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Moments in culinary genius

PastaQueen enters the kitchen and takes the smoothie blender off of the shelf. She tosses in vanilla yogurt, milk, protein powder, frozen blueberries and vanilla extract. She turns on the blender and stirs the concoction with a stir stick through a hole in the lid’s top.

PastaQueen hears slight crunching sound. “Hmmm, those blueberries are really frozen together.” Crunch, thump, crunch. Uses stir stick to try and blend them together. “Man, I guess I should defrost them first next time.”

PastaQueen turns off blender. She removes the lid and licks the stir stick. She pours the smoothie into a tall glass. A cylindrical object covered in the blue, gooey mixture plops out. PastaQueen looks at object in confusion. “What is this, frozen ice?” She rinses object off to discover it is the battered plastic stopper that is placed in the hole in the lid when not using the stir stick. She glances down at her smoothie, suddenly noticing the grainy texture.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the fiberglass smoothie!

PastaQueen pours smoothie full of small plastic bits down the drain and tosses destroyed stopper. She goes online to look up “plastic poisioning” to convince herself she will not die due to licking the stick.

Lesson: Always check the bottom of the blender.

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25 Comments

Amy • April 10, 2007 at 8:40 am

they leave those medical sponges in people all the time and they’re fine (that would be better in italics), i’m sure you’ll be fine too!

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psychsarah • April 10, 2007 at 8:46 am

Oh-you’ve made me giggle on a so-far crummy morning! It’s good to know other people do these silly things too! Thanks for sharing!!

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Lose Weight With Me • April 10, 2007 at 10:47 am

LMAO…thanks for a great laugh this morning!

Brian

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Greta • April 10, 2007 at 10:55 am

Oh dear, I did this once too- the very same day I brought my brand spankin new blender home. I still have it, 8 years later…but it was never the same. At least you were making something healthy with yours- I hurt mine while making margaritas….hmm, maybe that explains the mishap ;)

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Rachel • April 10, 2007 at 11:09 am

My mom once made orange julius and accidentally left the wooden spoon in the blender when she turned it on.

That was the first time I ever heard my mother swear.

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Deirdre • April 10, 2007 at 12:02 pm

Hope you and your blender live to blend another day.

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JEM • April 10, 2007 at 12:30 pm

So glad you didn’t glub it right down. Yuck. The blender did you wrong.

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Nicole • April 10, 2007 at 1:14 pm

I just did the pilates dvd based on your recommendation….and boy do I SUCK!

Yet, I loved it! I could barely do the modified version that the pretty dark haired, blue eyed, robot gazed woman was doing….but I was pleasantly surprised to feel a gentle tugging in the abs when I stood up.

I also really enjoy that instructor…she seemed “real” and down to earth. I watched her interview at the end. Good stuff. Thank you!

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Vicky • April 10, 2007 at 1:14 pm

I once blended my plastic topper as well. Who knew it’s such a common thing?

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Nicole • April 10, 2007 at 1:16 pm

Oh and by the way…DAMN, that is some blender! Mine barely dents ice cubes!

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Chris H • April 10, 2007 at 4:26 pm

UMMMM …. are you blonde by any chance? Ha ha ha, only joking…. but that is something I would do!

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Moni • April 10, 2007 at 6:01 pm

I had to laugh when I read this… only because it sounds like something I would do. I did melt a plastic sombrero-shaped chip bowl once. I forgot to check the oven before preheating it. And I still don’t know why it was in there.

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honi • April 10, 2007 at 6:10 pm

that was funny.. been there done it too.. remind me some time to tell you about the exploding chili … it will make you feel much better..

think I will pass on fiberglass smoothies :-)

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Carolyn T • April 10, 2007 at 8:10 pm

Oh, I just had to laugh – really belly laugh – out loud over the blender trick. Most every cook with a blender has done this little number.

Next time you make smoothies, you might try mango chunks. If you have a Trader Joe’s near where you live, they have frozen chunks, so it makes it very easy to throw in a few from a frozen state. It also helps chill off the smoothie too.

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jae • April 10, 2007 at 8:34 pm

That is so weird!! As I was putting my blender away the other day I was too lazy to put the plastic top of the lid on so I just threw it in the pitcher part and thought “I hope I remember that’s in there”. Now I’ll remember for sure!!! ~j

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chosha • April 11, 2007 at 8:16 am

I wonder how many calories are in plastic…?

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karaokekitty • April 11, 2007 at 9:04 am

Hmmm, plastic… is it low carb? LMAO – I needed that this morning! Thanks!!!

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Christien • April 11, 2007 at 11:47 am

Can you post your smoothie recipes (sans the plastic? )

They sound delicious! Thanks

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PastaQueen • April 11, 2007 at 11:16 pm

Christien – I got this recipe off of the back of the protein powder can and because of the fiberglass incident have not actually had any. So I can not testify to its tastiness. That said, here you go:

1 cup blueberries (fresh or frozen)

1/4 cup low fat milk

4 Tbsp protein powder

3/4 cup plain or vanilla low fat yogurt

3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

Place all ingredients into a blender. Cover and blend until frothy. For a slightly sweeter shake, add 1 tablespoon of honey. Makes 2 servings.

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wendy • April 12, 2007 at 5:46 pm

Hi – I noticed your comment re: http://www.mapmyrun.com on Shrinkingknitter.blogspot.com. There is another one at http://www.usatf.org (USA Track and Field) that has a real time display of hills as you map the route. It is slower which is why I recco’d the other one.

Your progress is amazing…I’ll need to read through some archives to read your story. Good luck on the rest of your journey.

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also • April 12, 2007 at 7:34 pm

peaqueue, did you watch this pbs show on obesity last night? They had on a girl who’s a stand-up comedienne who lost, like, 150 lbs or something and now exercises THREE HRS a day.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/takeonestep/fat/people_dimino.html

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PastaQueen • April 12, 2007 at 8:20 pm

also – I missed that show. I feel like I’m back in school and I forgot to do my homework because everyone is talking about it. It’s showing again at 1:00am tonight, so I’ll set my VCR.

I read that interview you linked to and, wow, is that woman my mind twin or what? We’re totally on the same wavelength. I kept agreeing with what she said as I read. Though I can’t see myself exercising for two whole hours a day unless I was training for a mini-marathon. At most I may top out at 70-80 minutes if I’m doing running and then do Pilates or weight-lifting.

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Natalie • April 12, 2007 at 8:41 pm

PastaQueen, do you ever get tired of 20+ people saying LOL!!! You are hilarious. The pressure of the audience probably makes you perform better, right? Or you would have gotten tired of it a long time ago. Thanks so much for the laugh! :)

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Salma Gundi • April 13, 2007 at 7:27 am

Rofl – that is almost exactly how I lost the plastic stopper to my blender … my stuff inside was soup I was pureeing for thickening :D

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Aimee • April 14, 2007 at 5:02 pm

LOL! That was a pretty funny story. Glad you noticed it before you went to town on that smoothie. :)

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog JenFul.

Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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