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Star Jones and the constellation of shame

Star Jones recently wrote an article for Glamour magazine where she admits she had weight-loss surgery. For foreigners and people who do not pray at the altar of the cathode ray tube, Star Jones is an American television personality and former prosecutor who is best known for co-hosting a morning talk show called The View for almost 10 years. She was morbidly obese, but lost a lot of weight about three years ago. She was very evasive whenever asked about how she’d done it and sort of implied she’d done it through diet and exercise, but many people guessed she’d had weight-loss surgery.

I’m not really a Star Jones fan. When she got married, she pimped products on The View in exchange for free services and products at her wedding. When the show decided not to renew her contract last year, they gave her the option of making up a reason for why she was leaving. Instead, she ambushed her co-hosts one morning on live TV by unexpectedly mentioning her exit. The situation descended into nasty remarks and gossip fodder. I never liked that she wouldn’t say what she had done to lose weight. I don’t think weight-loss surgery is anything to be ashamed of and if this whole diet and exercise thing hadn’t worked out for me, I would have seriously considered it. It seemed sad that she wasn’t using her national platform to help eliminate some of the shame that comes with this procedure.

So, I never minded when people beat up on Star because I thought she deserved it. I didn’t have a blinding white hatred for her, but I did wish she’d just go away. Now after reading her article, I feel oddly sympathetic for the woman. Sure, she spouts the usual fat girl clichés like “food never judged me.” I’d really love it if someone marketed a line of ice cream that really did judge you, just because I think that would be hilarious in a dark and twisted way just like those fortune cookies with messages like “I peed in your soup.” But she also says this:

I was scared of what people might think of me. I was afraid to be vulnerable, and ashamed at not being able to get myself under control without this procedure.

When I see loud, opinionated people on TV, it’s easy to think they’re obstinate jerks who don’t have feelings that can be hurt. But this sentence made me think of Anne who has been blogging so eloquently about her own weight loss surgery at Body of Work and how she didn’t even tell her own mother that she’d had the procedure, until six months after surgery. If Anne was afraid to tell a member of her own family who loved her unconditionally, it’s hard to imagine what Star Jones must have felt about having to tell the whole freakin’ country. I kept this blog a complete secret for the first nine months I was writing it. I never even told my family about it, they just found it. My fat issues made me feel vulnerable too, and I can’t really fault Star Jones for not wanting to discuss her deep-seated emotional problems with her fat with a hundred million strangers.

I also never thought I’d have to explain it. I actually thought that I could say, “None of your business,” and people would say, “OK, she wants to remain private.”

Star Jones may have asked for a career on television and she might be a fame whore, but I don’t recall her ever asking to be our big, fat “fat” idol. I always disliked how she was so evasive about how she lost weight and I wished she had just held the line and said, “None of your business.” I was surprised to read that quote in her article and realize that’s how she wanted to go about it too. The media made it basically impossible. Because we do want to know how she did it. We are nosy and make comments about Nicole Richie’s rib cage and joke that she should eat a hamburger, but was also get pissed when people call Kate Winslet fat, even though it’s just the flip side of the same body-obsessed coin. Heads or tails. When in reality, her body really is her own business. She shouldn’t have to talk about it if she doesn’t want to just like Kelly Clarkson shouldn’t have to keep telling people she’s a healthy weight, God damn it.

I was also terrified someone would have a tragic result after emulating me without making an informed decision with her doctor.

I get a lot of people asking me what I eat or how much I exercise and I’m always very hesitant to answer them. I sometimes wonder if I should even tell people that I basically follow the South Beach Diet. I’m not a doctor and I’m not a nutritionist and I think everyone has to find something that works for their particular life and body, which is probably not going to be the South Beach Diet and Pilates for everyone. Thankfully, I haven’t heard of anyone dying on the South Beach Diet or killing themselves while attempting to do the Teaser. People do die from weight-loss surgery, so I understand why Star Jones would be concerned about how her decision might influence other people. I doubt that was the biggest reason she lied for so long, but I can’t completely ignore it either.

I’m still not a Star Jones fan, and I wish she’d just been upfront about the whole thing from the beginning. But I’m glad she’s finally admitted to having weight-loss surgery. It seems like a big personal step for her and I know there are lots of people who have similar feelings of shame about the procedure, so maybe her revelation will help them overcome that as well. Also, considering how many people still hate her even after she made the revelation, it seems kind of brave since she was basically damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. After lying for so long she put herself in a no-win situation and exhausted most of the sympathy anyone might have for her.

While I still reserve the right to think Star Jones is annoying, she is still in fact human, no matter how many people joke about her looking like a bobble-head doll. When I was at BlogHer is was so strange seeing “famous” bloggers walking around. There was Annalee Newitz who writes for Wired. And there was Amy Sedaris who even my mom thinks is hilarious on David Letterman. But at the “Blog to Book” panel Annalee Newitz was just sitting on the floor Indian style in her jeans like a college student and at the craft panel Amy Sedaris mentioned that she dripped tacky glue all over the carpet of her hotel room. So it occurred to me that, hey, they might be famous, but they are just people too. I admit, I tend to err on the side of forgiveness instead of the side of life-long grudges, simply because it’s a better way for me to live. Maybe I’m being too easy on her, but I’d like to think the best of people whenever possible. It would have been nice if she’d stepped up, but sometimes humans just screw things up and I can forgive Star Jones for being human. Hearing celebrities drone on and on about their weight-loss surgery can be annoying in itself. If I see Carnie Wilson in one more infomerical about gastric bypass, I’m going to dump a protein shake on her head. While I do not miss Star Jone’s presence on my television set at all, she is just a person, and she seems to be just as screwed up and neurotic as any of us. She just doesn’t flaunt her neuroticism on her blog like we do, she spews it all over national television.

I’m still not watching her new show though.

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31 Comments

john • August 2, 2007 at 8:34 am

PastaQueen,

I just wanted to let you know that you have inspired me to make changes in my own life. I can only hope to be half as successful as you.

Thank you

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Heather • August 2, 2007 at 9:19 am

Part of the backlash now for her weight loss surgery is because she was a VOCAL opponent of weight loss surgery back when she was obese.

I hadn’t heard about that, but I guess everyone has a right to change their minds. Perhaps she was so vocal to compensate for the fact that she was ashamed of wanting the surgery, like “The lady doth protest too much.” I think she handled the whole thing terribly, and I totally understand why people hate her, but I’m glad she’s finally coming clean. I can’t bring myself to bitch someone out for finally telling the truth, though I’m not giving her a standing ovation either. – PQ

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RT the fitness guy • August 2, 2007 at 9:23 am

It is a really interesting issue that we have talked at over on Real Women’s Fitness a few times. Women seem to be divided on whether surgery is a good or bad idea.

The issue for many seems to be whether it is becuase you are unhappy with your self or because you are unhealthy. Interesting distinction.

Rt

Sadly, surgery cannot make you happy with yourself. I think a lot of people have the surgery and are still miserable when they’re thin, just more confused because they can’t blame their unhappiness on the fat anymore. – PQ

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Mia • August 2, 2007 at 9:39 am

If my life were in danger, and I felt I didn’t have any options, I’d probably want to have the surgery done, too. I don’t think it’s a very good option, though. I think of the scene from the movie “Supersize Me” and how utterly ridiculous it seems for us (as a nation) to solve weight issues this way.

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Laura • August 2, 2007 at 10:39 am

My thoughts were very similar to yours regarding Star Jones. Way back in the beginning, when she used to only be an expert on court shows as a lawyer, I admired her for her intellect and not being ashamed of being a full figured woman. But as she went on the view and became a bit of a media whore and then was absolutely shameless in the whole wedding debacle I was really starting to get over her. Then when she implied she had lost so much weight so quickly through diet and exercise I wanted to shout from the rooftops “Give me a break? Who do you think you’re fooling?!” Especially for those of us trying SO HARD to lose an ounce the same way. I was glad to see her get off the air, especially the way it ended on the view.

And yet, like you I am a forgiving soul once I understand. Although I do not agree with the way she handled the whole weight loss thing, I totally understand now why she did what she did and I give her credit for coming forward now and admitting it her wrong which is not an easy thing to do. I especially relate to her not wanting to admit she could not do it herself. Oh, I totally get that which is why I keep trying to lose 80+ pounds the good old fashioned way (which is why you are so inspirational, my dear).

I find it all very interesting.

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BrightAngel • August 2, 2007 at 11:02 am

15 years ago at 271 lbs (I’m 5’0″), I had gastric bypass surgery. I chose this action after more than 25 years of yo-yo dieting, with losses and regains of over 100 lbs 3 separate times.

15 years ago, it was still a fairly experimental procedure. It was a “cut open” surgery as it was before lasier surgery became common. I did not have any shortening of the intestine so every calorie is still digested. I chose to do it so it would be physically impossible for me to overeat, as after many years of therapy and dieting I couldn’t succeed at that behavior long-term. It was expensive and very painful…long-term painful…because after surgery, I still often made the choice to overeat…even though it caused very unpleasant physical results. I still am grateful for the surgery, do not regret doing it, and, under the same circumstances, would do it again.

The first year after surgery I lost down to 159 and maintained in the 160s for several years while eating everything my body would tolerate.

Then my body began tolerating more, and I ate more. Now my body can tolerate 3000 to 4000 high-fat dense calories in a day. Eventually I had to work at dieting again to keep my weight down, and at 190 lbs in Sept 2004, I again began serious low-calorie weight-loss efforts and lost to my goal weight of 115 lbs, and have kept that off for the past 18 months. Though careful monitering of my food-intake. I do 1 hr low-impact exercise per day in order to be able to eat my BMR + light activity factor…which for me is about 1430 calories per day. That’s what I get to eat to stay this size. My body will tolerate much more than double that, so it is still takes constant diligence.

Gastric Bypass Surgery was a positive step for me, but not the LifeTime solution that I thought it would be. I’ve learned this is also true for almost everyone. Although stomach size is permanently restricted, it’s only about the first year or so after surgery that one’s body won’t tolerate more food than it burns.

What frustrates and annoys me is the lack of acceptance and understanding by “other fat people” of those who’ve made the drastic choice to have gastric bypass surgery, and the common attitude that somehow people who’ve made that choice “cheated”…and that their subsequent low-calorie eating efforts aren’t difficult, and just as “praiseworthy” as those without surgery. In actuality, those efforts are just as difficult…even with the added factor of physical pain for excessive overeating, and poor food choices.

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JEM • August 2, 2007 at 11:15 am

Very insightful and gracious.

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dg • August 2, 2007 at 12:10 pm

beautifully and graciously said :)

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dg • August 2, 2007 at 12:40 pm

(sorry for the double post! btw, how bloody cool is annalee. i lurrrved her keynote breakfast)

I know! I’ve always liked her tech writings, but it was great seeing her in person. She was so intelligent and confident, yet totallly approachable and quirky. – PQ

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Jenny • August 2, 2007 at 12:53 pm

I felt the same way when I read her comments – she is just another women struggling with body image and weight.

And no, I want watch her show either. Fat or thin, she still annoys me.

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Mary • August 2, 2007 at 3:17 pm

I have to say I admire you, PQ, for posting this blog and sharing all you have. I started a blog more than 2 years ago when I started yet another weight loss program and have yet to make it public.

Of course we all knew Star didn’t just wake up one day with some miraculous answer and start losing weight. I too am disappointed that she hid it for so long and agree with you that I almost wish she had continued to say “none of your business!” And I still don’t like her and won’t watch her show either.

I saw something related to gastric bypass surgery last night on TV that really disturbed me. It was a show about a 500-pound young man who wanted to be a country singer and had the surgery. During one of the recorded post-surgery meetings, his doctor actually said this to him: “Continue to exercise. Drink plenty of water. Eat only when you’re hungry and then only until you’re full.” That was it.

Are you kidding me?? That’s the words of wisdom? I’ve known this since I was 15 years old and hated my body because I didn’t look like all the other girls in high school. More to the point, who is overweight and DOESN’T know these pearls?

I’m a relatively intelligent adult yet I’ve never found the trigger to apply these in my life. I know that this is the key. It doesn’t matter if I’m following South Beach diet or going to Slim 4 Life or using the Weight Watchers points plan. I’m thinking that if this young man could do those things simply because his doctor told him to, he wouldn’t have needed the surgery in the first place, right?

I guess that is the thing about most publicized stories of gastric bypass surgery that disappoint me the most. Don’t you still have to deal with why you don’t only eat when you’re hungry? And why you don’t stop when you’re full? That’s what I’m trying to wrap my head around right now.

Sorry for the rant. And please don’t take this as a rant against weight loss surgery. I know it is an important treatment and for some–a life saving procedure. I don’t feel like I’m there yet, but if I was, I would certainly consider it as an option.

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Kriss • August 2, 2007 at 5:40 pm

I’m happy Star finally came clean . . . but she should have done so years ago. I don’t see her as a role model, nor would she have been a poster child for the surgery (at least not outside of her own mind!).

IMHO, too many people use WLS as a dieting “tool”, having the surgery without *really* considering all the consequences. I’ve talked to people who are happy they had the surgery, and people who wish they’d never had it done.

I’m desperate enough to have the surgery done. But I KNOW cutting me open isn’t going to fix the problems in my own head.

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starbird • August 2, 2007 at 7:05 pm

I’ve wanted to comment about WLS in the past, but now is really the time. On the topic of telling or not telling about your surgery – clearly that is an individual choice. This has become a big issue in the world of opera, since the ‘large Wagnerian mother’ types of singers are not as accepted as they were before.

Soprano Carol Vaness, in a magazine interview, talked about how she had lost weight by walking and going to the gym and being VERY careful about what she ate. Like PQ, she went from being a nice-looking talented woman to a talented, stunning beauty.

Deborah Voigt, also a soprano, OTH, had surgery and also was willing to talk about it. She said she had considered it for years but had been concerned about losing her voice. After determining for herself that the surgery was safe enough for her and no longer experimental, she did it. Again, the results were stunning. And she didn’t lose her voice either.

Now, why is this a big issue for opera? Because many people believe Maria Callas ruined her voice when she dieted off 50 or 100 pounds both for the stage and perhaps for her unfaithful boyfriend.

All the posters above who have mentioned the mental aspects of their weight issues have got it right, IMO, and I wish them all the best.

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kazari • August 2, 2007 at 8:21 pm

It seems to be in the news a lot here in australia (weight-loss surgery, not Star Jones).

We have a comedian here called Mikey Robbins, who has ALWAYS been a big guy. He eventually had surgery, and it’s awe-inspiring how much he’s changed. There was a documentary about him on ‘Australian Story’, (I don’t know if you can find it on the web somewhere). But he and his wife both talked very honestly about the whole thing. I learnt a lot.

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Narelle • August 2, 2007 at 9:10 pm

Weight loss surgery will always be one of those contentious issues. I had weight loss surgery over 3 years ago and will never look back – it was the best thing that I ever did – for my body and mind. The mental issues of weight loss are still there and it is something that I still struggle with every day however the boosts I get on a weekly basis of seeing those numbers slowly creep down (instead of rapidly going up) and the joy of having my clothes get too big for me help compensates (a little) for the negative self talk and other ‘head’ stuff that is involved with weight loss.

I have every admiration for *anyone* who takes on this journey and however they go about losing the weight – we are all winners in the end. I saw the Australia story with Mikey Robbins and it was amazing how much I found myself nodding to what he was saying and agreeing with the thoughts that went through his head. We need people like you PQ (and other bloggers) to help us reaffirm that what we are thinking is ok and normal and to keep going cause one day we will look and feel as sensational as you guys do!!!

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Christy • August 3, 2007 at 1:51 am

It’s funny how a comment or two makes us realize how… real and human people like Star Jones are and can be, and equally sad that she seems to think, rightly, that she would be judged heavily for getting this type of surgery.

WLS can’t fix confidence issues, but neither can diet and exercise. It’s a combination of a lot of things, and whatever healthy steps it takes for an individual to find that for themselves, I’m thrilled they’ve gotten there.

Unfortunately, people don’t seem to realize they need more than surgery or a good diet/fitness plan to feel good about themselves.

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Sarah • August 3, 2007 at 2:54 am

I really loved this post. It’s so easy to forget that celebrities are people too and they have fears, hopes, dreams and wishes just like the rest of us. I’ve been out of the American celebrity loop for quite a while now (I actually don’t know if I was ever actually in the loop to begin with to be honest) so I don’t really know about Star.

I do know that it’s east to get caught up in the story that the media feeds you of their (celebrity)lives. You have to remeber that we only get to see the parts that the media choses to recognize. So if the media wants a person to be a scoundrel or an idiot or a party girl then take a few pictures, chuck the good ones away, plaster the rotten ones all over your magazine and voila! There’s your idiot or drunk or whatever. You only get to see the brief snipets that happen in the few minutes of these celebrities days. It’s remebering that other 23.5 hours of the day that this person spent with their family, gardening, reading, showering, eating, doing every day ordinary things that is difficult for the average Joes to think about when all the gossip is in their face daily.

Great post.

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fatfu • August 3, 2007 at 6:53 am

Yeah, I never had a problem with Star Jones’ silence. I think everybody basically understood that she’d had WLS, and she didn’t seem to be trying to deceive, just not talking about it. If she’d been talking about her willpower or endorsing a diet plan, then I might have had an issue.

And now that you remind me, I remember her saying early on that she didn’t want to influence other people’s choices, and I remember thinking that that was a reasonable decision given the risks.

Actually the only time I ever doubted that it was WLS was when I heard her interviewed and she had such shortness of breath I wondered if it might not have been some kind of illness, and she was letting people think that it was WLS because she didn’t want people to know about the illness.

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Chubette • August 3, 2007 at 7:55 am

A beloved friend of mine died in 2005 nine months after WLS. He had lost nearly 160 pounds. It was too much for his heart and he died in his car in front of his house of a massive heart attack. His decision to have WLS was an act of desperation. He wanted to reclaim his body and his life and he saw this as a last resort. I will miss him every day for the rest of my life.

I try not to judge anyone but Star has made it tough going. It is an insult to the rest of us who struggle with the overeating and weight and all the accompanying mental and emotional baggage when someone on national TV rapidly dumps over half their body mass and makes flip remarks that it was diet and exercise. If you chooe to earn your living by having your mug on TV everyday shooting your mouth off about your personal “views” the very least you owe the viewing public is honesty. Star can kiss my fat as.

I’ve never been clear as to what she said about how she lost the weight. Did she say it was diet and exercise or did she just skirt the topic? And I’m very sorry about your friend, Chubette. – PQ

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Heather • August 3, 2007 at 9:50 am

Pastaqueen — she said it was sensible diet and PILATES.

So, if some of us would just stop gorging and do some pilates, we’d be fine. ;) (That’s frustrating to me as a 25 lb overweight marathon runner)

Playing devil’s advocate here, it’s possible she did eat sensibly, did pilates AND had the WLS. Not mentioning the WLS while mentioning the other stuff is a lie of omission and purposely misleads the audience, but a lie of omission is probably something a lawyer is more comfortable with since they deal with those technical details of “the truth” on a daily basis. So yeah, she definitely did wrong, but I’m still going to give her props for finally coming clean – PQ

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Mymsie • August 3, 2007 at 11:56 am

Funny you’re blogging about this – my friends and I talked about it yesterday. I sent them the article and said I was glad Star finally fessed up. I think it’s important for people to hear about her struggles and understand her motives.

I also think it’s great that she said “I was scared of what people might think of me. I was afraid to be vulnerable, and ashamed at not being able to get myself under control without this procedure.” Many overweight people (including myself) carry a tremendous amount of shame and unfortunately our society is very intolerant of weight issues. It’s a safe prejudice.

I wish Star would’ve admitted to having WLS earlier but I can’t imagine how overwhelmed she must’ve felt and unsure about how to handle the situation.

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Mae • August 3, 2007 at 12:03 pm

OMG – she really does look like a bobble head doll. I hadn’t heard that before, and it’s an awful thing to say… but it’s sorta true.

I find her endlessly annoying. I really do… everyone *knew* she had wls – no one loses weight that fast without some sort of surgery and/or liquid diet, and we all saw what happened with Oprah when she did the liquid diet and got super skinny… it doesn’t last this long.

I would love to give SJR the benefit of the doubt… but part of me, call it the highly cynical part, believes she enjoyed all the “how’d she do it?” press and publicity… because let’s face it, you called it right – the woman is a media whore, and by the time she had WLS, Carnie Wilson and Al Roker had made it old news. She’d not have gotten nearly the level of attention if she’d have just said what she did… and yet, she refused and I believe on several occasions, even denied having surgery.

Now, in her real life, she might be a very pleasant, lovely woman… but she’s chosen her path, as far as her fame goes, and I think when you choose to be loud and in-your-face, you have to expect this. I find celebs who say, oh, I thought I could keep this private so insincere. There are celebrities who live very private lives… I mean, Nicole Kidman has been through hell with Tom Cruise suddenly leaving her, and her new man in rehab four months after the wedding, and yet… in general, despite her mega fame, she keeps a very low profile (unlike her ex). Now, maybe in Australia, she’s more like some other celebs here… but she’s not the only example. When was the last time you saw Marcia Gay Harden in the tabloids?

Celebrities make choices… often not the best ones. And some are certainly more targeted by others, and I do feel a certain sense of sadness for what they give up, what they sacrifice. I especially feel for their children… but, you can’t run around with a big mouth about everything and anyone and then expect the world to be satisfied when you say “no comment” on something that the media is as obsessed with as weight, either. It’s not realistic… and Star Jones is a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. Which is why I can’t help but believe this is a publicity stunt, and has been all along. The book is probably next.

I think the timing is DEFINITELY on purpose. She’s got a new show coming out soon and this story brings her name into the news cycle again. I agree with you that she probably had self-centered reasons for keeping the secret and getting the praise, but I believe she felt vulnerable too. It was probably a mix of the two. – PQ

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JJ • August 3, 2007 at 1:31 pm

Star Jones made me, personally, angry. It wasn’t about how or if she lost the weight… it was how easy she made it look. By getting weight loss surgery, a viable option, she lost a ton of weight reasonably fast. She then told the world (or implied to the world) that she did it with diet and exercise and pretty much never broke a sweat. She was so out about the quick weight loss, but would never admit that she did take the easier route. She showed up to every public event she could with cropped tops and skinny jeans… smiling and condemning her old fat self without ever once admitting she didn’t owe it all to herself. That not only throws a big f* you to the fat community, but it also tells the rest of the world that if we just stopped eating so damn much we’d be skinny quick too. We’re all just fat gluttons who don’t want to get on a treadmill once a week.

That being said, I loooove your blog. Keep up the good work. Wanna link?

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Laura • August 3, 2007 at 3:27 pm

Very gracious post, PQ.

I wanted to tell you how ADORABLE you look in the BlogHer pictures I’ve seen on other’s websites. You are so cute! Love the look without your glasses. And congrats on another 3 pounds down in July. That’s awesome.

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sarah • August 3, 2007 at 7:39 pm

I can’t judge people for what they have done to lose weight but it always makes me feel sad for them because you CAN lose the weight if you want to. Yet one of my closest friends is over 400 pounds and I know that they only way she is going to lose any weight is via surgery. It’s very hard for some and easier for others (to give up the food).

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the veggie paparazzo • August 4, 2007 at 2:51 pm

I have only heard snippets of her Glamour article, but I think she came across as more real in that than she has in anything else I’ve ever heard about her.

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Katie • August 4, 2007 at 4:25 pm

Huh. I’m kinda stumped. As an obese person who has lost about 30 lbs with diet and exercise since this past New Year’s,(while still remaining obese, mind you, just less so) I find it really difficult not to judge WLS as a quick & easy option. That said, I’ve been plateauing for months now, and even though I’m running, I’m more fit, have muscles I never knew about, and feel great, I REALLY WISH there were an easier way to get this thing going again, and would consider it if I were a bit larger and less successful with the diet, etc.

PQ, I admire your tolerance because I can’t stand Starr Jones (fat or thin — she’s just grating) and I’m also aware that WLS is the best option for some people. Still… it just bugs me when I see someone not even try any other means to that end. I don’t know what SJ did or did not do, and I agree that she has as much right to privacy as anybody else. I DO know a former colleague (I switched jobs about two months ago) who was preparing to undergo surgery when I left the old job. As you’d expect, she was a big girl — I’d guess around 300 lbs or so — and she was pretty open about what she’d have to do – a month of liquid diet before, then after, etc. The thing that bugged me about it was that I never once heard her mention exercise, or saw her eat anything that was considered remotely healthy — it was all McDonald’s and fried chinese food and chocolate. And while all of that is her decision, it makes me kind of sad that she just underwent invasive surgery that could potentially kill her, rather than make an effort to change in other ways.

So, I recently checked in with another former colleague, who reported that our friend has had the surgery, and “has the appetite of a bird”. But guess what filled her up? “She ate two chicken mcnuggets and three french fries and was full, like thanksgiving full”. I can’t help it, but I feel like the availability of this procedure puts some people in a really dangerous position, where they think it’s a quick fix and that they can be the same old way, just eating a little less. I’m seriously concerned for my friend, because of the possibility that she won’t get the right nutrients and will eventually get seriously ill, if a lot thinner. And that’s why I’m not down with people like SJ walking around in their crop tops and looking all skinny, because everyone might start thinking that’s the best way for them.

I know that it’s judgmental as hell and that the existence of the procedure really is a lifesaving miracle for a lot of people, but I can’t help feeling it.

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Debbie • August 4, 2007 at 5:25 pm

I’ve known a lot of people who don’t want to admit how they lost weight. Especially in the beginning, a lot of people don’t want to admit to even being on a diet because they may not get to goal. Maybe Star was afraid she wouldn’t be able to keep it off and didn’t want people judging her for how she lost the weight in the first place.

I really don’t know. I just believe that she’s entitled to her privacy about weight loss just like the rest of us.

It’s a topic a lot of people feel vulnerable about. I think that’s why a lot of people try not to talk about it too much. It’s so easy to be criticized about weight loss no matter what you do.

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Sarah • August 5, 2007 at 10:53 am

What happened the links at the side to other blogs? Will they be back? I got lazy…and would always start at yours and start jumping from there! wa wa wa. (just kidding.. I can track most of them down). thanks for everything you do for us.

Sarah – I just made a Blogroll page with a note at the bottom that explains why I’ve made the change. I was just going to get rid of the blogroll completely, but it’s probably a good idea to keep the list of links around if other people do the same thing you do. – PQ

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jae • August 6, 2007 at 12:41 am

OK, you know what?? Are you tryin to make me hate you?? Even though I really couldn’t but I’ve checked here for an update for days now and none. Are you out livin’ life with your fab new body??? Well, I guess I’ll check back later just incase you are indeed ready to come back and settle down and post something! Hrmph! :) ~j

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Denny • August 6, 2007 at 7:35 pm

Guess what PQ…you are famous! I’m guessing there’s thousands of people that read your blog now. I wonder what the comment:number-of-readers ratio is? I’m in Tasmania, and I have a group of friends that read your blog (we love it!). When your book comes out, you’ll be even more famous. But I won’t eat cockroaches for you…

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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