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Morris was finicky over this stuff?

I don’t usually buy the wet, canned cat food, but in order to use my coupon I had to bump my order up to $15.00 and the $0.60 cent can of Science Diet was the easiest way to do it. My cat got awfully excited over the treat as I peeled back the metal lid. He kept poking his nose into the can as I used a spoon to scoop out the ground up bits of animals I don’t want to know the names of. I scraped all around the edges and whacked the remaining sticky clumps into the bowl with a few thumps.

And then I licked the spoon.

It was only when the meaty mess was sticking to the top of my mouth that I realized what I had done. All those years of licking the beaters after mixing a cake and scooping up wads of chocolate chip cookie dough on the sly must have created an automatic response in my brain. I’d run down a well-beaten path in my neural pathways that said: Serve food, then lick spoon.

Since it was already in my mouth, I figured I may as well swallow. (This is a philosophy that I only apply to food, by the way.) Surprisingly, cat food doesn’t taste that bad. I didn’t start go “Ooahk, ooahk” and upchuck it on the carpet like my cat does after he’s been chewing on the spider plants. But I’m not going to be making any cat food pâté recipes either.

It does make me wonder how much the packaging shapes our perception of a food. If they’d put a label on this can that said “Ground Veal” would I be more inclined to think I liked it? Getting kids to try new foods can be a major obstacle because they don’t think they will like new foods or are scared to try new taste experiences. I recently read that some food companies greenwash their packaging to make them appear more healthy by putting images of farms or fields or sax-laying earthworms on them. Could such marketing turn something like cat food into a delicacy?

I don’t know, but I think I’ll stick to buying the dry food for my cat from now on. I’ve never found myself accidentally chomping on kibble.

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48 Comments

karaokekitty • February 5, 2007 at 10:43 am

OMG that made me laugh! I almost did something like that the other day. I was feeding the cats (wet food) when a little got on my finger. I lifted my finger to my mouth to lick it, but once I smelled the cat food juice, I was totally grossed out at what I had almost put in my mouth. Eeeewww! I feel for you!

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Rachel • February 5, 2007 at 10:59 am

I would have thrown up. No doubt. That wet pet food is NASTAY!

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Toni • February 5, 2007 at 11:12 am

I just burst out laughing at work. I did not see that coming! So funny!

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Bree • February 5, 2007 at 11:27 am

Eeekk! I would have been heaving all the way to the bathroom to spit it out. haha Especially since I always think of the grease thingys at fast food places. I’ve been told they use that grease to make petfood. I’m not sure how true that is, but ewwwwww just the same.

Thanks for answering my question. I appreciate it.

Bree

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galnoir • February 5, 2007 at 11:27 am

PQ, that sounds like a classic case of the eating scripts that Brian Wansink references in Mindless Eating (which I recently checked out of the library and am halfway through reading … and will probably buy my own copy and be citing it endlessly in the coming weeks, it’s that fascinating).

Well, errr … at least the cat food was rich in protein. :cp

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lainey • February 5, 2007 at 11:30 am

Fucking Hell! I can’t actually believe you did that and that you were so calm about it! eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww.

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Les • February 5, 2007 at 11:46 am

Thanks for the tips. I was wondering where you were going with that story. I definitely didn’t see that coming. I would have upchucked. That was funny.

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Debbie • February 5, 2007 at 11:54 am

Yech! I can’t believe you swallowed it.

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Hilly • February 5, 2007 at 12:08 pm

Oh. My. God!

I am sorry but that made me giggle; every night, we give FC a treat of wet food and I hate it even being on my hands. You are a brave and cute little toaster!

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melissa • February 5, 2007 at 12:16 pm

OMG – You. Swallowed. The. Cat. Food. Ick!!! The smell of that stuff makes me dry wretch. My niece, who is three has decided to taste both the cat and dog food (dry kibble) at my parent’s house. She said they both taste ‘salty’.

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NicoleW • February 5, 2007 at 12:55 pm

EWWW! That’s hilarious.

And I believe the already-cited Brian Wansink would say “Yes” — if the can claimed it contained ground veal, you’d be more inclined to try it and even like it. Really fascinating book.

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Uncle Rick • February 5, 2007 at 1:14 pm

Good job!! You’re doing great! And congrats on the book deal. See ya.

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Emily • February 5, 2007 at 2:12 pm

That was hilarious. As a horrible snitcher (and licker of spoons) when it comes to food, that sounds like something I would do.

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Gale • February 5, 2007 at 2:27 pm

I have GOT to stop reading your blog at work. My coworkers already think I’m insane. When I read this post I tried really hard not to laugh out loud but I thought my sides would rip open if I didn’t. Now I’ve gotta pee too.

love your blog…..love this entry

Gale

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metamorphose • February 5, 2007 at 2:35 pm

Oh dear! hahahaaha! Funny. Gross, but still funny.

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Janice Bridge • February 5, 2007 at 2:40 pm

Oh PQ!! As a person who shares a home with four cats – and as someone who suffers from the “tasting syndrome” I roared with laughter.

Running to spit it out or throw it up would just be too much of an over reaction . . .although I think I might have had to gargle and/or brush my teeth

Jan

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fatkat • February 5, 2007 at 3:34 pm

Yes..but…how many calories were in it? ;0)

Yuck

This reminds me of back when I was in undergrad in psychology. My developmental psych prof was always encouraging students to go into marketing psych. Apparently, that is “where the money is” but I find it hard to think a job sitting around staring at, developing surveys on, and interviewing people about slightly differently hued bottles and packages would be all that interesting.

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lovelines • February 5, 2007 at 4:09 pm

Haha. Reminds me of a family story (true or not) that one of my uncles ate an entire can of catfood when visiting a friend in a foreign country. Apparently, he couldn’t read the label and figured it was just some sort of canned stew.

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jen • February 5, 2007 at 4:57 pm

How brave, not only to swallow but to write about it for us all to see. Yikes! But at least you will have shiny fur.

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Melissa • February 5, 2007 at 5:08 pm

Ha ha ha!!!! Nearly peed reading this! My grandma fed catfood to my granddad once when she had the poos with him – brought back memories!!

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Kathryn • February 5, 2007 at 6:02 pm

ROFL.

One time I paid my son to eat dog food. The dog wouldn’t eat it and I wanted to know why but we realised he had nothing to compare it to and he refused to do comparison tests.

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Denise • February 5, 2007 at 6:30 pm

OMG!!!! I’m sitting here LMAO, it might though make you think twice about licking any spoons in the future, could be a good thing. Still think I would have ralphed immediately. Thanks for making me laugh today and everyday.

Denise

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Ali • February 5, 2007 at 7:13 pm

Bwahahahah thanks for the morning giggle.

Please tell me this is going in the book?!

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gina • February 5, 2007 at 8:16 pm

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I would have thrown up! In fact, I kinda gagged a little just reading this. Last night I almost puked watching some bulemic chick vomit in a ziplock bag on Intervention. Thanks for the 2nd almost-vomit in 24 hours!

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lynette • February 5, 2007 at 9:19 pm

Since it was already in my mouth, I figured I may as well swallow. (This is a philosophy that I only apply to food, . . .

that is quite possibly the funniest thing i have ever read :-) precious!!

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Paige • February 5, 2007 at 10:15 pm

No way. You didn’t really lick the spoon, did you? Please tell me you are kidding.

I can’t think about it anymore. You have to be kidding.

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Chris H • February 5, 2007 at 10:52 pm

Oh my God, I can’t believe you did that!! I nearly threw up just thinking about it, eeeewwwww….. hope you still feeling ok? lol

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kalmia • February 5, 2007 at 11:03 pm

I’m afraid I’m with the retchers on this one. A mere whiff of my cat’s food–wet or dry–makes me gag.

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J • February 6, 2007 at 12:19 am

Oh, for Pete’s sake, spring for some good canned cat food. How would you like to eat crappy dry kibble twice a day? BTW, congratulations on your weight loss AND on your book deal!

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Michelle • February 6, 2007 at 8:11 am

If you ever get your cat soft food again, try foil packets, you open and pour, no chance of a spoon-licking response. (I’d tell you which brand my cats prefer, but then I’d sound like a cat food ad.)

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Michelle • February 6, 2007 at 8:12 am

If you ever get your cat soft food again, try foil packets, you open and pour, no chance of a spoon-licking response. (I’d tell you which brand my cats prefer, but then I’d sound like a cat food ad.)

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lulu • February 6, 2007 at 12:08 pm

When I was 3 years old I ate a dog biscuit. Actually, I shared it with our puppy. Actually, she ate half, then I ate the rest. Actually, she ate half, then I picked it up off the floor and finished it.

I would not do this now.

And if my mama ever finds out about this, even after all these years, she will faint.

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Jenny • February 6, 2007 at 4:32 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *pauses for breath* HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Its the little things in your life that makes mine more enjoyable. :)

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english muffin top • February 7, 2007 at 5:42 am

o im heaving at the thought! I have to admit that me and my brother used to eat our dog’s dry biscuits – they tasted like digestives/graham crackers (sp?) and I was 5!

mmm meaty cat food bleugh!

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Laura • February 7, 2007 at 7:30 am

Thanks for a good belly laugh first thing in the morning! SO funny and very brave to admit publicly!

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K • February 7, 2007 at 9:53 am

Well, I would have spat. But I’m vegetarian, so I’m guessing I wouldn’t have instinctively licked. (I did accidentally stir my stirfry with the spoon from my husband’s chicken-containing stirfry the other day, but I’m not THAT picky.)

Several years ago, I went to see a dramatic adaptation of Labels by Louis de Bernières (the “Captain Corelli” guy). Which is about a man driven to penury by his catfood-collecting habit, who is on the brink of starvation until he realises he could just…

The actor handed out bits of pâté on toast before the show. I didn’t take any, but my husband did…

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K • February 7, 2007 at 9:54 am

Duh

“catfood-label collecting habit”.

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la guera gordita • February 7, 2007 at 12:03 pm

OKAY. THATS ENOUGH! you really need to stop making me burst out laughing @ work… i swear, i had a dream last night that i got fired for laughing so hard that everyone realized i was on the internet… you are too funny.

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Angie • February 7, 2007 at 2:06 pm

Wow…I do have an impeccable sense of timing! Or an impeccable sense of reading…whatever.

I had just taken a big mouthful of water from my bottle and then read the line about you licking the spoon, and damn near ruined my computer screens and keyboard. But I held it in. And then…I, too, swallowed.

*sigh* Isn’t it fun to share secrets?

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kimberly • February 7, 2007 at 3:50 pm

Oh! No! I’m so sorry you went through that. At least you didn’t puke. I thought the time I accidently licked creamed Gerber beef-n-carrots was bad. Ew.

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crankybee • February 7, 2007 at 7:01 pm

My boyfriend Chops used to eat dog kibble – REGULARY. And he was the dux of his high school! So I’m not sure what they put in it, but he has the SMARTS, sista, the SMARTS!

I was making lunch for Chops the other day (lost paper, scissors, rock) and cut the fat off the turkey. I went to put it IN MY MOUTH and only stopped when the dog whimpered – she was standing at my feet, waiting for it herself. I was so shocked I near threw up – I have been a vegetarian for 11 YEARS! LOL!

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sweet_talker • February 8, 2007 at 3:44 am

I thought it was a joke at first…oh lordddd…too funny!

My grampa made a sandwich out of catfood once, thinking it was tuna, in the middle of the night.

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fatkat • February 8, 2007 at 8:38 am

off to go google “dux” now

my vocab needs an update

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Donalda Bint • February 8, 2007 at 5:07 pm

Hey, PQ, first time commenting.

Don’t worry, a friend of mine studied nutrition here in Scotland and one of her tutors worked for a cat/dog food firm and this involved tasting the cat/dog food! Can’t catch anything from it, it is tasted by humans, but just not necessarily so delicious that you’ll run out and buy it.

Used to eat dog biscuits as a child. Winalot, fyi. Didn’t taste that great, but better for your teeth than most biscuits.

You are looking ace, dearie.

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Donalda Bint • February 8, 2007 at 5:10 pm

Hey, PQ, first time commenting.

Don’t worry, a friend of mine studied nutrition here in Scotland and one of her tutors worked for a cat/dog food firm and this involved tasting the cat/dog food! Can’t catch anything from it, it is tasted by humans, but just not necessarily so delicious that you’ll run out and buy it.

Used to eat dog biscuits as a child. Winalot, fyi. Didn’t taste that great, but better for your teeth than most biscuits.

You are looking ace, dearie.

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Jen • February 10, 2007 at 10:47 pm

Haha, I almost peed my pants while reading this entry. Sounds like something I would do. I regularly get a good chuckle from your blog. Keep it up.

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Kari • March 15, 2007 at 4:58 pm

I had to bite my lip at work to keep from laughing here at work! Too funny! I’m so glad I only feed my cat dry food. (He never did seem to like the wet stuff. The only wet stuff he’ll eat is human stuff, preferably tuna.)

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Beverly • July 30, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Ok…late I know, but I’ve been catching up on your archived blogs for about 3.5 weeks, and several have made me laugh out loud, but this one takes the cake (or should I say “can of cat food”) Love reading your blog (and not just the weight loss portion). But that is what got me started. Started my journey 3.5 weeks ago (coincidence…no).

Love your story and your wit. I think Kalyn’s Kitchen was the blog that directed me here.

Hope your headache (yep, skipped ahead a few times) gets better.

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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