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Weight: 215 – Pounds left to lose: 55

215. I like it when I weigh numbers that are multiples of five. They seem cleaner somehow. It’s getting exciting hitting these numbers that I haven’t seen since grunge was popular. Before you know it we’ll hit the era when Paula Abdul was a top ten recording artist!

Another notable milestone of the week: I watched a video of myself and it didn’t make me vomit the chicken and cheese I had for lunch! Amazing! I didn’t even need to throw up in my mouth a little.

At work we’re doing some video production for a project and needed to use a green screen. Only, real green screens cost a lot of money, so instead my boss bought two large strips of retina-burning green fabric which I sewed together with my sewing machine, thus showing off my new mad sewing skillz. Then we had to test the green screen, so call me short and furry because I was the guinea pig. I did some jumping jacks and twirled around like a two-year-old on Coco Puffs and we composited me into one of those PC vs. Mac commercials. It was funny. No, you may not see it.

When I was really, really, fat there were very few things worse than having to watch myself on video. For a speech class my junior year of college we had to critique video tapes of ourselves giving our speeches. I would rather have given a speech in front of the entire college than be forced to watch a tape of myself giving it. When I weighed 372 pounds I really didn’t have a sense of how big I appeared or how I looked when I moved around, so when I saw it in living color I was basically horrified. I’d watch the tape in fast-forward instead, which in itself is rather funny because any nervous speech-giving tendencies you have get exaggerated. If you sway, you appear to wobble back and forth like a bowling pin. If you gesticulate, you look like you’re fighting off ghosts.

But yesterday I watched this video of myself acting like a dork and was not horrified at all. In fact, I was pretty damn satisfied. Sure, I still want to lose another 55 pounds, but damn, I look good! Lately, I’ve been so in love with myself that it is rather disgusting. It just might make me throw up in my mouth a little.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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11 Comments

Country Chicken • July 15, 2006 at 12:24 pm

Congratulations on attaining the 215 milestone. I’m happy for and proud of you! You deserve all the best in life. I wanted to let you know that I check your blog daily to see if there is a new posting. When there is a day without new material, I go through serious withdrawal symptoms. Your insights are an inspiration to me, and I enjoy reading about your life.

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Jeni • July 15, 2006 at 12:58 pm

Great job on the continuing losses! I agree with Country Chicken – I love your blog and check it all the time. You are funny and real and inspiring.

There are times when I definitely still cringe at pictures of myself, but now those times are much fewer and far between. It feels good to know that I won’t mind the record of me that’s left behind.

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Debbi • July 15, 2006 at 2:44 pm

Woo hoo, PQ! For the loss down to a tidy number, and for being able to watch a video of yourself being silly!

My granddaughter filmed her little brother’s birthday party in early January — her ‘gift’ to him. It was also a gift to me, as I looked horrible, horrible, horrible. I had joined eDiets in late December, so it was truly an incentive to soldier on. I’m glad I saw it, but I can’t say I enjoyed it!

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Shannon • July 15, 2006 at 3:01 pm

You are such an inspiration… You have no idea! In late May, a combination of things (finding your site included) led me to go on the South Beach Diet.

I wish I could say I’ve lost as much, as rapidly as you have, but I am at least losing, the first time in my life I’ve not been creeping slowly up the scale toward more inevitable fatness (lol).

I can’t express how much I relate to your blog. We’re the same age, had the same weight goals, and many of your thoughts have been mine. You’ve really done a service with your courage and willingness to share. Just know there are people reading your words, laughing with you, crying with you and drawing strength from this blog.

It’s an amazing contribution!

Congrats and keep doing what you’re doing.

:)

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Greta • July 15, 2006 at 4:10 pm

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Hang in there!

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Peter Audrain • July 15, 2006 at 4:47 pm

That description of how video-taped presentations look on fast-forward is spot-on.

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NicoleW • July 15, 2006 at 6:09 pm

It was funny. No, you may not see it.

Awwww. *sulks*

Congrats on the milestone. I think I mostly managed to avoid appearing in videotapes when I was at my heaviest; still photographs were traumatic enough.

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Mary • July 15, 2006 at 8:08 pm

Congratulations, PQ! I admire your determination, courage and sense of humour. All the best.

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Jenny • July 16, 2006 at 2:37 pm

Congratulations! What an awesome milestone to reach.

I love your site… I’ll be back ;)

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little miss ess • July 17, 2006 at 10:12 am

Hooray!!! You are on fire right now. You’ll be in the 100’s before you know it.

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*Name Hidden* • July 19, 2006 at 8:02 am

Hey, congrats on your weightloss. I just had RNY surgery two weeks ago myself. :)

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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