November 20, 2007 at 8:06 am
I’m glad I took a picture of 170.8 because I ain’t nowhere near that number this week. There has been some stress at Casa de Pasta during the past two weeks. It involves things that “Thou Shalt Not Blog About,” so I can’t get into the details. As a result I haven’t read any blogs for two weeks, so hopefully no one has eloped or died or opened a salt water taffy shop without me knowing. However, I can assure you that everything is all right now. In retrospect it’s all worked out for the best too.
Except for the part with the three pints of ice cream.
Don’t worry, I didn’t eat them all in one night. I still have some restraint. But when I stare into the vortex of uncertainty, I like to imagine the swirling vortex is a chocolate marshmallow Pinwheel cookie and then I devour it whole. Twelve times.
I’ve read a lot of blogs over the years and I’ve always felt bad for the bloggers who gain weight when their life takes an unexpected turn – be it divorce or unemployment or moving. I’ve read along and sympathized, but secretly I was glad it wasn’t me and that stress-eating happened to other people. I told them to knock it off and that eating cookies would not solve their problems. For the most part I believe that, but honestly, the cookies did help a little. So did the ice cream. They made me feel good for several minutes when I wasn’t feeling all that good.
They did not solve my problems, though. Ultimately they could have caused more problems if my pants had stopped fitting. I was amazed that my jeans could go from being a little loose to being a little tight in just the course of a week. I’d never really dedicated myself to hardcore stress eating like that any time in the past few years. But I wanted to do the “wrong” thing because I’ve done the “right” thing for so long. As much as I like that I can run and skip and jump, I have to admit I really like eating too. It’s fun. It’s almost a hobby. When I was pigging out, I knew I was making bad choices, but I didn’t care. I always tell stressed out people not to overeat, but it’s much easier to tell someone to drop the chocolate bar when you are not personally worried and anxious. I always seem to forget how stressful stress is. The word “stress” is so overused that the actual impact of the feeling gets detached from the word.
My time of stress also coincided with my cold, so I felt like the weight I lost due to illness was a gift card from my body redeemable for ten pounds of bad eating. Only, I really need to stop now. Hear that, self? Stop with the overeating, already! The stress is gone and while your life is slightly different now, you don’t need to be buying candy bars at Walgreens in the middle of the night. I need to take up knitting or something to keep me busy in the evenings when I have an urge to eat everything in sight. I need to stop buying binge foods like cereal and breads. I need to get back into my humdrum, health and fitness routine. Everything was working fine before! Why can’t we go back to before? Life was so groovy then and I had my own happy theme song playing on an infinite loop.
But sometimes life changes. Or your theme song gets switched. It just does. Your average day today is not going to be your average day fifty years from now. You have to roll with it and make healthy living a part of your life no matter what. I have the advantage that I know what to do to lose weight, I just have to do it. I must adapt to survive. And having three pounds of pumpkin puree in your freezer is not an excuse to eat an entire pumpkin cheesecake. Well, it’s an excuse, just not a good one. I suppose this is just part of the never-ending battle, sometimes you lose, sometimes you win, but you just have to keep fighting even when your sword looks like a cake knife.