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I’m tellin’ y’all it’s sabotage

Last week I was disappointed I didn’t gain weight. This was when I realized I might be sabotaging myself.

During the great feline food incident, I stepped on the scale the day after eating way too much chili and was surprised to see that my weight had not changed. It was still 176. That was strange. I was certain all the eating would have made the scale go up. That or the fact that I’d skipped my cardio the day before. But it hadn’t. I was still at 176. Meaning the weight I’d lost earlier in the month was still pretty much gone. This was weird because I’ve been hanging out at 180 for about five months now. I’m used to the numbers going down for a bit and then bouncing back up a bit and then descending once again only to ascend a week later. It’s been a while since a loss has stuck.

I was looking down at the nail polish that’s still on my toes two months after my brother’s wedding and I realized I was disappointed. I wasn’t really sure why. I might have been frustrated because it makes sense that if you eat too much you should gain weight. I like living in a universe where there are concrete “if X then Y” statements. It’s upsetting when the laws of physics do not seem to be working. Would the bananas on the counter start breaking the law of gravity and float past the cabinets as well? That’s a fairly good reason, but I think I am scared to get to goal. Which seems silly because I wrote a huge, long post about why I most certainly want to get to goal, why yessirree, so why would I be scared?

Because the more you achieve the more you have to lose. Or the more I lose the more I have to lose, though putting it the first way sounds much less non-sense-acle. If/When I get to goal three things could happen: I can lose even more weight, I can maintain, or I can gain. If I lose even more weight it’s like scoring extra-credit points, but eventually I’ll reach a point where I have to maintain or gain. Otherwise I will eventually evaporate and there will be nothing left of me to bury. So, we can cut out the first option and say eventually I’ll have to either maintain or gain. This is no-win situation. If I’m maintaining I’m still doing all the work I did while losing and I’m no longer getting any credit. No one ever says, “Woo-hoo! Congratulations on weighing the same as you did last week. That must have taken a lot of work!” It becomes expected of you, something to be taken for granted. The excellence becomes expected. Of course you should maintain your weight. Why shouldn’t you? But if you slip a little and gain a pound or two, it’s a disappointment. Once you reach the top, there’s no where to go but down. You have to keep maintaining the same level of perfection, but it’s no longer considered an achievement, just something you should do naturally. Or to quote the film Searching for Bobby Fischer, “Maybe it’s better not to be the best. Then you can lose, and it’s O.K.”

I’m afraid of success. I’m afraid of getting to my goal weight of 160 and then the next day stepping on it to see the number 161. If I continue to hover at 180 then my goal weight is still on the horizon, it’s still something I could get to. But if I actually get there, I’ll have accomplished it. I can write it down as something I did. And I could lose it. I can’t lose something that I never achieve. Which is why I’ve felt so safe hovering around 180 these past couple of months. I still have the dream of getting to 160, the potential, but I haven’t converted it into an accomplishment yet. And once I do, there’s no going back.

If fearing success wasn’t bad enough, there’s also the fear of failure. What if I can’t do it? It’s like a street musician saying, “I could get a major record contract if I wanted to, but I just love the ambiance of the subway, so I’m not going to try.” It’s just a cover for the fact that you’re so scared of failing at something that you don’t bother to try. Which is the other reason I feel safe at 180. I haven’t failed to get to goal yet since I’m still running and lifting weights and working on getting there, but I haven’t succeeded yet either. I’m in a nice little purgatory where I don’t have to live with the pressures of success, but I’m not disappointed by failure.

But it’s stupid to be afraid of success or failure. I shouldn’t avoid achieving something because I might not be able to sustain it forever. It’s better to be a has-been than a never-was. What if The Beatles decided never to release any records because the songs Paul McCartney writes these days aren’t as classic or groundbreaking in comparison? I could get to 160 and then someday gain back weight, but it shouldn’t stop me from getting there at least once.

So, screw fear. Screw extra-large chili servings. Screw self-sabotage. I am in this. I am going to get to fucking goal. And someday I may gain back 20 pounds. But I will take a picture of my feet standing next to those digital numbers and I’ll stick it on the fridge. So even if I’m grabbing a half-pint of ice cream, I’ll know what I accomplished and I’ll know I could one day do it again.

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36 Comments

Ann-Charlotte Jansson • October 16, 2007 at 8:15 am

As always you write so well what’s floating around in my head! I’m wrestling the same dilemma as you, I’m a few kilos away from goal and I’ve been hovering here for what feels like ages. When I think about going for goal I get kind of scared and convince myself that it’s pretty great to be where I am right now (I sometimes convince myself that it’s shallow to want to go even lower), but I think it’s just fear of getting to goal and then failing by regaining. Or discovering it’s bloody hard to maintain and not all you thought it would be. But I decided to go for goal anyway, to get there at least once! And then take it from there.

We’ll get to our bloody goals, hell yeah! :)

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Twix • October 16, 2007 at 8:23 am

Amen!! I’m stuck at 314 and I know what you are getting at. I know it’s stupid, too. My goal is to get under 300 by Christmas. I’m scared of success too. I’m even more scared of failing. Screw fear!! I’m going to follow your lead and post a picture of me at 299 on my fridge. We should be proud of our accomplishments. Our weight losses and our maintenance when we get to our goals. I know I can do this! I know you can too!! What you have accomplished so far is way AWESOME!!!

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Debbi • October 16, 2007 at 9:27 am

I’ve been to goal and am on my way back again. It’s damned hard to maintain, and you’re right in saying you don’t get many pats on the back for staying the same.

I’ve had to finally get to the point where I’m not struggling to get to goal in order to get compliments. I say, “Screw compliments!” I don’t want ‘em and I don’t need ‘em. I need to be healthy and fit (which I think I am now, even with 30 pounds to go) and I need to be at goal because it’s where I need to be.

My children have the unique ability to not compliment me when I’ve stopped doing something I shouldn’t have been doing anyway. Like smoking. They’re happy I’ve stopped, but I didn’t get one single “attagirl” from them. For some reason, people always notice and comment on weight loss and then we start expecting it.

For me, I need to stop expecting them, stop wanting them and Just Do It.

Here’s to getting to goal.

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hopefulloser • October 16, 2007 at 10:01 am

When I was 30 pounds less than I am right now (and still not at goal) I started thinking about my non-weight (but somewhat related) goals that I could achieve because I was more fit. Like all the home improvement I now had the energy and stamina to do. It distracts you from being to focused on your weight and contributes to weight maintenance.

It’s when I loss sight of any goals that 30 pounds crept back on.

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Jenny • October 16, 2007 at 10:24 am

So after I finished reading this post, I realized I was standing up, my fist in the air. I’ve been hovering toooooo long over my goal weight for every reason you listed and I can tell you this has helped me. So, hell yeah, here’s to hitting goals.

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Allison • October 16, 2007 at 10:37 am

What I did is after I reached my goal I set more/different goals. Set a goal to drop your body fat %, or to run a 10K, or to do a pull up or something. That way you’re constantly achieving. And if even with those fitness goals you put on 5 pounds then you can make your new goal to lose 5 pounds. For me it’s not necessarily getting there (although I love accomplishing goals) it’s always having something to strive towards.

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MB • October 16, 2007 at 10:45 am

Don’t be scared. You can get to your goal weight and then make other goals for yourself. I like the fitness related ones such as increasing your stamina or time, etc.

I haven’t figured out the maintenance part but I’m sure you will once you get there.

I’m looking forward to hearing what your non-weight loss related goals are. Maybe another book? Maintaining Half-Assed?

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ellynad • October 16, 2007 at 11:08 am

You rock.

It’s as simple as that.

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G.G. • October 16, 2007 at 11:51 am

When you hit this goal, you can make your next goal to be in even better shape. That way you can call your sequel “Hard-Assed” . . . .

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TeaMouse • October 16, 2007 at 12:10 pm

What an honest post – I think for me the thing that keeps me from even getting out of the gate is the bloody fear of failing. Once you start and it’s obvious to others you are doing something you have this fear that you’ll fail and not only upset yourself but others will know you couldn’t hack it. What a dumb reason not to do something – but that’s been mine for years.

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Diana the Scale Junkie • October 16, 2007 at 12:46 pm

I really think it has to do with the banana boomerang gravity theory equation that states that any unexpected lost pounds will zing around and slap you in the ass a week later (okay, not really) because my weight is up 3.8 pounds and I worked out extra hard, skipped the chili, changed my name and wore a wig but they still found me!!! I say screw it all too, I’m doing the right thing for my body, I’m stronger and healthier and it will show me the appreciation with a number on the scale I like…some day :-)

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Her Grace • October 16, 2007 at 12:49 pm

Excellent, excellent post.

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TOWR • October 16, 2007 at 1:12 pm

I completely agree! Maybe once you get to 160, change your goal so it’s, “I will never get above 165 again” and as long as you hover in those five pounds you’re CONSTANTLY achieving your goal. You’re totally my hero, you will totally get to 160, and you will totally stay there!

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scone • October 16, 2007 at 1:59 pm

Once you get to goal, the new challenge is avoiding relapse, beating the 95% failure rate. But: every year of successful maintenance improves your odds. That’s a good analogy: weight loss is like creating a new program, doing the systems analysis, etc. Maintenance is like, well, maintenance. You debug for a couple of years and after you get to version 3, you just cruise. Fear lessens, confidence increases.

However, you have a partner, your body, who is a living thing, not just a simple input-output machine. The body is in constant tension between equilibrium and chaos. Sometimes you eat a lot, don’t exercise, and still lose. There’s some deep math at work here, obviously, but the knowledge base is pretty scanty so far. Maybe someday you’ll work on a vast visual modeling program showing exactly what’s going on in the body, moment by moment, at any level of detail. Too cool.

PQ – Ack! Again, the 95% myth. Someone dropped this one in the comments last week. Actually, no one knows how many people regain weight. That 95% thing just keeps getting passed around without questions.

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Janice Bridge • October 16, 2007 at 2:34 pm

Scone’s post is absolutely right on! Anyone who has had a deep personal involvement in weight loss/weight gain, KNOWS that not all of the ‘rules’ apply.. . . learning how your personal body interacts and reacts to stress, food (too much or too little), fluids(plain, carbonated, or alcoholic), exercise or the lack thereof is the key to long term success.

Weightloss does not cure obesity. Weightloss simply gives us a healthier body in which to struggle. I know exactly how I can regain the 130 pounds I have lost. In fact I can probably predict how long it would take me to reach my previous weight crest. But for now, I am accepting the challenge to live in this lower weight body – 12 months and 11 day, but who is counting?

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Kyle • October 16, 2007 at 2:52 pm

First of all, I need to *internet bitch slap* you for being disapointed that the scale didn’t go up when you overate.

But, now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, let me just say that you’re right. Once you’re in the maintaining stage it gets boring. And it’s the hardest part of all. Losing is exciting…look at me, every day the number is going down, people are noticing, I look great, YAY! And then maintaining is like, ok, people are just starting to expect me to look great all the time, and what’s the reward for seeing the same damn number on the scale every damn day?!?

I lost 50 lbs about 3 years ago (or was it 4, I can’t remember). I never had a specific goal weight to get to, I just wanted to be in shape. I maintained for less than a year, moved to Chile, and gained about 20lbs back. Then I lost those same 20lbs again before my wedding. On the honeymoon and first two months of newlywed stage, gained 10, and now am in the process of losing (hopefully) 15! My state of life is easier when I’m in the losing stage. I like the challenge and seeing my success every day on the scale or the fit of my clothes motivates me. Maintaining is so difficult for me because if the scale doesn’t move for a few days, I think, i’m a normal person, I don’t need to worry about this diet and excercise crap. And then 5 lbs later, you’re like, whatever, it’s just 5 lbs, I still look and feel better than I did 45 lbs ago…and so on and so on.

My biggest motivator for not regaining more than 20lbs ever? Not being able to afford a new wardrobe. I had just replaced my wardrobe with the 50 lb weight loss and (smartly) gave all my bigger clothes to goodwill.

Anyways,this comment turned into a tangent, i should’ve just posted my own blog entry.

You’ll get to your goal. You know that. Don’t be scared.

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Valerie • October 16, 2007 at 3:07 pm

Wonderful post!

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Annie • October 16, 2007 at 3:19 pm

Really great, thought-provoking post. I’m personally almost halfway through a 100 pound weight loss and it’s just so crazy to think of all the mental and emotional stuff that goes along with weight loss. It’s stuff the fear of success, etc., that I chose to write off or ignore in the past, but seeing how you’ve confronted your feelings throughout this whole process makes me realize I need need to be doing the same (no matter how ridiculous the feelings seem).

Regarding your goal weight though — I read the Beck Diet Solution and found it to be INCREDIBLY helpful when I started my program. In fact, I adored it so much, I’m about to go back and read it again. :) Anyway, one of the things she stressed the last part of the book was that most people have a lowest “attainable” and a “maintainable” weight. So when you reach you goal of 160, you may actually shortly thereafter that your “maintainable” weight may be 165 or 170. Or maybe not, but I just wanted to throw this thought out there.

Keep up the great work. I can’t wait to read your book!

PQ – Yeah, I figured someone would mention that, but I couldn’t find a graceful way to put it in the post without it becoming a tangent. I’m prepared for that possibility, but knowing me and my body I really do think I can get down to 160 comfortably. I haven’t really been trying much lately, but I’m kicking it back into gear now.

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JanB • October 16, 2007 at 3:57 pm

I think what I have learned in the whole eating and weight gain/loss thing is that eating more or exercising less does not necessarily equal a gain because you can’t discount the power of a revved up metabolism.

Do you think that part of the problem is the extra burden that your book adds to your effort? You are human first and putting too much pressure on yourself never to gain is too hard. But to say, “No matter what happens, I will not let myself go back to the way things were.” Is what I try to say to myself. This is because no one knows when an accident, illness or an emotional tragedy can severely knock us off track.

Be human. We love you for that!!

PQ – When I got the book deal, I had not yet lost half my weight, so I did feel a bit of pressure to do that before my deadline. But I had LOTS of time and it happened within two months, so after that I had a sigh of relief since I could say I lost half my weight. Otherwise, I would say I do feel a responsibility to keep the weight off just to show people that it can be done. Writing a book makes me a somewhat public figure and I’m so sick of people saying long-term weight loss is impossible that I’d really like to stick it to them. However, I would be surprised if sometime in my life I DIDN’T gain back 10 or 20 pounds because cats do get sick and shit happens. So, I don’t feel a “burden,” but I have a heightened sense of responsibility, to both myself and my community.

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virg • October 16, 2007 at 4:20 pm

I see that you worry a lot about the number on the scale. I think Allison said it best, but I think it is a very important point.

You can set new goals.

The beauty of fitness goals is that they can also take your mind away from worrying about the scale number, and make compliance with your “program” a more positive experience.

Once you can do one pullup, then you can shoot for 2, then 10 (sometimes I think I’ll never get there!)

When you can keep executing those behaviors that keep you fit and healthy, you will always be winning. Do whatever you can to make it a positive experience, and then when you do deviate it is so much easier to go back to the behaviors that rewarded you with better body composition and fitness.

No fear!

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Marshmallow • October 16, 2007 at 4:35 pm

*eyes bug out of head* omg omg omg omg I *SO* do the ‘If x then y’ thing whenever I weigh myself! I get so much more frustrated when the science doesn’t add up rather than watching the numbers ‘move favourably’. Example – I had a hens night last Friday. There were margaritas, caipiranhas, and mojitos involved. As well as mexican food. Stood on the scales? Very little movement. Was I impressed? NO! I was “But..! That doesn’t make sense!” It’s not the end number, but the It Doesn’t Match Up With Science that makes weigh ins like this completely boggling. Hence why I’ve tackled my weight loss like a science project, and when the science doesn’t behave, it pisses me off.

[notice how I've completely blown over the rest of your post, I was too excited about the 'she thinks just like me!'-ness and I had people calling me with database problems in the middle of the night. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.]

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Les~ • October 16, 2007 at 5:18 pm

Dear HERO ‘o mine:

Had to delurk to say . . . I agree with everyone!

Excellent post and you rock the weight loss girl!

[insert high five here]

Les~

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starbird • October 16, 2007 at 6:42 pm

Fear of success? Maybe, but maybe more like fear of attaining a goal that had seemed unreachable. As a freelance writer, I found that setting goals once a year and never looking at the paper until Jan. 1 of the following years was a good plan. But one year I reached an income goal (I peeked) in October! omg! what to do? I asked my fellow writers and got fairly unsatisfactory answers. One said, “Just sit back and relax for the rest of the year!” Nope, can’t do that or you’ll get out of your groove.

My solution was to set impossibly high income goals. The other posters have the right idea for what to do when weight loss goals are met – set fitness goals.

One final comment on your comment: That 95% thing just keeps getting passed around without questions. That’s funny. It is also true for that old chestnut: drink 8 glasses of water a day! There is no scientific evidence for that, that I can find. Somebody just made it up.

Keep up the good work and don’t be afraid to be afraid – it just means you are conscious.

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Mia • October 16, 2007 at 6:46 pm

Go, PQ! Go, PQ!

I need to put this one on the damn frig. (very motivating, thanks!)

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origamifreak • October 16, 2007 at 8:40 pm

Amen to Debbi’s sentiments. You’ve got to do this for YOU, regardless if anyone else gives you an “attaboy!” or not.

It IS friggin’ hard to maintain a major loss. I didn’t manage it. But if I’d at least tried harder to fight the weight creep, maybe my injured knee wouldn’t be so arthritic now. Maybe I’d be stronger and healthier now. Being able to enjoy mobility and health later in life is what it’s about. That’s the reward. It’s not glamorous, but it’s a big one.

G.G.: You crack me up! :-)

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Sayre • October 16, 2007 at 9:01 pm

Have you or someone written a forward for your book yet? Because I think it might be this post – an honest introduction to the idea of being afraid to succeed in something you really, really want. I think it’s much more common than you realize. I would love to succeed, but it seems so far away that my real fear is failing before I even get close. Like I can’t even wave at success or see it with binoculars. This is true of people with lots to lose and people with not so much to lose.

BTW, I pre-ordered your book. I was a little disappointed that it won’t be available until May, but good things are worth waiting for – and I’m making the arrival of your book my goal for meeting goal!

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Cindy • October 16, 2007 at 10:37 pm

Hi PQ,

Great post… fear of failure has ruled my life, at times, followed closely by fear of success. I “plateaued” last March/April, with 20-30 pounds left to lose, after losing 135 pounds. I am still “maintaining” my loss, but I’ve made no further progress. I was just saying to a friend the other day how incredibly HARD it is to keep working this hard, only to simply maintain. I was glad to see that you posted on this, but I cannot find the resolve that you have found to fight this with such vigor. I am tired… tired of fighting, of working this hard, of trying to figure out who I am in this new body/world. And i am so afraid of gaining it all back. It makes me fear pushing myself to lose the last bit—the straw that broke the camel’s back kind of thing… would it push me over the edge and back up the scale? And I DO fear regaining, just like the “statistics” say. One, because i don’t want to live the way I used to… And two, I HATE to think that “THEY” are right. And even if they are right, I don’t want to be one of the gainers. I don’t want to give “THEM” the satisfaction! I am stubborn, which is one thing I have going for me. So I’ll be thinking over this post and trying to find the will to push through this last bit (“Bit.” I use that term loosely…).

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barbara • October 16, 2007 at 10:53 pm

Great post. I have been maintaining at about 15 pounds from goal for a long time, and I vacillate betweeen thinking I am afraid to succeed… and just thinking that, hey, to get those last 15 pounds off will take MORE work, HARDER work, a greater effort, and the fact is that I may not be afraid to fail, I may just be unwilling to do more than I do now, and there’s nothing more to it than that: I’m not willing to eat less and/or exercise more and/or make any other changes. Period. I really don’t know which one it is, and I find it difficult to know whether I’m being honest about where I am in my head.

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Drana Banana • October 17, 2007 at 1:33 am

Well–I’d like to just say, sometimes its a good thing to hover (aka-maintain!) around a certain weight for a few weeks, or months, or whatever. I think sometimes people lose weight so fast that there comes a certain point where your body says..”hold ON a second!” Kind of like the relationship between mother and child. The child (you) is running around wanting to do EVERYTHING and see EVERYTHING, and mother (your body), which controls the purse strings and ultimately makes the final decision for anything child wants to do, needs a break for just a few moments (or weeks- for the purpose of this example). Mother is perfectly willing to continue chasing after child, but she needs a break for a little while, a breather, and then she will be just as excited and gung ho as she was when they started out for the day. Does this make sense?

Like someone else said earlier–maintaing is REALLY about actually paying attention to what you eat, drink, and how your body reacts. For example–my favorite food in the whole world is the potato, and anything made with potato, especially mashed, or fried, or baked, in a salad…I should just go back to –ANYTHING made with potato. However, I know for a fact, that if I am losing weight consistently, doing the right things everyday, with my output greater than input, all I have to do to halt movement on a scale for the next several days, is eat (and this IS true–I tested it) HALF an average sized baked potato. Now–to me, this is crazy, half a baked potato does not put me over for the day in caloric intake, and its my favorite food which makes it that much worse. Ugh! But thats me. My next experiment will be with rice, but you get my point, paying attention to your own body is very important.

Lastly—emotionally—its a bummer that its so hard to get to that ‘healthy’ mind and thoughts “you”. But hey–for a lot of us, if it was easy to get to that point, we probably wouldnt be overweight in the first place, so enough complaining about how hard it is. I personally wish I could ‘vote’ away the issue of emotional health for any number of people I know and dont know, but like weight loss, its a personal choice, and yet another aspect of our lives where we will HAVE to push ourselves. Those of us who like to push ourselves will get to that great place, those who dont wont.

Im so happy that you are where you are. I dont come onto this site very often, really only every once in a while, every few months, but I always do come back. Its nice to see other people out there succeeding, and I for one, cannot wait until I get to see you IRL (sort of) when you make your appearance on Oprah. You know she’ll be calling you soon!

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Layla • October 17, 2007 at 2:23 am

Heard about you at Blogher and thought of you when I read this post over at the Purse Forum–a woman on a journey similar to yours in terms of weight lost and when she started: http://forum.purseblog.com/health-and-fitness/i-reached-my-goal-225-pounds-lost-pics-178724.html#post3790223

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K • October 17, 2007 at 6:42 am

Yes! I do this too. Of course. (And not just about weightloss… I have difficulty finishing other things, too, such as pieces of writing, because if I finish them, that means it’s the best I can do, and what if people don’t like the best I can do? Stupid, isn’t it…)

I can also relate to wondering why the laws of physics don’t seem to be operating correctly… although sadly it’s usually the other way round for me (“I was good all week and I gained a pound?!?”) I find that to be the biggest sapper of motivation there is.

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BrightAngel • October 17, 2007 at 10:45 am

I’ve been maintaining my large weight loss for the past 21 months, and found that it takes just as much work as the initial weight-loss.

My success comes from continuing to closely moniter my food intake every day, to continue my daily exercise, AND

My weight goal is 115 lbs. However, it is impossible for me to be in the same pound range all the time. Therefore, I’ve set myself a “maintenance weight range”, between 115 and 105, and I gain and lose weight inside that range. I can’t post a link here, but if you can get there, this is the where to find the graphic.

http://www.pcollins.com/upload/DP-Goal/range.gif

The range is very personal, and Pasta Queen, you might choose your range to be 165 to 155, or you might choose a smaller range. My weight tends to bounce a lot due to salt/water/waste, and I can have a 5 to 8 lb bounce up on a 3-day weekend of a “normal person’s” eating. This recedes quickly when I return to my “low-cal” way of eating.

I don’t have a “blog”, but I actively participate in the Diet Power monthly challenge forum, and my monthly log is available on or near page 1 of them all for the past few years. As you approach maintenance, you might want to review my past and present efforts there. You will find a very through and possibly helpful history there. My user name there is pcollins.

To see these efforts, go to dietpower.com; then go to forums; then go to challenges. There is one every month.

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dietgirl • October 17, 2007 at 12:21 pm

HONESTLY if I hear that 95% stat one more time I shall go on a murderous rampage.

fabby post, PQ :)

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coraspartan • October 17, 2007 at 12:44 pm

PQ, you like concrete “if X then Y” statements? Here ya go: if you eat 3500 calories and do not burn them off, you will gain 1 pound. Clearly you did not eat 3500 calories’ worth of chili that you did not burn off, therefore you did not gain a pound. There’s your X = Y!

I am personally one of those people who goes with the weight range theory. If I am within what I have deemed to be my acceptable weight range (for me, it’s 136-142), then I continue to eat and exercise as I normally do. If my weight goes above the acceptable range, I watch my food intake more closely, journal my food, and exercise more. It works well.

You SHOULD go for your goal weight! I know you can do it! Here’s to getting there soon!

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Sheryl • October 19, 2007 at 7:36 am

Maybe you could set your goal weight for 155, and then you’d always have to lose that last 5 pounds :o) Seriously though, is there that much magic in a number? I mean, sure it will fell great to get there, but I would think it would be more about not feeling squished on an airplane seat, being able to bend over and tie your shoes, and staving off innumerable health consequences. Those are all amazing goals you’ve already reached.

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Cylia • October 31, 2007 at 4:12 pm

This hits home for me even though my goal is a ways off! Great post as always!!!!

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog JenFul.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

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The Making of CHOCOLATE & VICODIN
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Half-Marathon: Less fun than it looks
European Vacation

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