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Battle on

Wow, there’s nothing like picture posts and weigh-ins to bring out the lurkers. Thanks for all the kind comments after I finally broke into the 100’s! True, if we had 8 fingers and 8 toes and used a base 8 numbering system, there would be nothing significant about this number. But who cares? We’re not animated cartoon characters with 4 digits on each hand, so it’s time to pah-tay! To answer the questions:

Has anything you’ve done in the past year felt better than that?

Well there was that one time in Vegas when…oh hey there, Mom!

When was the last time you saw THOSE numbers?

I honestly don’t know. I know I weighed about 160 around 7th grade when I wasn’t fully grown and that I weighed 260 near the end of senior year of high school. I don’t have any clothes from those time periods to judge my size and the yearbook photos are just headshots, but I’m guessing I haven’t weighed this much since freshman or sophomore year of high school in the mid-90’s. To put that in perspective, at that time the profession that I currently have, web development, didn’t really exist and I was still using Windows for Workgroups 3.1.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure I must confess something. I totally pigged out on Sunday. Oink, oink! I may as well have dug a mud pit to roll around in under my Pilates mat. I was bored and lonely and there I was – alone…in the house…with all the food! Aaaah! Sounds like the premise for a horror movie to me. Beware what’s lurking in the cupboards, before it leaps down your throat!

I’d already watched TV all morning, couldn’t focus on my books, and I didn’t feel like sewing or crocheting. So I ate a bowl of the special limited edition pumpkin spice Jell-O pudding instead, which was definitely not sugar free or fat free or even free to buy. But it was only available for a limited time! I had to buy it while it was there! It’s like Disney with their damn vault, only releasing movies for a limited time. I’d love to see an MRI of my brain while I eat pumpkin pie or pumpkin pudding because there’s something about that flavor that hits all the right pleasure centers in my brain. Oh, and there was whipped cream too. Lots of whipped cream. And I might have eaten two servings of the feta and spinach chicken and had an extra helping of couscous too. Anyway, it was bad and I certainly went well over any reasonable calorie intake for a day in which I wasn’t running the Iron Man.

My point is, I got over it and went back to my normal eating and exercising routine the next day. Then three days later I broke into the 100’s. Remarkably, eating four serving sizes of pudding did not cause me to instantly regain 170 pounds.

I don’t want anyone to think I’m a perfect little dieter who obeys every single rule in the South Beach diet book like it’s my personal bible. You do not have to have 100% diet compliance to lose weight. I would guess if you sustain 90-95% diet compliance you’ll do just fine. If you expect absolute perfection from yourself, you’re setting yourself up to fail. No one’s perfect. No one wins all the time. The scale does not go down every single week. Thankfully you do not have to be perfect to succeed. You do not have to win every battle to win the war. You might lose the Battle of Basted Turkey and Cranberry Stuffing next week, but don’t let the enemy’s full complement of gravy boats deter you. Keep on fighting! Grrrrrr!

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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16 Comments

Melissa • November 16, 2006 at 12:20 pm

I think that is very important for us to all keep in mind. I’ve been having moments of being really good to days where I just indulge too much, and I still manage to lose weight.

If someone told me I had to eat perfectly for the rest of my life with no indulgences, I’d completely throw in the towel.

You made a good point with your 4 serv size of pumpkin jell-o pudding(which btw sounds absoultely decadent..we don’t have that in Canada)! You don’t gain all that weight from a few instances of indulging, it’s from getting into a habit of doing it on a regular basis.

Mmmmmmmmm pumpkin jell-o pudding! I’ll be thankful that I can’t locate that at my local store. :)

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~angie~ • November 16, 2006 at 1:12 pm

Since I’ve broken out of lurkdom, I’m just going to comment again!

I agree wholeheartedly with your last paragraph. The problem is, I just can’t seem to get certain parts of my brain to understand and cooperate. I know that if I have a “bad day” I can start fresh the next day and move on, but some stupid part of my brain seems to whisper to me, ever so seductively….I think it’s George Clooney…. “You already messed up, why not give in and binge another day, baby? You know you want to…so just do it. You know it will feel so, so, so goooooooooood!”

And it DOESN’T feel good! It feels awful and stupid and horrible. George, or whoever that sexy voice in my head is, LIES to me! And I know he lies, but yet I listen! UGH! I need to print out and frame that paragraph and post it on my fridge and cupboards, lest I forget and give in to the evilness that is Sexy George In My Head!

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Laura • November 16, 2006 at 2:10 pm

Uh oh. You mean there really is a pumpkin spice Jello Pudding?? Yum….

Congrats again.

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Jennifer • November 16, 2006 at 3:31 pm

I just want to tell you what an inspiration you are. I am about 380lbs 5’10” and 26yrs old. I too have been fat most of my life. I am starting a weight loss plan (medifast) and your story is so similar to mine. Your story lets me know that if you can do it so can I. Congats on making it to the 100’s. Thank you for being brave enough to put your story out for everyone to see. I can’t wait to see your goal weight pics!!

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AJ • November 16, 2006 at 4:13 pm

Speaking from Down Under where though we’ve had some freak snow this week (in November!! Damn climate change) I don’t think pumpkin pie is part of my cultural frame of reference. Pumpkin is what you have with potatoes and peas and roast lamb on Sunday… so while I’m sure from your description it must be absolutely delicious it’s hard to comprehend pumpkin as a sweet, not a vegetable.

Right now, it’s mango smoothies that are the bane of my existence. Yummo.

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isabelle • November 16, 2006 at 4:41 pm

Many congratulations from Scotland (I always read you but can’t remember whether I’ve commented before). You must be so pleased. And you write so well – you’re always a pleasure to read.

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Laura • November 16, 2006 at 5:07 pm

Oh, AJ–pumpkin combined with brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, etc. (not to mention a little *cough* heavy cream)is a wonderful, wonderful sweet! And for some of us in the US, the smell of pumpkin pie–well, nothing says “Autumn Wonderland” like the smell of pumpkin pie:-) That and sweet potato casserole.

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ever • November 16, 2006 at 6:53 pm

hmm, i wonder if your high-calorie day triggered the loss?

A lot of weight watchers follow what is known as the Wendie Plan (google if interested) – where you eat a lot one day, very little the next, to “shake up” your metabolism.

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Dee • November 16, 2006 at 7:35 pm

“Thankfully you do not have to be perfect to succeed”

I so so soooo need to remind myself this. I realised that as much as I want to be 100% all the time too, it’s another excuse I use, when I do fail – I notice that I’m like well I didn’t do everything, so today I won’t do anything.

I’m really curious about this pumpkin stuff since anything we have here is more soupy pumpkin thing, I really want to know what pumpkin ‘pie’ taste like.

Congrats again on everything you’ve achieved! and Thanks for showing us you’re not perfect, takes a lot of pressure off myself heh

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AJ • November 16, 2006 at 10:36 pm

You do make pumpkin pie sound scrumptious. I’ll embrace the bizarre weather we’re having and try some of your autumn deliciousness.

Isn’t it funny how easy it is to convince yourself to jump right off the wagon? I hadn’t even contemplated this pumpkin delight yesterday… and now, the slightest promise of a new flavour has me reaching for my recipe book and the double cream. Sigh.

Good thing we know we do not have to be perfect to succeed!

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Patty • November 16, 2006 at 11:19 pm

Pumpkin anything sounds good! I am going to try this pumpkin angel food cake recipe that ww recommends. Hope it isn’t horrid. I also may try to make a light pumpkin cheescake to bring for turkey day. Hope it isn’t too diety tasting but oh well, I will try it. I’m sure the others can have the other fattening desserts that will be there. Yeah, maybe the higher cal. day followed by the lower cal day shaked up your metabolism. I tried that wendie plan and there does seem to be something to it.

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Mary • November 16, 2006 at 11:23 pm

First of all, congratulations. I’ve been watching your progress for several months now and I’m very happy for you. I recently re-joined Weight Watchers and I’m fighting my battle.

If you like Pumpkin and pumpkin spices, have I got a treat for you.

1 package sugar-free fat-free butterscotch pudding

OR

1 package sugar-free fat-free vanilla pudding

(or you could use both which is what I’ve done)

1 cup skim milk per package of pudding (so if you use both packages, use 2 cups, but if one…you get it.)

1 can pumpkin (not pie filling–just pumpkin)

2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

Mix pudding, pumpkin and spices together. Fold in 8 oz. carton of Fat Free (or Sugar Free–whatever suits your needs) Cool Whip.

1 cup servings of this are high in fiber and very filling and I think darned tasty!

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Kala • November 17, 2006 at 10:28 am

Thanks! I need that speech. I think most of us screw up, beat ourselves up, and give up. I’m breaking that cycle.

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Janice Bridge • November 17, 2006 at 11:07 am

Pumpkin pie spice is the key – for our non -US readers – to the pumpkin pie flavor and aroma that speaks autum to most of us.

for one pie (or the above recipe) I would suggest

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon ginger

1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

average pumpkin pie (as purchased baked in the store or at a pie shop) contains 150 calories per slice – a VERY manageable amount. Non fat/or low calorie whipped topping substituted for whipped cream is also manageable – the problem often jumps up when we opt for the “Pie grandma made – with the six eggs, whole cream, and the real whipped cream topping sprinkled with praline pecans!”

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JM • November 17, 2006 at 12:18 pm

Congratulations on getting into the 100s, but I think the real demonstration of your progress is that fact that you consider a couple servings of a not-that-decadent-dessert and one extra helping of a quite healthy-sounding dinner to be “totally pigging out.”

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Samiam • November 17, 2006 at 7:54 pm

I always do the same thing! I have paranoid anxiety that one binge, be it large or small will bring all the weight I’ve lost back! I just recently stumbled upon your site, I have to say when I’ve read some of your post it’s like you’ve read my mind. I’m hoovering at 200.4, down from 315, so I’m almost there as well! Now I’ll take a pic to celebrate the momentous occasion as well! Your pics are awesome by the way, I didn’t do the progress pics for myself, but as I’m also 5’9 your pictures have helped gain some needed perspective, reminding myself I really don’t look the same no matter what my mind tells me we I look in the mirror. Congrats!

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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