Comments on: The costume over my bones http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/ You'll laugh you ass off. (I did.) Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:02:58 -0500 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Johanna http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4664 Johanna Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:41:13 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4664 It's been a while since you posted this. But since I am new to reading your blog I have to commment. I have never been overweight, but I have been underweight, in fact struggling with anorexia. I was so moved by this documentary, largely due to the fact that I have always known instinctively that morbid obesity and anorexia are in fact one and the same struggle. It doesn't seem so, of course. But everytime I watch a documentary like this one, it just seems to me: fat or too thin, all one and the same mindset, not much of a difference. Someday, I hope someone comes up with something that explains the connection that I instinctively know is there. It will certainly remove some of the stigma attached to overweight... and de-romanticize weighing too little. It’s been a while since you posted this. But since I am new to reading your blog I have to commment. I have never been overweight, but I have been underweight, in fact struggling with anorexia.

I was so moved by this documentary, largely due to the fact that I have always known instinctively that morbid obesity and anorexia are in fact one and the same struggle.

It doesn’t seem so, of course. But everytime I watch a documentary like this one, it just seems to me: fat or too thin, all one and the same mindset, not much of a difference.

Someday, I hope someone comes up with something that explains the connection that I instinctively know is there. It will certainly remove some of the stigma attached to overweight… and de-romanticize weighing too little.

]]> By: jae http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4663 jae Tue, 24 Apr 2007 20:56:39 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4663 I love your last paragraph. What a great insight. I wish I could elabarate, but I need to think about what it means to me. ~j I love your last paragraph. What a great insight. I wish I could elabarate, but I need to think about what it means to me. ~j

]]> By: K http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4662 K Tue, 24 Apr 2007 18:40:28 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4662 I think Sheri has a good point: I had largely stopped feeling embarrassed by my body some time before I started a proper effort to lose weight. And I think that had a lot to do with growing up and changing my outlook, and less to do with any actual change in my appearance. I needed to feel happier before I could do that. "The thing about costumes is that they do affect how you live." Yes - and I don't think this just applies to weight. I mean, my work clothes are quite different from my weekend clothes, and that affects how I behave; but I find it's self-defeating to think of the weekend clothes as reflecting my real self better. I'm still myself in a skirt with my hair up, even if I'd rather be in jeans and a T-shirt with my hair down my back. There are good things about my "work self" too. One of the things that bothered me, to begin with, about my decision to lose weight, was that I'd spent many years carefully maintaining a pretence that I was above caring about such things. And now I was going to have to admit (to myself, at least) that I did. I was afraid I was somehow going to turn shallow, vain and single-minded. Surprise! I'm just as easily distracted and scruffy as I was before... on the weekends, anyway ;) Possibly it's not such a big deal for me because I haven't (and couldn't have) completely transformed my appearance. It might be different if you've lost so much weight that you feel everyone you know must notice. I think Sheri has a good point: I had largely stopped feeling embarrassed by my body some time before I started a proper effort to lose weight. And I think that had a lot to do with growing up and changing my outlook, and less to do with any actual change in my appearance. I needed to feel happier before I could do that.

“The thing about costumes is that they do affect how you live.”

Yes – and I don’t think this just applies to weight. I mean, my work clothes are quite different from my weekend clothes, and that affects how I behave; but I find it’s self-defeating to think of the weekend clothes as reflecting my real self better. I’m still myself in a skirt with my hair up, even if I’d rather be in jeans and a T-shirt with my hair down my back. There are good things about my “work self” too.

One of the things that bothered me, to begin with, about my decision to lose weight, was that I’d spent many years carefully maintaining a pretence that I was above caring about such things. And now I was going to have to admit (to myself, at least) that I did. I was afraid I was somehow going to turn shallow, vain and single-minded.

Surprise! I’m just as easily distracted and scruffy as I was before… on the weekends, anyway ;)

Possibly it’s not such a big deal for me because I haven’t (and couldn’t have) completely transformed my appearance. It might be different if you’ve lost so much weight that you feel everyone you know must notice.

]]> By: Sheri http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4661 Sheri Tue, 24 Apr 2007 14:59:27 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4661 I agree that I feel more myself, like Sheri turned to 11. But that is still different. The question is, can I attribute it to weight loss? Partially, maybe. I've lost over 120 pounds. But I’m also older, too. Out of my twenties, at least. I do feel out of my shell, but because of everything else, including motherhood, it is hard to pinpoint where the shell fell. I agree that I feel more myself, like Sheri turned to 11. But that is still different. The question is, can I attribute it to weight loss? Partially, maybe. I’ve lost over 120 pounds. But I’m also older, too. Out of my twenties, at least. I do feel out of my shell, but because of everything else, including motherhood, it is hard to pinpoint where the shell fell.

]]> By: PastaQueen http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4660 PastaQueen Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:53:55 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4660 And also, a lot of that newfound confidence comes not just from looking better, but because I feel more in control of my life and take pride in accomplishing a huge task. I also find eating healthy and exercising makes me feel better, period. Being thinner is good too, of course :) But the thinness seems to be more of a side affect of taking better care of myself. And also, a lot of that newfound confidence comes not just from looking better, but because I feel more in control of my life and take pride in accomplishing a huge task. I also find eating healthy and exercising makes me feel better, period. Being thinner is good too, of course :) But the thinness seems to be more of a side affect of taking better care of myself.

]]> By: PastaQueen http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4659 PastaQueen Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:44:23 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4659 anonymous - I did a meme <a href="http://www.pastaqueen.com/halfofme/archives/2007/01/same_difference.html" rel="nofollow">back in January</a> that included the question of whether weight loss had changed me and I agree with what you said, I'm not really the same person. But I came to the conclusion that I wasn't a "different" person per se, just more myself, like I had my amp turned up to 11. The thing about costumes is that they do effect how you live. If I were to wear a corset I wouldn't be able to breathe well. If I had to wear stripper shoes I'd probably fall on my face. But the way I look and what I'm wearing aren't <i>who</i> I am, just part of the image I'm projecting. The way people react to that image will in turn effect how I react to them and how I feel about myself, but it's still all ultimately smoke and mirrors when you get down to it. anonymous – I did a meme back in January that included the question of whether weight loss had changed me and I agree with what you said, I’m not really the same person. But I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t a “different” person per se, just more myself, like I had my amp turned up to 11.

The thing about costumes is that they do effect how you live. If I were to wear a corset I wouldn’t be able to breathe well. If I had to wear stripper shoes I’d probably fall on my face. But the way I look and what I’m wearing aren’t who I am, just part of the image I’m projecting. The way people react to that image will in turn effect how I react to them and how I feel about myself, but it’s still all ultimately smoke and mirrors when you get down to it.

]]> By: Peach http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4658 Peach Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:10:46 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4658 I know what you mean. Losing a lot of weight can make a person feel elated and more confident, and their friends and families may be very proud of them for it. But, to the rest of the world, the person is still invisible, just another face in the crowd. Being thin won't change that. And you're right... who a person truly is isn't reflected in a person's waist size. I know what you mean. Losing a lot of weight can make a person feel elated and more confident, and their friends and families may be very proud of them for it. But, to the rest of the world, the person is still invisible, just another face in the crowd. Being thin won’t change that. And you’re right… who a person truly is isn’t reflected in a person’s waist size.

]]> By: anonymous http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4657 anonymous Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:01:26 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4657 Ok, I don't want to get everyone mad, but I have to say this. I've been fat (in fact, was fat for most of my life) and have now spent the last few years thin. If there are those of you who really feel you are the same person on the inside regardless of how you look on the outside, I can sincerely say more power to you. This was not true for me. I am a different person now, inner and outer. I am at peace. I am happy. I am confident. I am positive. I am outgoing. I even think I am thoughtful and more kind, certainly less angry, maybe because I don't feel so defensive. I am many things now that I think were either not there before or were deeply, deeply hidden. I have changed, and I'm glad for it. If that fat was just a costume, then I was wearing it on the inside too. Ok, I don’t want to get everyone mad, but I have to say this. I’ve been fat (in fact, was fat for most of my life) and have now spent the last few years thin. If there are those of you who really feel you are the same person on the inside regardless of how you look on the outside, I can sincerely say more power to you. This was not true for me. I am a different person now, inner and outer. I am at peace. I am happy. I am confident. I am positive. I am outgoing. I even think I am thoughtful and more kind, certainly less angry, maybe because I don’t feel so defensive. I am many things now that I think were either not there before or were deeply, deeply hidden. I have changed, and I’m glad for it. If that fat was just a costume, then I was wearing it on the inside too.

]]> By: english muffin top http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4656 english muffin top Tue, 24 Apr 2007 07:48:55 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4656 amen xox amen

xox

]]> By: Amy http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/04/the-costume-over-my-bones/comment-page-1/#comment-4655 Amy Tue, 24 Apr 2007 07:43:33 +0000 http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=523#comment-4655 hey, that sarah song was current at the time. hey, that sarah song was current at the time.

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