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TV or beer?

I keep debating whether to go to the Joseph Arthur concert tonight.

Positive, it’s only $12.

Negative, it’s at a bar and grill venue that I’m unfamiliar with. I don’t know if I’ll like the atmosphere. Aren’t bars smoky? I hate cigarette smoke.

Positive, I could wear a new dress that someone gave me and feel like a pretty, pretty, princess, minus the tiara. Part of the fun of losing weight is to wear pretty clothes in public and not just in the walk-in closet for my cat.

Negative, I would have to skip my planned walking and Pilates for tonight, which might be a “positive” in some people’s minds but would make me feel a tiny smidge guilty. Not to mention I took yesterday off too, so there would be two empty boxes in a row on my wall-calendar-of-guilt, a.k.a. my exercise chart.

Positive, it’s really close to my apartment. I could walk there if it wasn’t dark and rainy and a river was in the direct way. Well, I suppose I could swim, but like I said, I’ve never been there before so I don’t know if the bathrooms have hand dryers to dry me out afterwards.

Negative, I don’t have anyone to go with, so I’ll probably feel awkward. And pathetic. And lonely.

Positive, how am I going to meet anybody if I don’t go out? Duh. Besides, I act all confident in this here blog, maybe I should let that bleed over into my real life.

Negative, but I’m still anxious anyway.

Positive, oh get over it, you coward.

Negative, some drunkard might spill their drink on my new dress.

Positive, if I wring out my clothes in my mouth I’ll get free liquor!

Actually, I don’t know why I’m even debating this here because everyone is just going to tell me to go. Who would tell me “No, PastaQueen, you shouldn’t go out and interact in the community but instead watch all those TV shows you downloaded because you don’t have TiVo or cable. Don’t you want to know if anyone was stabbed with a seam ripper on the Project Runway reunion?” So I guess I’ll go, damn you persuasive people! Why must you push me to do things I don’t want to do but know are for my own good? This is like convincing myself to exercise. I don’t really want to do it, but I know I’ll probably feel good afterwards. You’d think since I’m thinner now I’d be more willing to go show my face in public, but I think introversion is just hardwired into my system.

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12 Comments

Debbi • October 5, 2006 at 12:23 pm

You know this means you have to spill all the gory details tomorrow, don’t you?

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Heather • October 5, 2006 at 1:09 pm

Well, what if you went and didn’t like it? You said you can walk there right? You could leave if you wanted and still get the exercising in right? Proud of you for even thinking about going….I won’t go anywhere public without someone. And most times I still won’t go if someone asked me because I’m so self conscious about myself and my weight.

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Janice Bridge • October 5, 2006 at 1:21 pm

Yes! Do it! And I agree with Debbi – you will definitely have to dish tomorrow!.

$12 is a moderate price. As you walk in, imagine that you are the guest of the second musician from the left (I hope he is the cute one and not the old codger perve they just keep around.) That is your cover story and answer should anyone have the audacity to ask “Are you here alone?”

Because of the river, and the darkness, I am assuming that you will drive, and park under a bright light (the mother in me is always present!) Sip the beer slowly and move with the music. . . If it is smokey (ALL Bars in CA are smoke-free! Hallelujah!!), or too crowded, or crappy music, you can always come on home and dish the dirt early.

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Lisa • October 5, 2006 at 1:30 pm

Go! Because Joseph Arthur is awesome and that is reason enough. And I’m jealous of you being able to go anywhere by yourself. I used to do stuff like that all the time by myself and everyone would ask don’t you feel silly by yourself at a movie? My answer, well no, do you chat and have heated political debates during the movie or do you go to watch the movie? I personally like to watch the movie if I’m going to shell out however much movies cost nowadays…. Now I’m engaged and well, my boyfriend never lets me do stuff alone anymore (he seems to want to tag along) and sometimes I kind of miss it!

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Jay • October 5, 2006 at 1:58 pm

I just started downloading tv shows (don’t have a tivo either)… Doesn’t that free you to keep your own schedule? I mean, go to the party, AND download tonights episode of ‘The Office’ – I know I will be downloading it, which will make me 3 for 3 on this season of that show.

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Monica • October 5, 2006 at 2:39 pm

GO!

If you don’t like it you can leave. It’s only $12 so you can afford that. And I’ve been to a gazillion shows alone, as long as you don’t think about it all the time you’re there (oh my god I’m alone! what will they think? oh my god I’m alone! what will they think? oh my god I’m alone! what will they think? oh my god I’m alone! what will they think?) you’ll be fine. Like I said, you can always leave if you don’t like it.

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Elizabeth • October 5, 2006 at 6:56 pm

I hope you have fun :)

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Matrishka • October 5, 2006 at 7:20 pm

I’m just adding to the the affirmative vote ~~~ plus, you do have that really pretty dress. Nothing will give you more confidence than a new dress!

JUST DO IT !!!!

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Christine • October 5, 2006 at 10:47 pm

Cannot wait to hear all about the concert!! The PR reunion was great! Can’t wait until the finale…who do you think is going to win? I’m betting on Michael… Hope you had fun you pretty, pretty princess! :-) – Christine in AZ

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Karina • October 5, 2006 at 11:16 pm

Ok where can I download tv shows? I am always having to miss Grey’s Anatomy, etc b/c my daughter has softball.

Yeah PR was great. I hope Michael wins too.

I hope you went PQ and had a great time…

Karina

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Jules • October 6, 2006 at 1:34 am

I hope you went! I myself loathe going out by myself, if there’s a social expectation attached to it. I found myself unexpectedly out the other night (a long story – a friend’s place had a gas leak, she couldn’t go…..) and I actually had fun, and spoke to people! Hell didn’t freeze over. I hope it didn’t for you too.

Cheers

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Kirsten • October 8, 2006 at 5:37 pm

Oh, I have hardwired introversion too. Even though I am supposed to be a grownup now, I am much more confident through the medium of my trusty keyboard than actually, y’know, talking to people.

The night I got together with my husband, somebody had spilled red wine on me earlier in the evening. So it doesn’t always ruin your night. (OK, I had changed my top before I ran across him…)

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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