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Leaping Lizards

The instructor on my Pilates DVD is not only a trained expert, but a bit of a comedian. Near the end of the routine there comes a part where in one movement she rolls backward on the mat and then rolls forward to leap into a standing pose. This has always been good for a chuckle from me since I’m convinced only rabbit-human hybrids can jump up like that. Ana Caban’s father must have been the Easter bunny. The funniest part is that she acts like this is no big deal, as if this is how we all get out of the bed each morning.

I’m pretty game though, so I’ve attempted to imitate this maneuver several times in the last month, usually just falling back on my ass and giggling. Hopefully my downstairs neighbor thinks I’m engaged in wacky sexual hijinks instead of failed Pilates moves (though the two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive).

Then last night I actually did it.

Granted, it was more like I rolled forward into a squat, paused and then stood up from there, like a gymnast wavering and struggling to barely land a vault. But I did it, poor form and all. The first words out of my mouth were “Holy fuck!”

Then I walked to the hallway to do wall pushups because even though I have discovered my true heritage as daughter of the Trix rabbit, I still can’t do a “real” pushup. As proof of my diligence over the past months, there are now marks on the wall from my oily handprints. I guess I should stop in the kitchen and wash my hands on the way to the wall.

Despite my newfound agility, I’m pretty sure I’m going to gain this week due to my period and because I’ve been eating too much. Actually, I wonder if I’m been eating too much because of my period. Does anyone else get really hungry right around that time of the month?

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27 Comments

Joy • January 26, 2007 at 10:09 am

“Does anyone else get really hungry right aorund that time of the month?”

I believe the word you want is RAVENOUS. Yes. And always for the worst possible things. You are very much not alone there. :)

As for push-ups, they are REALLY hard! But doing wall push-ups will get you there. Then you move to the ‘girl push-ups’ (you know the ones you do on your knees) and then one day you try doing it straight-legged and you find you can do it! (even if it’s just once the first time).

I remember my first push-up and even more amazing to me, my first tricep-dip. It’ll be just as thrilling for you as finding out you can trace your family tree back to Bugs Bunny!

I’m de-lurking because I am compelled to tell you how wonderful you are for keeping this blog. I’m 20 years older than you and have been up and down the weight loss trail since I was 11 (my mother brought me to Weight Watchers). What you have accomplished, and learned, is tremendously inspiring, even to an old-diet hand like me. I want to thank you. I lost 50 lbs 2 years ago (and kept it off) and have 50 more to go but have not been able to make it happen.

SBD is probably the ONLY diet I have not tried. Believe me, if it’s out there, I’ve done it. Although I didn’t want to go back to WW (I’m a lifetime member twice.. hardcore, huh?) I was getting desperate and thought it was going to be my only choice because it did get the first 50 off 2 years ago.

After reading your blog and reading all your archives, I used the info gleaned from you re: SBD and did my own ‘modified’ try at it. I lost 5 lbs in under a week… so I bought the book and found I was basically following Phase 3. I’ve been on Phase 1 for 2 days and have lost 2 lbs by doing it ‘by the book’.

I would never have even looked at SBD if it weren’t for you because I was under the misconception that it was another Atkins-like thing (which was a nightmare for me!)

This plan is a way of eating that makes sense, that is simple and clear and delicious and WORKS!

Thank you so much for all the inspiration, information and laughs! You are a wonderfully insightful and funny writer. Honey you need to turn this blog into a book – it’s got best-seller written all over it!

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Bree • January 26, 2007 at 10:47 am

I do! I bloat like crazy and get hungry and horny. Damn hormones!!! lol

Thanks so much for your journal. I enjoy it so much. I’m still mentally way off as for losing my flab but every little thing helps. You should be so proud of yourself.

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Lise • January 26, 2007 at 10:48 am

Congratulations, Bunny One! Think for a second about what this means, in terms of how your muscle memory and strength and coordiation have all grown for you, and bow to a Standing O. from your readers.

Don’t sweat the push-ups, upper body strength is rough for women generally, and develops really slowly. Especially in big girls, the disparity is huge between lower and upper body strength. (As compensation, god help anyone we kick.)

As to the period/appetite connection, oh good lord yes. Cravings for sweet, salty, crunchy, or just quantity are really very typical. It might help a bit to have something to blame, right?

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ky_expatriate • January 26, 2007 at 10:51 am

Around that time of the month, I crave fat — butter, cheese, peanut butter — like nobody’s business. Fat and salt together is even better. Oh, I bought the Pilates DVD that you recommended. I’ve been wanting to add something new to my exercise routine, and I hate classes; I figured a DVd might be a better, more flexible way to go. Hopefully I’ll like it as much as you have :)

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Marla • January 26, 2007 at 11:26 am

Weirdly, my Hormone Hunger time is 11 days before TOM. It’s like clockwork. And yes, I am: starving, famished, insatiate, rapacious, ravenous and voracious. Mere “hunger” doesn’t begin to describe.

And also yes: fat and salt. Deep-fried salted fat with salt sprinkled on it dipped in butter would be ideal. Did anyone see the deep-fried butter demo on Paula Deen? That woman HAD to be PMSing.

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erica • January 26, 2007 at 11:31 am

I read somewhere (thus it obvs must be true ; ) that your body actually uses slightly more calories during your period, something like ~200 cals a day. I don’t know for sure, but it seems consistent with my experience: I always weigh more during my period, but while I was losing weight at a consistent 1.5-2 lbs a week, I noticed that if I stuck to the same eating patterns (defying the cravings), I lost slightly more than average by the end of the period week, more like 2-2.5. Of course, now that I am down to the last ~15 lbs, the whole thing is a crapshoot.

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Tiff • January 26, 2007 at 11:32 am

mmhmm… always hungry those 5 or so days before that TOM; but I have read before where your metabolism increases at that time so your actually burning more calories too- ahh, kind of makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside doesn’t it?!?!?

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psychsarah • January 26, 2007 at 11:38 am

Wow-you read my mind about the period & hunger connection! It’s fierce! And silly me, somehow I forgot that this always happens, and was driving myself mad all week wondering why I could not seem to stop eating!

Also, big props to you for your slick Pilates moves!

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Kate • January 26, 2007 at 12:14 pm

Way to go on the pilates move! I use the Ana Caban DVDs (on and off – more off lately) as well, and I remember when I first started (with the Beginner Mat Pilates) I was totally psyched the first time I did the Seal correctly. I mean, about to call all my relatives and tell them, take out an add in the newspaper psyched. I imagine if I EVER manage the Teaser I’ll feel the same way! As it is I do a lot of falling over and laughing on that one.

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christie • January 26, 2007 at 1:19 pm

I sometimes get really hungry right before, and lose my appetite during, and sometimes the other way around. Either way, it DEFINITELY affects my eating each month.

Great job being a rabbit-human hybrid!

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lme • January 26, 2007 at 1:42 pm

Woohoo! I have that exact same Pilates dvd and it took me a good six months of regular workouts with it to be able to do that move.

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metamorphose • January 26, 2007 at 1:57 pm

Haha! That’s great! Rock on, bunny style!

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NicoleW • January 26, 2007 at 3:19 pm

“Does anyone else get really hungry right around that time of the month?”

I’d answer you, but my mouth is stuffed full of Baked Cheetos. The week leading up to That Time is the absolute pits for me.

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Patty • January 26, 2007 at 3:19 pm

Way to go on doing the pilates move, sound like a hard one. I’m still trying to master the yoga moves, ha, but it’ll take a long time.

Yeah around TOM time I get real hungry and moody but my wt doesn’t go up much that week but the week before like clockwork. Oh well, it’s just a part of the process as you know.

Have a great week!

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Ashleigh • January 26, 2007 at 3:29 pm

Congrats!

If you don’t want to wash your hands every time you do a pushup, I recommend getting a stability ball, putting that against the wall, and doing your pushups thusly. That way, you’re working your chest AND your core. And avoiding pesky handprints on the wall. :)

Thanks so much for keeping this blog — it’s one of my favorites, both because of your inspiring weight loss and your excellent writing style!

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Tam • January 26, 2007 at 4:06 pm

An incredibly insatiable hunger overcomes me right before that TOM. I swear I can eat my weight in sweets alone!

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Cherie • January 26, 2007 at 6:47 pm

My gyneocologist once told about a study that proved women craved carbs specifically during that time of the month. And supposedly, you burn more calories.

For me, I know my period’s coming when I crave chocolate. Like I can’t resist it’s magnetic pull, but only during that day or two before it starts.

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Katie • January 26, 2007 at 8:04 pm

Way to go on the Pilates move :)

You have been such an inspiration to me! Like Joy who left the first comment above, I’m almost 20 years older than you and I’ve been on every diet known to mankind. I’m working on my 3rd week on the Beach, and I lost 11 1/2 pounds in Phase I. Even my DH who weighs about 400 pounds is happily doing the beach, because he is honestly getting enough food to eat!

Thank you again for so faithfully posting in your blog and for keeping on even when it was hard.

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Haystacks • January 26, 2007 at 9:23 pm

It would not be suprising if you craved red meat like I do. You are losing iron during that period. I also get very hungry around that time

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crankybee • January 27, 2007 at 1:06 am

I will eat anything without a face in the lead up to my period. I once at 4 deep fried potato scallops and then licked the oil and salt out of the bag. But I have to say since I have started eating more low GI foods, the cravings have improved…

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lovelines • January 27, 2007 at 3:52 am

during that time of the month, i eat like i’ve just been rescued from a desert island where my only food for five months was seaweed. and it’s not even very good seaweed either.

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BeforePicture • January 27, 2007 at 4:05 am

That’s funny that you mentioned the insatiable monster before your TOM. I did a little research before and it’s the estrogen! Well . . . . . not EXACTLY.

In the 2 weeks prior to the main event the progesterone in my body increases but if it doesn’t out number the estrogen by a certain ratio like 20:1 then a domino effect happens.

Here we go: The estrogen produces protein globulins that bind to thyroid hormones. The thyroid hormones can’t do their job of helping to convert/use carbs in my system already when they’re bound by the estrogen proteins and then my body thinks it’s carb starved and I get the whole, FEED ME SEYMOUR thing going on (increased appetite) and I want to eat everything in sight. So then the solution is relatively simple: I need to be on my game about really recognizing when that’s happening to me. I’ve found that eating a sugarfree fatfree pudding cup helps.

I also found that increased aldosterone during the build up to the TOM is what causes the fluid retention! So it’s normal to get diahrrea at the beginning of your period because of the release of the excess fluids.

Hope this helps!

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the veggie paparazzo • January 27, 2007 at 2:12 pm

Yes! I get freaking RAVENOUS around the time of my period–for about 1.5-2 weeks a month.

Congratulations on being able to do the Pilates move! That is truly awesome.

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K • January 27, 2007 at 2:27 pm

That is actually how I get out of bed in the morning. Really. Sometimes preceded by lying on my back and waving my feet in the air like an insect trying to turn itself over. (Don’t ask me why…)

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Mymsie • January 27, 2007 at 6:43 pm

Um, hell yes. Completely ravenous, like some wild dog who’s wandered in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, without anything more than a nibble of cactus. It’s so frustrating but happens every time. When I get that feeling, I always know what’s coming.

P.S. You could like, kick ALL our asses. ;)

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Melissa • January 28, 2007 at 2:48 am

Um, yeah – I always get extremely hungry, and it’s always for red meat or sugary foods. I get that I need more iron so I usually indulge my red meat cravings and load up on spinach just to be sure! :D But the sugar cravings drive me nuts!!! I have also heard that you need something like 10% more calories right before that time (~200 calories) – And the funny thing is that right after I get my period, it’s like my hormones make a huge retreat and I am not hungry anymore. It is extremely difficult to deal with when you are trying to lose weight. Just another reason to call it “The Curse”!

By the way, I love your blog (very inspirational and funny as hell) and I think you are totally hysterical – I love your dry, dry sense of humor and I hope that even after you are ‘done’ losing that you continue to write because you definitely have a point of view that I appreciate!

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Josie • February 5, 2007 at 11:44 pm

All I can say is- thank God for this post. Here’s to menopause, although…I guess the hot flashes could be worse. Hmm…worth a discussion!!! ;-)

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

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