May 22, 2007 at 9:24 am
I no longer fear wearing tank tops that display my batwings of arm flesh, but even I am not bold enough to venture into public with little bushes of arm hair. I realized if I wanted to wear my black tank top this weekend I needed to crack down on the stubble with my electric razor. I was being lazy, so I only raised my arm out sideways like I was doing the chicken dance. As I shaved up and down I realized the slope of my armpit was much steeper, like you could fit the La Brea Tar Pits under my arm and throw in a pterodactyl too without trouble. What was going on here?
Then I realized, my pectoral muscle has gotten larger! It forms most of my upper chest, but with my arm out side ways it was hanging out there forming the front of my armpit too. Looking at diagrams of the muscular system, I kind of assumed the muscles would just stay close to the skeleton, but the pectoral sort of does its own thing. I’d never really thought about what made up my armpit before. Did we even need the word “armpit” until someone decided to sell us deodorant?
I put down my razor and shrugged my shoulders while feeling up the muscles near my neck and realized my trapezius muscles are bigger now too. How cool is it that I know all these fancy names for my muscles? A couple months ago I would have been just as likely to call my trapezius muscles Bob or Edgar than by their proper medical names. I think Bob and Edgar are the reason my collarbones have looked a bit more defined lately.
From now on I’ll have to raise my arm back over my head when I’m shaving, as if I was stretching my triceps. Such a burden these new muscles are. It’s funny that even after losing almost 200 pounds my body can still find new ways to change its shape. Perhaps the only thing more amazing would be to wake up one day transformed into a giant beetle, only I doubt that would turn out as well if Kafka had anything to say about it.