a while now…love when you have a new post. I added a link to your blog. I am writing for the first time.

Again, thanks for the entertainment.

Lori

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BrightAngel • January 29, 2008 at 10:41 am

I’m not a runner…but I will say I would be willing to “WALK” 2 miles to and from a Krispy Kreme to get free donuts….Why is it that…. in my mind….”free” means both financially and calorie free?

In my large-body-days, many times I had a dozen glazed donuts. The secret to deliciousness was to eat as many as I wanted at first…probably 4 or more…then eat another every 15 minutes, or half hour or so.

Donuts have been such a draw to me that once I had to place a box of donuts on my driveway and drive my car back and forth over it a few times in order to keep from eating the remaining contents.

One glazed Krispy Kreme donut is 200 calories, which I could fit into a day’s calorie budget…Someday I might have one again…but for a long time I’ve made other choices.

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Stephanie Quilao • January 29, 2008 at 8:35 pm

The night before Thanksgiving day, I stopped at a Krispy Kreme just because I was on my way to my folks house and had to go potty badly. Since it was an hour before closing, they were giving out free donuts to anyone who walked in the door. I walked away with about half a dozen donuts. I took one bite and felt a nauseating feeling quickly arising. Unbelievable. I’ve been eating so clean lately that my body instantly rejected the sugar encrusted carb ring as if to say, “Oh hell no, that thing doesn’t get to party in this club no more.”

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

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