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Weight: 209 – Pounds left to lose: 49

I am hesitant to get too excited about breaking out of the teens since I could always bounce back into them next week. That said – yippee! I suspected my period was just screwing with my weight last week and I think this week’s results prove it. I know. Ew, she’s talking about her period again! Gross! I talk about my period every month, but it does have such a big impact on my weight that I feel like it’s worth mentioning even if it falls into the area of “too much information.”

I’ve been going farther in my walking and even did 5.25 miles round trip to the library. I took a page out of K’s book and read on my way back. I didn’t even know this was possible to do, like my friend who can knit while watching a movie with subtitles, but I’m much more willing to do something weird if someone else has done it first. It was pretty easy since I stayed on the trail for the majority of the trip. I just kept that red line down the middle of the concrete in my peripheral vision and watched out for doggy doo-doo. I did get a little irked when the sun started to set and wanted to yell, “Hey, turn back on the light!”

I surely couldn’t have looked odder than some of the people I’ve seen on that trail, like the woman who was rollerblading while carrying her fluffy white doggy or the woman who wobbles when she runs (either on purpose or because of a physical defect, I don’t know) or the man who had an adult-sized big-wheel. Actually, he just made me miss the big wheel I’d peddle around in as a kid which my mom stuck a big fluorescent orange flag on the back of. I love big wheels!

I’m also happy I lost this week because a week and a half ago I totally binged on bread and muffins. It was a pre-meditated binge too, which made it worse. I sat at work thinking “I’m going to make muffins when I come home and eat far too many of them.” And then I did. Never say I don’t have follow-through. Of course the next day I felt horrible about myself and was throwing a guilt party, inviting over remorse, shame and their little sister self-reproach. But then I had this image of a kid grabbing my hand and smacking my face while saying “Why are you hitting yourself?” I realized beating myself up mentally was just as sensible as smacking myself around physically and I should just get over it already. So I called the cops on that guilt party and got over it. I can’t change the past and I don’t live in the future. I can only control the here and now.

Reflecting on the little binge, I think I was just feeling a little depressed because I’ve lived in my new place for about 2 and half months now, so all the excitement and freshness of moving has worn off and I’m settling into my rut. If I don’t keep myself busy with projects and goals it’s easy to just feel down and want to eat half the contents of my kitchen.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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12 Comments

Greta • September 2, 2006 at 11:04 pm

Oh CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am SO happy for you! Now that I am post-menopausal I no longer have periods messing with my weight, but I remember how very distressing it used to be. Getting through periods requires “looking at the big picture” and that big picture stuff can be really hard to see when you’ve just seen the number on the scale go up.

I AM SOOOOOOOOOO happy for you! I love your photo section. The “rotating body” aspect is SOOOOO great! Can’t wait for the next picture!

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kathryn • September 3, 2006 at 3:02 am

I’ve got a friend who reads while she walks. She does it while driving too, which I think is a bit dangerous. I couldn’t do it – I fall enough without added distractions.

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christie • September 3, 2006 at 11:05 am

Hun I am soooo happy for you. You are doing spectacularly. And you know, sometimes when I hit a plateau I get depressed and binge, and then it makes me lose!?!? I think it’s sort of mixing things up for the metabolism. You’ve been working at this for so long that I think your body is starting to work WITH you instead of AGAINST you – so when you took in all those extra calories your body was like “HELL no, I don’t THINK so!” and burnt them all of and then some. That’s how I think of it anyway, from my experience.

Also, about the period weight gains – I don’t really have a consistent problem with that, but I was thinking that if you do, can you just avoid weighing in on that week so you don’t have to put yourself through the head games? I don’t know if that’s a possibility, but it seems like it would be good for morale :)

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Heather • September 3, 2006 at 12:00 pm

Congrats!

I like your perspective and visual on the guilt party… :)

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lynette • September 3, 2006 at 12:58 pm

oh, those wicked witches guilt, shame, self-reproach (those are my bitches, yours may have been different. i saved them, but then had to copy my url . . . sigh) . . .

YOU ARE DOING SO WELL!!! i am so impressed and inspired by your journey. keep it up!!

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Christine • September 3, 2006 at 4:19 pm

congratulations! That must feel fantastic!!! I can’t wait until I get into the lower numbers…

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K • September 4, 2006 at 4:59 am

Oh dear, I have infected somebody else with my weirdness…

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Mymsie • September 5, 2006 at 11:27 am

Woooots! Congrats to you – inspiring and wonderful! :)

P.S. It won’t render my pretty inline style in a span tag. Hmph!

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Peter • September 6, 2006 at 12:47 am

You haven’t lived until you’ve read while walking home at night, with an LED head lamp.

(Nor have you been stared at. On the other hand, you can’t really see the people who are looking at you funny.)

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Shrinkingmom • September 7, 2006 at 6:14 pm

Congratulations! It won’t be long until you’re in Onderland! :)

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caitlin • September 8, 2006 at 9:05 pm

Good for you! Your blog always makes me laugh… and laughing usually gives me a sense of relief… and when I say relief what I really mean is hope, because it feels great to know there are other people going through similar struggles and triumphs, all the while with a great sense of humor and a good deal of compassion. So again, thank you!

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Linda • August 12, 2008 at 10:24 pm

“I can’t change the past and I don’t live in the future. I can only control the here and now.”

This is the part I got to in your book last nite, and here I am seeing it now, I seriously want to use it as a mantra.

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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The Making of CHOCOLATE & VICODIN
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Half-Marathon: Less fun than it looks
European Vacation

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