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Not a pretty girl?

Crap, I think I may be pretty.

I’ve never thought of myself as an ugly person, but I was never gorgeous either. The only time I’ve stopped traffic was the week I had crossing guard duty in 4th grade. I’m pretty sure the cars would have halted at the stop sign anyway, even if I hadn’t run into the street in my orange fluorescent jacket waving my big red octagon on a stick. I certainly think fat people can be beautiful, but I was ever one of them. I was homely, probably because I stayed at home a lot. In high school I’d never heard of the diffuser attachment for the blow dryer, nor did I use any anti-frizz sprays, so there may have been swallows nesting in my bushy hair and I wouldn’t have known it. I had braces. I wore glasses since second grade, but I never wore make-up. I was not a pretty girl, but that was okay. I had many other fine qualities and I didn’t care that much about how I looked anyway.

But I was looking at some of the photos from my Chicago trip, and I have got to admit that my skin looks kind of radiant. My hair is swept back and mussed in a lovely way, like I’m standing in front of a wind fan on the set of a photo shoot. Even my teeth look good.

Whenever I see commercials for weight loss products I am usually cynical about the before and after photos. The “before” photo always looks like it was taken in a dark closet after the subject finished draping their bed linens as a toga. The “after” photo is on a beach in perfectly tailored clothes and the loser has a spiffy new haircut. Those people didn’t need to lose weight to look better, they just needed a makeover. When I started taking my progress photos I wanted to be as objective as possible, which is why I always take them from the same angle with the same expressionless look on my face with my hair pulled back. I don’t look that happy, but I do look consistent. No trick photography here. But when I look at photos of me now and me three years ago, I made a frightening realization. I too have undergone the fat girl makeover.

I have the spiffy new haircut. I ditched the glasses. My skin is not so much vampire pale as alabaster with a healthy rose tint. (Or maybe that’s the contrast setting on my monitor.) I “cleaned up.” After all those years of criticizing before-and-after photos for changing someone’s appearance in ways other than their weight, here I went and did it myself. I have lost all credibility in this matter. I don’t know what anyone else thinks, nor do I care all that much, but I think I’m pretty.

It’s hard to admit it, but I think I should have ditched my glasses years ago. They were so familiar for so long and I never liked the inconvenience of contact lenses, yet I like the way I look without my frames so much better. I guess I was never able to see that before. Literally. And my hair. Dear Lord, what the hell was up with my hair? I hope gardening implements were involved. No competent hair stylist should take credit for that cut. It’s better left to blame the gardener. I just look happier too, like I no longer resent the fact that there will be photographic evidence of this moment trapped in time. I usually smile without showing my teeth because when I smile on cue with my teeth you can see in my eyes that I don’t mean it, that I’m just smiling for the camera. If you see the thousands of dollars of dental work flash before you, it usually means I’m actually happy. And I’m not just happy because I’m thin, though that is rather awesome. I’m happy because I like my life. The girl with the weed-whacker wig probably couldn’t say the same thing.

I will try not to be too hard on myself for pretty-ing up. It has been almost three years. People change a lot in that amount of time whether they lose half their weight or not. It is not absurd to think I would have changed my hairstyle even if I hadn’t changed my jeans size. I probably would have gotten LASIK even if I was still as big as the laser machine. I doubt I’d be as glowing as I am now though. Defrizzer and facial moisturizer are great beauty products, but nothing sold at the makeup counter makes you glow like contentment.

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78 Comments

adrienne • August 9, 2007 at 9:48 am

Jeanette, you are most definitely pretty.

So pretty in fact, that when you told me you were a weight loss blogger I thought it must be a yo-yo diet blog about 15 or so pounds that you just can’t shake. I, of course, have since learned that was a crazy wrong impression- but as I had just drug my tired butt from a 7 hour car trip- crazy wrong impressions were par for the course.

You’re absolutely lovely, darling. Deal with it… and tell me who cuts your hair.

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vickie • August 9, 2007 at 9:52 am

You look absolutely great – very pretty – very happy – I am glad for you.

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Christina • August 9, 2007 at 9:58 am

Agreed, you are a very pretty girl (calling you a pretty woman sounds weird). I think it’s great that you don’t want to hide behind your hair and glasses anymore, and are comfortable enough with yourself to want to be seen.

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Mary Jean • August 9, 2007 at 10:05 am

You are pretty and I think you found the picture for the back of your book jacket!!!!!

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Amy • August 9, 2007 at 10:13 am

You are beautiful. I have to agree with you, the major difference between these two pictures is not the weight, but the level of contentment. There is no beauty product that is more effective than happiness.

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Rachel • August 9, 2007 at 10:22 am

I’m speechless….you look absolutely gorgeous. Can you bottle your happiness and contentment and sell it? I’m sure there are many of us that could use a little spray here and there.

PQ…you continue to amaze and inspire me. Thank you!

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Annie • August 9, 2007 at 10:22 am

You are not just pretty you are beautiful!

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mrs darling • August 9, 2007 at 10:32 am

You are very pretty!! Not only pretty but you are sorta cutish! You’re so lucky you did this when you were young! Your skin is so much more elastic and you have all of life to enjoy the new bod! I totally envy you! I want to lose about 90 pounds. I bought the SB book yesterday and I’m going to just do it finally!

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Deborah • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

PQ- I am amazed at your progress! I have been reading your blog for about a month now. I look forward to what you are going to say next. You are a beautiful person/ inside as well as out! I can see your contentment. To be able to look at your own picture and like what you see is such a wonderful thing. I have gone for years not having my picture taken. I can look in the mirror and catch glimpses of the girl I want to be but you can see her all over you! You go girl!

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Kalyn • August 9, 2007 at 10:47 am

You look fantastic. You’re going to look great on TV promoting that book!

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Marla • August 9, 2007 at 10:49 am

You look gorgeous, girlie. And thanks for the handbag positioning tip.

p.s. I have that exact same sweater you’re wearing in the “before” photo.

Ah yes, it’s from the Lane Bryant collection of either 2003 or 2004. I also had the blue one. They were nice. Too bad they didn’t shrink with me. – PQ

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Têtue • August 9, 2007 at 10:49 am

Mrrrrow! You look AWESOME! You’re such an inspiration to all us fat girls out there!!!

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Laura • August 9, 2007 at 10:55 am

Just look at the quiet confidence and happiness. Indeed, it gives all inspiration to keep going and fighting the fat war within.

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Katharine • August 9, 2007 at 10:55 am

You’re gorgeous. The heart shape of your face really shows now, and it’s adorable. Major congrats on all your hard work paying off so well.

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melsky • August 9, 2007 at 11:03 am

You look great! Though I have to say I also like your long hair. I used to have hair like that and now that I have lost weight I’m wearing my hair much shorter because I don’t feel like I need to hide my 3 chins behind cascading hair – I’m down to my last chin and a half.

I’ve been thinking about the eye surgery also and would be interested on your perspective of life without glasses. I think that glasses are something that I have been kind of hiding behind too.

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Laura • August 9, 2007 at 11:31 am

You are SO adorable. It’s awesome how positive you feel about yourself.

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elasticwaist • August 9, 2007 at 11:40 am

Gotta agree. PQ is Pretty Darn Cute.

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Kate • August 9, 2007 at 11:54 am

I have the distinct memory of telling you that you look like a supermodel in the first blogher picture I saw. So take THAT, PQ. You might be gorgeous, but I’M a trendsetter.

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Meg • August 9, 2007 at 11:58 am

You look fabulous!!!

“nothing sold at the makeup counter makes you glow like contentment.” So true. Thanks for sharing your story with us–it’s so inspiring to see someone who has been successful!

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PastaQueen • August 9, 2007 at 11:59 am

Thank you, everybody. *blushes* Now people are going to read this thread and think the purpose of this post was to whore for compliments! That wasn’t my intent, but thank you for all the nice comments.

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Ann • August 9, 2007 at 12:23 pm

You look spectacular! And your happiness just shines through the second picture.

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cheddar • August 9, 2007 at 12:25 pm

I also had bushy/frizzy hair, but I was convinced that the best thing was to keep it very short with lots of layers. Now I know that is the worst thing for frizzy hair or at least for mine!

Also, it took me 30 years to find a stylist who wondered why I wasn’t having my hair cut with a texturizer to make it thinner.

Those are great pics. I do like your old lip stick color. Did you ever really drink non-diet pop?

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Elizabeth • August 9, 2007 at 1:08 pm

Dude, you’re gorgeous! And I think it’s great how happy you obviously are and I think it kicks ass that you can say “hey, I’m pretty!”. I’m so sick of all of us women putting ourselves down and criticizing ourselves and being afraid to like ourselves outloud for fear of what others will think. So good for you for refusing to do that. I think it’s awesome that you look good, but I think it’s even more awesome that you aren’t ashamed to say it.

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jae • August 9, 2007 at 1:11 pm

You are so very pretty! Your confidence really is really refreshing. So many of us women are constantly putting ourselves down or hating something about ourselves, but you are so positive and loving to yourself. You are a true role model to all women everywhere. ~j

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Marianne • August 9, 2007 at 1:15 pm

This gives me the warm fuzzies in a big way. You look great, PQ!

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Mia • August 9, 2007 at 1:31 pm

All I can think to say is Wow! You’re amazing! You look beautiful. Good for you, PQ!

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Chubby Mommy • August 9, 2007 at 2:19 pm

Yep, you’re definitely pretty! Your skin also looks amaaaazing!

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Kimberly • August 9, 2007 at 2:57 pm

I don’t think your pictures fall into the cheesey before-after shots category at all. I mean, you aren’t scowling in a black and white photo in the before shot, after all. And you look like a “real”, albeit astonishingly pretty, gal in the after shot. I think you should be proud. =)

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Debbi • August 9, 2007 at 2:59 pm

I know you weren’t fishing for compliments when you posted this. You’re just not that kinda girl! But you *soooooo* deserve them.

My opinion is that your glow is definitely radiating from the inside out. I think I’m going to print your then-and-now pictures and hang them on my refrigerator for inspiration. It’s so much more motivating to see a real person – someone I sort of know and hope to meet someday – make the transition.

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Lesley • August 9, 2007 at 3:07 pm

Yes, very pretty and you should be pretty damn proud too. What a transfrmation.

It’s weird now you come to mention it but I’ve just realised that I too used to have bushy long brown curlyish hair when I was fat – now I’ve lost 114lbs, it’s jaw length, shaped, swept back – not disimilar to yours in fact! It’s the Fat Girl Makeover II (don’t worry – I’m not stalking you – I live in England!).

I believe I also sport the PQ patented look of quiet contentment too! Bliss eh?

Lesley x

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Riley & Tiki's Mom • August 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

I am picturing you flitting around the house singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty ….” Of course, you are pretty, but the important part is that YOU believe it. Others can say you’re pretty, but that glow and the smile on your face shows that you are happy and that your FEEL pretty.

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Jen • August 9, 2007 at 4:01 pm

This is my first comment! You really do look amazing!

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Christy • August 9, 2007 at 4:19 pm

You can’t fake that look of contentment, whether it takes losing 10 lbs to be a healthy weight or half of your old body weight. You look great, but what I love the most is how obvious it is that that appearence is very influenced by how you *feel.*

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starbird • August 9, 2007 at 5:30 pm

Agree w/all the other posters – your inner beauty now shines outwardly as well. Some observations:

You have a very evident ‘widow’s peak’ above your forehead in your ‘before’ picture that doesn’t show up in the other one. At one time, those peaks were considered the very peak of beauty. I hope yours is still there!

Also, I’ve noticed that hair responds positively to attention (washing, brushing, braiding) and contentment, even when it hasn’t seen a stylist in years.

Final comment: I’m finding that raising my rib cage as I walk has improved my posture – something I was trying and failing to do with all kinds of complicated actions – “tuck in your hips, hold your stomach in, throw your shoulders back…” yada, yada, yada.

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Jenny • August 9, 2007 at 5:41 pm

This actually made me cry – to see the hard work, to see such a transformation – Bravo!

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A Happy Wife • August 9, 2007 at 5:59 pm

You were lovely before; gorgeous fair skin and wild gypsy hair, but your eyes seem deeply sad and don’t have much sparkle to them in the before photo. I think that’s the biggest difference in those two photos. It’s not really that you’re more beautiful now that you’re thin. You were beautiful before. But now, you are just so obviously in love with life and full of energy. You glow with good health and happiness. I hope you always maintain that sparkle, that glow of contentment and loving who you are & what your life is about!

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Julie • August 9, 2007 at 7:43 pm

Love the fashionista blouse, the gorgeous color, your easy smile and as others have noted, your quiet confidence. Really, really pretty.

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Chris H • August 9, 2007 at 8:44 pm

I just don’t get how you can go from that size to where you are now and not need a tummy tuck??? How come??? I sure did!!!! Not fair. You look awesome mate, I can relate to how one’s happiness shows on our faces after losing the weight.

I think that depends on your definition of “need.” There’s definitely loose skin, it just doesn’t bother me that much. – PQ

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isabel • August 9, 2007 at 9:23 pm

Wow Pasta Queen, you look fantastic….I have been reading you blog since I started my weightloss journey back in January of 2005 and you have been both an inspiration and motivation for me. Congratulations Pretty Girl!!!

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jen • August 9, 2007 at 9:41 pm

The pictures are great but you’re prettier in person. :)

Aww, thanks :) – PQ

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KimC • August 9, 2007 at 11:19 pm

Not pretty oh Queen of ours, drop dead gourgeous!

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Patty • August 10, 2007 at 12:54 am

I agree you look beautiful and radiant. I see a big difference in the 2 pics of you. Not just the weight, just the happiness and at ease with yourself.

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Kate H • August 10, 2007 at 1:25 am

Hmmm… maybe you could try this? LOL

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WtpcvNJCUR8

OMG, there is a pole dancer with my Internet handle on YouTube. So weird. And actually, that does look like a lot of fun. Do you think my apartment complex will approve a pole installation in my living room? – PQ

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Lyn • August 10, 2007 at 1:41 am

One thing I do notice about before and after photos that I think is true is the fact that the after photos their smile usually shows teeth while before’s (if by chance they ARE smiling) never show teeth. To me this shows a true happiness rather than a front.

And I see in this example you showed us the above is true yet again.

Thanks for posting … you beautiful girl!!!

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Sra • August 10, 2007 at 1:52 am

Ive noticed you now wear short sleeves- even in the progress pic… Is that a hot chick thing?

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Jen • August 10, 2007 at 4:12 am

Awwwww you look 100 times happier, more than anything else.

And yes, you are pretty, and you look confident and friendly and happy and full of the joys of life in your “after” pic. In your first pic you just look a little uncomfortable, which I remember well.

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Flora • August 10, 2007 at 5:33 am

Your before picture is pretty too, but now you just look radiant.

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lora • August 10, 2007 at 8:40 am

I’ve always agreed about those before and after pics too – that they just needed a makeover! But the thing is – as you have learned – confidence exudes beauty – inner beauty that only true contentment can bring! You look fabulous!

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BrightAngel • August 10, 2007 at 9:10 am

You look great Now, AND you were pretty Before.

Of course, thin looks good, but your fat did not totally hide your attractive face then, and you still look like you…just a smaller version.

I found your Negative comments about your longer hair style incorrect for my personal taste. I think your longer hair was attractive, and while you look nice with shorter hair, you also look very good with long hair.

I also, did not find your glasses unattractive, but certainly being able to see without having to wear them during all of your current exercise… especially running…is a Great Plus.

You were pretty then, and you are pretty now.

You were just fatter then.

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Dyan • August 10, 2007 at 9:29 am

Gee! Now almost all of your excuses for not dating are disappearing…

You look great and I love the photo of you and the other bloghers-stunning collarbones!!!

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Evita • August 10, 2007 at 10:10 am

You look fantastic and the good news is you feel fantastic too. Ain’t life grand?

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AKS • August 10, 2007 at 10:22 am

Ha ha, I loved “I was homely, probably because I stayed at home a lot.”

I’m glad you ditched your glasses too. You have really pretty eyes!

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dg • August 10, 2007 at 10:34 am

Ohh wow :) You are a stunner, and the happiness is just beamin out of ya. Good on you for singing about it here too!

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sandy • August 10, 2007 at 12:03 pm

you know what i think the big difference is?! – you look totally inhibited in the first pic and muuccchhh less inhibited in the after. congrats! glad you finally get that you’re pretty:)

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Jancd • August 10, 2007 at 11:07 pm

You are a beautiful girl, before and after. Your hard work has paid off. I had to laugh about the mango and kiwi. Although they are both readily available in Houston, kiwi is probably the easiest to eat. Our school cafeteria serves them as a fruit along with apples, bananas and oranges. I have seen kids just bite right into them, but I prefer the peel them, dirty knife or not. I also know how the cut a mango properly, but still often end up with juice running down my elbow before I have conquered the thing.

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Evang • August 11, 2007 at 2:16 am

You were beautiful before, you just didn’t know it (and personally I think the glasses are hot). I hope you will decide to love yourself and find beauty in yourself no matter what your size is – now or in the future.

You can love yourself even if you’re not pretty, Evang. I never said I didn’t. – PQ

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Clam-bake • August 11, 2007 at 2:45 am

I think you look just as pretty in both pictures – but you look happier in the current one.

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Isabelle • August 11, 2007 at 10:34 am

I haven’t time to read all 57 previous comments, but like some of the people at the end, I think you were pretty even when you were fat. But you’re certainly thinner now.

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sandy • August 11, 2007 at 10:28 pm

totally weird – you must be on my brain! i swear i saw a 35 year-old-ish version of you from your after pic coming out of my ymca last night! and then, just when i was concerned i was creepy for fake-recognizing-a-person-i-don’t-actually-know, i swear i saw the ‘before you’ on an elliptical machine. we-ird.

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Angel • August 11, 2007 at 10:54 pm

You look radiant and lovely :)

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yo • August 12, 2007 at 12:21 pm

I also agree that you were quite noticeably pretty before even when heavy. Creamy skin, nice hair, cute face in that pic.

And I agree that getting rid of glasses was a good move. I remember once posting here that you should get contacts and you got a tad huffy and were like “Thanks but I don’t need random internet trolls offering beauty advice.” Which is true, but I still am glad to see I was right. ;)

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Curious • August 12, 2007 at 7:47 pm

Woah..your arms looke disproportionately big. I know you can’t spot train, but are you planning on doing anything special to get rid of the excess fat there?

It’s not fat, it’s all muscle :) – PQ

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Mymsie • August 12, 2007 at 10:36 pm

You look radiant – congrats!!

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GAMommy • August 13, 2007 at 9:24 am

Great hair cut and you look fantastic! I agree with some of the other comments, though. I like your long hair too, but it is hard to be stylish with long hair. I’m so proud of you!

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n.b. • August 13, 2007 at 3:43 pm

Yes, you ARE pretty! But I can see that you are pretty in your earlier incarnation as well, and I’d bet people probably sighed and said “Such a sweet face! If only she’d lose a few pounds!” about you, back then, even if you didn’t hear them.

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nacho • August 14, 2007 at 4:00 pm

lookin’ good. looks like you’re going to be more ready for the 10 year high school reunion than most of us ;)

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kentuckienne • August 15, 2007 at 4:40 pm

I love the hair! The shirt! The shirt color! You look AWESOME.

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KNH • September 4, 2007 at 3:05 pm

Wow, you are pretty, and that is OK. I’m rather tired of it being OK to be self-deprecating, but not OK to say out loud the truth about the good stuff.

I’m pretty. I’m smart. I’m not good at sports and I can be snarky sometimes. It’s all OK.

Isn’t it funny that people will roll their eyes if you say anything good about yourself??

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PurpleGirl • October 23, 2007 at 5:09 pm

Girl, you were beautiful before! You just look happier now. :)

(And I have the same Lane Bryant sweater in blue-green, too!)

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

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