I think your honesty helped you change your life. You were able to face what you needed to change.

I have to remind myself that I gained a lot of weight, but it’s in the past (hakuna matata anyone?). I sometimes cringe at old photos, but be forgiving of the reasons why I became morbidly obese. The more I bash myself, the less likely I am to work at changing.

Thank you so much for your honesty in your blog. Makes me think alot ;)

What you’ve accomplished is amazing and inspirational, and many readers will be able to relate to you simply on the strength of your actions. But I think you need to give credit to yourself where credit is due. Somehow, somewhere, you found the strength to turn self-indulgence (the voice that said it was OK to eat that third helping of ice cream) into self-control (the voice that says you will not eat another piece of candy because other things matter more to you) and self-regard (you want these other things and feel you are worthy of them). This dynamic may not be at play when you’re 20 pounds overweight, but I absolutely believe it is an essential part of losing as much weight as you’ve lost. You haven’t just remade your habits and your body; you’ve remade your mind and heart, whether you acknowledge it or not.

I believe that until you find that story and tell it, you’re not really writing the book that deserves to be written about what you’ve done. And that would be a pity, because what you’ve done is conquer the most malevolent enemy and most caustic critic those of us who are extremely overweight ever encounter: the one in the mirror.

PQ – Don’t worry, Joyce. The book has several stories that detail how screwed up my fat made me :) Also, I didn’t mean to imply I didn’t have some emotional issues (though I probably did imply that), just that they’re not the only reason I became fat.

I mean, that is of course technically true — you didn’t move enough and ate too much. And likely it’s a healthy, practical-minded, can-do way of looking at issues with your weight. But … getting close to 4 bills in your early 20s? How come that doesn’t happen to every careless college student who eats pizza and beer and ice cream and mac & cheese when and where-ever they want? How come everyone doesn’t pack on hundreds of pounds by eating an extra 1300 cals a week?

I think the answer might be that a lot of people just DON’T get those extra 1300 cals in each and every week, because they don’t feel hungry for them. I think you might have been born with or developed a significantly larger appetite than most (seconds and thirds at the ice cream bar following sizzler buffet? many people wouldn’t have room!). The feeling of “full” apparently comes from nerves in your small intestine that get triggered as food passes from stomach — they say bulimics sometimes have that process delayed/damaged, causing them to be able to ingest massive quantities without feeling full.

So, i think it’s legit to say that you felt a desire to eat the whole sleeve of cookies, or the whole batch of brownies, whereas your less fat peers, for example, never or rarely felt that impulse. That doesn’t make you some lazy hedonist, but it does mean that lack of awareness about how many calories you’re eating would hit you harder than most.

So, what you are saying might be akin to saying, “I was an alcoholic because I loved drinking” or “I was a coke fiend because I loved getting high on coke.” Sure, that’s probably true, but some people have a weakness for their addiction of choice that simply goes way beyond other peoples, and it’s not just a function of “I enjoy it more.”

PQ – It’s definitely a possibility. I know one of my biggest problems has always been portion control. It’s VERY hard for me to stop eating until I feel full and as a lot of people know it takes about 10-15 minutes after you’re actually full for your body to feel full. I can cram a lot of overeating into those 10-15 minutes if I don’t tell myself to STOP! Maybe my brain is wired differently. The funny thing about the theory that I’m biologically different is that is commonly used as a theory as to why people can’t lose weight. So if I am genetically different, I guess I’m proof that your genes are not your destiny. And if I’m not genetically different, I’m proof that you can indeed get very fat by eating a lot.