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Bony Ass

My butt hurts. Not right now, but after I’ve been sitting in my office chair for awhile my bum becomes a bit sore. I might need to just sit up straighter, since many of you have commented that I have the posture of a silly straw. But (heh), I think my butt may just be less padded these days. My tailbone has less layers of fat to poke through, so I start to feel like I’ve been riding a bicycle though I haven’t been pedaling anywhere. I certainly expect to feel a little sore after riding to the park and back on my bike, but office work shouldn’t be this uncomfortable, right?

In other amazing body news, I’ve noticed that I can squat all the way down to the floor and then stand back up without grasping for the kitchen counter. After I’ve been sitting on the floor stretching, I can bend my knees, put my arm on the floor and fling my back up into a standing position. And when I’m sitting on the couch watching TV, I can curl my legs up in front of me and lay sideways against the arm and a pillow very comfortably without a huge belly getting in the way. All very basic maneuvers and all movements I have not been able to complete since the 90′s. I can even cross my legs and hook my leg behind my ankle without having to lean severely to the left. Every time I bend my body in these new and fascinating ways I feel so grateful and amazed and think, “This is totally awesome.” You’d think that feeling would wear off after awhile, but no. This ain’t morphine. I haven’t built up a tolerance yet. Half the reason I do Pilates is because I am continually amazed that I can lay on the ground and bend my legs at a 45 degree angle from my body. It’s completely mind-blowing.

I think I’m going to try a drop-in yoga class during lunch next week just to see what other pretzel maneuvers I am capable of and have not yet discovered. Maybe soon I’ll discover I can open a can of tuna with my untrimmed toenails. I’m pretty sure I can’t bend my legs behind my head, but I do feel head over heels in love with my body these days, bony ass and all.

(This is totally disgusting to read, isn’t it? You all hate me, right? There are so many women out there who hate their bodies, so on behalf of the few women who love their bods, I feel like I’ve got to represent. My body rocks! So my skin may sag a little. If I wanted to, my arms and thighs leave plenty to bitch about, but why focus on the negative? As Ani DiFranco said, “It looks a little rough, but it runs good anyway.”)

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26 Comments

Lisa G • July 19, 2007 at 10:07 am

Hi– I have been lurking for awhile, enjoying your site tremendously. I lost about 50 pounds a few years ago and have had the same problem with chairs– my tailbone gets sore. Also, now that I’m more athletic, I think I just notice it more when I feel slouchy and crappy from sitting too long. I actually pushed back my desk chair at work and put my computer up on boxes so I can stand all day. My boss thinks I’m slightly nuts but it feels much better and maybe I’m deluded, but it seems like a little bit of extra exercise.

Also, I’m a yoga teacher! So I definitely recommend trying a class– shop around if you don’t find one you like at first.

You might be interested in a piece I wrote recently that touches on yoga and weight loss:

http://www.kripalu.org/KripaluOnline/current.html

Keep enjoying your strong and gorgeous new body!

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PastaQueen • July 19, 2007 at 10:36 am

Lisa G – My older brother had an adjustable desk that he set up so he could stand at his computer. I always thought he was weird, but back then it hurt for me to stand for more than 5 minutes at a time. I can understand the appeal now.

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LadyT • July 19, 2007 at 11:04 am

no, i do not hate you. this is great that you are loving your body nowadays. its a lot better than hating it.

it encourages me…to know that a former fatty is able to do these things….i can keep these things in mind…and try them when i get to closer to my goal.

and bc of you, i have made a mental note to myself to start Pilates around the 50lbs loss mark. bc i’d hate to lose all this weight and still be stiff and unflexible. with poor core strength to boot.

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psychsarah • July 19, 2007 at 11:07 am

Big props to you re: enjoying your body and what it can do. I think that is so fantastic!! I think as women we spend so much time bitching about our bodies, we take for granted the amazing stuff we make our bodies do every day. You’re not taking it for granted, and I think that is such a great example! Keep enjoying the high!!

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Mymsie • July 19, 2007 at 11:20 am

It’s refreshing to read about someone with such great self esteem. We could all use the boost!

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MaryK • July 19, 2007 at 12:24 pm

Oh, no! I don’t hate you! I love you! I am thrilled for you! And mostly I am thrilled that you have done this while you are still so young, so that you have many, many years ahead of you to enjoy that wonderful body!

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coraspartan • July 19, 2007 at 12:42 pm

I hear you on the bony ass thing. I am pretty thin (your height and approx. 137 lbs.), but when I was at my lowest weight last year (132 lbs), I could feel my butt bones every single time I sat down. Also, I was freezing all the time (reminds me of the post you had about freezing at work once you dropped your weight). Those two things made me realize that maybe I was a little bit TOO thin. Since then I’ve relaxed my diet a bit and don’t work out quite as much, which is why I’ve gained back the 5 lbs. I know that 5 lbs. might not sound like much, but it actually made a world of difference to me! Now I don’t feel my butt bones when I sit and I’m only cold when the air conditioning is set too low.

Like you said, we all have body parts to bitch about–mine is my stomach. I have to come to accept that I will NEVER be happy with my stomach. I just accept it and move on.

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Maggi • July 19, 2007 at 1:01 pm

What a great entry! Thanks for sharing these positive thoughts– especially the “… but why focus on the negative?” question. I think that’s a question we could all ask ourselves more often. Sure, there are lots of things I could nitpick about my body, too– I still have a lot of weight to lose before I reach my goal, and there are features I didn’t like even when I was a skinny little thing, 8 or 9 years ago– but WHY BOTHER? I had an awesome workout last night, I feel good, I have cute clothing and a sparkly pedicure, I make people happy, and I know for a fact that there are at least a couple people out there who find me darn sexy right here and now– so why bother with the nitpicking?

In the future, I’m going to ask myself that question — WHY BOTHER?– every time I fall into the trap of nitpicking/hating my body.

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Theresa • July 19, 2007 at 1:29 pm

Having your butt hurt because you have lost so much weight is a good problem to have, isn’t it? :) I have noticed the same thing since I have lost weight. I know someone who doesn’t use a desk chair at all. He sits on one of the big excersize balls all day at his desk. I guess he just finds it comfortable.

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Kimberly • July 19, 2007 at 1:48 pm

I can’t do any of those things, but I don’t hate you even the weest bit. I love the glimpse you give me of what I’m striving for.

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Marianne • July 19, 2007 at 1:51 pm

I can’t hate you – this is what I get to look forward to when I reach my goal weight! Mmmm tasty motivation.

Okay, I hate you a little, but only for the image of someone opening a can with their toenails. Ew.

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Alana • July 19, 2007 at 2:17 pm

I have the boney ass problem too!!! I am so glad to hear it’s not just me. I have lost over 100lbs and I started to notice the butt pain a few months ago.

It gets really bad when sitting in a movie theater. Those seats aren’t meant to be comfortable and it’s not like you get get up to move your butt whenever you feel like it!

Oh well…I guess it’s just the pain we must endure to be incredibly hott!!!!

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hannah • July 19, 2007 at 3:00 pm

I loved the part about loving your body and focusing on the good parts! I have been bitching about my legs as long as I can remember, because they´re out of shape and covered in dimples… but I never actually thought about doing something about it! I feel kind of stupid now, realizing that the heaps of chocolate I kept consuming additionally to sitting around on my lazy back all day didn´t help… Anyways, now I started working out and running, and I already feel better.

You´re great, you´re such an inspiration!

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annie • July 19, 2007 at 3:14 pm

Just found your blog and I’ve enjoyed your entries a lot. It is refreshing to find someone who loves her body. I’ve gained a lot of kilos since my university years when I was an underweight weakling, and yet my superficial friends insist I looked better then so should go back to that weight. I usually reply I’m happier being overweight and able to serve a volleyball over the net, hit a tennis ball harder. I do yoga and pilates (Mari Winsor’s) too and want to keep improving. I’d like to lose some weight but not go back to a BMI of 18 which is sadly a standard some people insist upon, but that’s OK because most of them can’t squat all the way to the floor and then stand up without any assistance like we can :).

Do you think you need a more comfortable office chair? I use an exercise ball as a chair at home, and can also recommend a saddle chair (just do an image search for “saddle office chair”, but they can be expensive).

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Cindy • July 19, 2007 at 4:47 pm

Hi PQ,

I can’t yet say that i love my body, but I am in love with the feeling of being able to do some things that i couldn’t before. Some days, I am just happy walking down the sidewalk—I can’t help but smile at myself because I move so freely and don’t think twice about taking a detour or adding to my journey just because… Some days, I want to twirl, especially when i come to wide open spaces, like the grand piazzas in front of fancy buildings in the city…or on the beach… or in the parking lot…i’m not that choosy! Mind you, i don’t twirl, but in my head, i’m spinning! Maybe, one day, i will twirl and not think about what anyone else thinks. For now, i am just happy that i think about twirling at all. It is enough. Thanks for the great post and the opportunity to reflect on what my changing body can do and how i feel about it.

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jodi • July 19, 2007 at 4:58 pm

there are parts of my body that still need work but i’m with you – i’m proud of my body and what it can do… i love that i can now run for 45 minutes straight and not feel like i’m going to die… its amazing what your body can do, when you give it time to get used to something… pretty cool… :o)

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Janice Bridge • July 19, 2007 at 6:10 pm

Yup – there are advantages to having a big bum . . . do I want mine back? Not on your life. I suffered from the tail bone problem for about 6 months – but was doing about 30 minutes a day on the elliptical walker. Someone suggested I move the setting to a steeper incline to strengthen my gluts. . . sure enough – solved the tail bone problem (except when on VERY LONG trips!

Seriously, you might look into a stability ball as an alternative to your office chair. I enjoy mine. Great for building core body strength while you are working away

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Chris H • July 19, 2007 at 8:06 pm

I am still marvelling at what I can do too, it is awesome, and I sure havn’t gotten tired of this feeling yet. And I too get a lot of tailbone pain, so not used to feeling it!

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catherine • July 19, 2007 at 8:43 pm

PQ: you should get a beautiful cushion that celebrates who you are and what you have achieved! Then you can relax at your desk and be more comfortable. Take frequent breaks to get up and walk around.

Congratulations on less bottom! I remember the day a coworker saw me from behind and said something about my rear end disappearing. I was kind of happy, except she said it from across the break room in front of a bunch of other women!!!

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Angel • July 19, 2007 at 9:18 pm

I don’t hate you at all :) Way to go!!

I’ve starting wondering what the heck I’m going to look like and how I’m going to feel when I lose all this weight. It’s a bit….daunting.

It’s nice to know there are all these exciting things to look forward to, things I never thought about!

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n.b. • July 19, 2007 at 9:29 pm

I actually LOVE hearing someone talk about how exciting it is that their body works. I was once walking around a track, mentally bitching and moaning “My hip aches, I hate how my varicose veins look, I wish I were thinner etc” when a man without legs whipped by in his little arm propelled running chair. Now when I hear that inner litany of whining begin I make sure to enjoy the fact that I can (at least at this moment) use those aestheticaly despised legs for glorious self-propelled motion and etc.

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Lynise • July 20, 2007 at 2:48 am

You have absolutely every right to feel like your living on top of the world. Your weight loss achievements are certainly nothing short of a ton of dedication and hard work, so don’t you go feeling the slightest bit concerned that anyone will hate your new found love of your body. You have done all the hard work and certainly deserve all the good feelings, comments, and rewards that come with it.

I got a long way to go, but your journal is a total inspiration, because while your standing in your pics looking so lovely and trim, I’m here thinking that someone has actually done it, and if they can do it, then that means its possible and I can do it to.

Your a star

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Caroline Potato • July 21, 2007 at 8:54 pm

Hi Pasta Queen,

I am so proud of you! I am 5 ft 6 inches and 205 pounds. I love my body too, but I’m really really really discouraged. I used to be active but now I’m not.

I remember seeing your blog many months ago somewhere, and thinking “Wow, this girl has some courage. Loosing half your body weight seems kind of ….impossible.” But now I happened to find you again by accident, and there you are with a boney butt. Bravo. You have really inspired me.

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Adriana • July 22, 2007 at 10:32 pm

Whenever I get to the bony butt stage I hope I am as ecstatic about my body as you are.

My heaviest was 332, then I dropped to about 297 give or take, exercising and controlling my eating (basically I had a mcdonalds chicken caesar salad and a taco bell pintos and cheese everyday-I dont know how I kept off the weight, but somehow I did). This year in April I went on the Atkins Nutritional Aproach and am now down to 255. I am proud of the numbers, but …

I took a photo of myself at 275 (should have taken it earlier but I didnt even think about it till I stumbled onto your site), and then this morning at 255. Barely a difference.

Its a little comforting to see your progress photos to see that Im not the only one. I was starting to wonder why people werent noticing my loss (not that I need constant attention, but COME-ON Ive lost over 40 pounds). Anyway, I guess when you have a lot to lose, losing a lot doesnt necessarily look like a lot–which explains for me how I packed on 100 pounds and never really noticed it.

Lesson: always have a scale-and use it.

Thanks for your site and inspiring so many people, for the tips, and for the general humor that we should all find in our day.

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lovelines • July 23, 2007 at 4:32 pm

This post makes me so happy. I think one of the reasons why everyone finds your blog so inspiring and so interesting is that, unlike the rest of womenkind, you love your body! And it’s a love that shows, not only in your healthy eating and exercise efforts, but in the way you’re talking about yourself in the blog nowadays. Rock on! Girl power! And assorted other pep-up phrases!

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K • July 26, 2007 at 5:40 pm

Well, I will never have a bony bum, I can say with absolute certainty. But I hear you on the squatting thing. It’s my favourite learned skill since I started doing this, partly because I lift boxes from floor-level every day at work, so it’s constantly useful. I never need to bend my back again!

As for the uncomfy-seat thing… I’d get a cushion and see if your work will get you a better chair.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

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