I used to be boulimic back then so I had some pretty unhealthy habits but binge-food-wise this was probabably the worst.

Gah. The weird thing is, when I’m eating healthy (like now– 25 pounds down so far), I don’t even crave sugar. But when I’m “freestylin’” (as my BFF calls it), I eat tons of it just because I CAN.

I snuck food my entire life, but it was never a problem because I was really active. Then I got an injury that left me nearly immobile for a year and I continued to eat and sneak food, but this time it stayed on my body. I also got a car meaning that I could buy whatever I wanted unimpeded.

A lot of this has been said, which actually makes me feel much better (in solidarity)!

1. Cereal with orange juice.
2. Orange juice with milk, stirred with a hand mixer.
3. Rice Krispies with a one to one ratio of white sugar.
4. Betty Crocker frosting: Chocolate and Cream Cheese flavors.
5. Entire pan of Rice Krispie treats (isn’t that one full box + one full package of marshmallows?)
6. Entire prepared boxes of Betty Crocker yellow and chocolate cake and brownies.
7. Store bought frozen baguettes, baked and then eaten with tubs of margarine (almost everyday).
8. Entire boxes of cereal, opened in the morning, done before bedtime: Honey Combs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Honey Smacks.
9. Vienna Sausages. (ew)
10. Raw ramen with those packets of MSG
11. Super Sized everything, my favorite was Wendy’s Grilled Chicken Sandwich combo meal and also Wendy’s old taco salad bar. Anyone remember that?
12. Old birthday sheet cake was my absolute favorite. I would whittle it down moving at 90 degree angles to “hide” what I ate.
13. Taco Bell cinnatwists, several bags at a time.
14. Mashed Potato flakes with just a tiny bit of hot water, so that they were extra thick.
15. I hid candy all over the house, mostly under rugs in low traffic rooms (I had to stop when the dog started eating them), but I was always proud of my hiding places: Caramellos, Almond Joys, Sugar Daddies and Heath Bars.
16. Sno-Balls, Cherry and Apple Pies, Honey Buns, Ho-Hos, Ding-Dongs, Moon Pies every time I walked into a convenience store.
17. Funyuns, Fritos, Combos, and Cheetos. I could eat these non-stop. Later I fell in love with Munchies, even though I never loved Doritos.
18. “Suicide” fountain drinks, but at least half had to be Cherry Coke several times a week, sometimes once a day.
19. Cracker Jacks, three boxes at a time.
20. Arby’s Beef and Cheddar, four at a time. That stuff was like crack.

I ate like that until I graduated from high school. It was harder to eat so uncontrollably in college because you had roommates and were always around people in the cafeteria, but as soon as I started living by myself again the binging started up.

There’s something blinding and pleasurably numbing about eating like this.

I’m still overweight, but not nearly as fat as I used to be. I wonder though, can I possibly really erase all those years of terrible things going into my body?

My sisters and I used to make what we called peanut butter “shit.” Cocoa powder, confectioners sugar and crunchy peanut butter. Nom Nom Nom…my favorite after school snack. Looked like, well…shit, but damn it was good.

If we didn’t have that we’d make brown sugar and butter sandwiches on wonder bread.

And being a farm girl, I too tasted the horse’s sweet feed. Smelled better than it tasted…

My personal favorite to this day is slightly burnt microwave popcorn, especially the half popped kernels at the bottom of the bag.

I too enjoyed the al-dente pasta with lots of butter and parmesean cheese.

Saltine crackers with butter and peanut butter.

My husband (who is actually quite thin) likes a large flour tortilla spread with margerine and peanut butter.

Garlic bread, pasta with cream sauce, french bread buttered with margerine and microwaved, white rice drenched in soy sauce and butter, crutons slathered in ranch dressing…these are just a few, I’m sure. There is something deeply satisfying about the mixture of simple carbs, saturated fats and high salt content.

I was never a huge fan of sweets. I really lose it over cheeses, white flour, butter and cream based stuff. These are definitley trigger foods for me, and reading about the white rice, butter and peanut butter combonations and pasta with butter combos makes me feel a littler better. Binge eating can really make a person feel alone, and to this day I’ve never uttered a word out loud about my binges. In fact, I pushed them out of my mind so that I really have to dig deep to remember them. The binges are associated with such intense feelings of lonliness, shame and self-loathing it is hard to relive them. It’s tough saying ‘no’ to these trigger foods but I know if I do eat them then I’ll end up stuffed and tired but still keep eating them, making me feel guilty and angry with myself.