October 31, 2006 at 11:57 am
In my continuing effort to prove that you can always find something to bitch about no matter how blessed your life is, there are some things that suck about losing a lot of weight. Beware, the following contains whining that will probably be annoying to anyone currently struggling to lose weight. I’m an ungrateful little snot, I know.
The leading entry in “Things more obvious than the color of the sky” is that I don’t get to eat as much now. Shocking, but true. (By the way, the sky – totally blue.) Between now and when I started, my basal metabolic rate has dropped 745 calories. BMR is the minimum amount of calories a day needed to keep me alive if I were floating in a pod full of mucus hooked into The Matrix. And who’s to say I’m not, really? You can calculate your basal metabolic rate here. That’s a lot of food that I’m no longer eating. That’s a lot of food I probably shouldn’t have been eating in the first place. It’s a 30% drop.
In the past couple weeks I haven’t always been eating my afternoon snack. I hope I didn’t hurt my poor little pear’s feelings when I stuck him back in the refrigerator after a day of toting him around in my lunch bag. Though if I’m going to anthropomorphize fruit I suppose he’d be more like a man on death row, happy for one last day of reprieve before ultimately being devoured. But I miss my afternoon snack! I like eating and I’m starting to miss that fact that I can’t eat as much. Some evenings I’ll be sitting around thinking of fudgsicles or pudding or cream cheese and celery in fridge and wishing I was hungry enough to justify eating it. I never thought I’d be complaining about not being hungry, but I guess I am. (I know, I know, you wish you had my problems, but it’s true!)
Also, I’m getting tired of buying new clothes. Yes, it was a lot of fun at first moving into smaller and smaller sizes, admiring my cute little butt and shrinking waist. But geez, do I have to buy a new winter wardrobe every year? I’m on my third coat in three years. I’d rather save my money for LASIK surgery. At least now that I’m smaller I have better luck finding items that fit at Goodwill where I managed to get four tops for under $20.
It’s also aggravating because whatever I buy has an unknown expiration date built into it. I don’t know how long it’s going to fit, so if I don’t wear it a lot before I shrink out of it I feel wasteful. If my fruit has feelings, my unworn tank tops must despise me. Plus, I just bought some of this stuff five or six months ago and now it doesn’t fit anymore. But I liked that green T-shirt with the gathering at the bust. That corset tank top was rockin’. Anyone know where I can purchase a bargain basement shrink ray? I’ve been able to alter a couple of the tank tops, but most other items are too complicated for me to take in or wouldn’t be worth the price of a tailor. At least I’ve been able to make back some money via ebay.
While I’m still not done with my weight loss, loose skin is becoming more and more of an issue too. When I’m just wearing my sweat pants and sports bra and doing leg pull downs in my Pilates session, there’s a lot of skin dangling down between me and the mat. It droops like a plastic bag half filled with water. It’s at the same time disgusting and completely fascinating. I know I can always get plastic surgery, but EEEEP! Surgery, both expensive and dangerous. And which do I get first, better vision or tighter abs? I don’t know. If I fix my vision I’ll just be able to see my sagging skin all the better. But if I don’t, how will I ever be able to admire my tummy tuck in the shower?
So, even though I am 99% ecstatic and grateful to have lost a gazillion pounds and know that these are the best problems to have where weight is concerned, there’s still always a down side to everything. Though I’m sure the anthropomorphized pears of the world are happy about the drop in genocide (fruitocide?).