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Matter of Taste

Yesterday I discovered something more rare than a Puerto Rican yeti. I discovered I know someone who doesn’t like the taste of chocolate. I know! My first reaction was “Wow, that would come in handy. I wish I didn’t like chocolate!” It’s so much easier to resist temptation when there actually isn’t any temptation to resist. People would gasp in amazement at me as I attended birthday parties and never had any chocolate cake, when I was able to resist the contents of entire Christmas stockings, as I took one look at a Hostess Cupcake and said “No, thanks.” I would be like a diet superhero. I’d probably even be thin enough to look good in a spandex costume.

But as I thought about it more, I started to rethink the issue. (WARNING: Do not read the rest of this paragraph if you have not yet eaten lunch. If you disregard this warning, the owner of this blog is not responsible for your vending machine fees.) Would I really want to rid my life of the pleasure of sucking on a fudgsicle? Of slurping out the creamy, center of a chocolate-covered cherry and then chomping on it’s shell? Of popping a Hershey’s kiss on my tongue and letting it dissolve into a muddy puddle of delight?

I think not. It would be like not enjoying sex. Sure, you don’t have to worry about the STDs, but do you really want a life without orgasms? Surely they’ll develop a cure for AIDS eventually. Enjoying food can lead you to overindulge, but getting rid of the pleasure all together would cut out such a great part of life. What’s the point of living if you can’t enjoy life?

So, no thank you. I’m glad I like chocolate. While it has sometimes led me to Christmas Eve Reese’s Pieces binges, I’d rather wrestle with this demon for the rest of my life than obliterate it completely. The wrestling will burn calories, right?

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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16 Comments

Lisa • July 10, 2006 at 3:03 pm

My hubby is one of those freaks of nature that doesn’t like chocolate. He doesn’t like oranges either, which completely obliterates one of my all time favorite candies – orange sticks! He thinks they’re the grossest thing ever, yet he will eat brussels sprouts. He’s a freak I say!

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hopefulloser • July 10, 2006 at 3:17 pm

I’m not a big chocolate or dessert fan. But I’m destroyed by all things salty and fried. I’d live on potato chips and french fries if I could. So it all balances out.

Although lately I’ve been discovering plenty of desserts that I like and finding a new appreciation of things chocolate. So now I’m doubley screwed :-)

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FatMom • July 10, 2006 at 3:18 pm

Just found you! What an amazing loss!! Congratulations! So inspirational! (And funny!) I love it!

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Slem • July 10, 2006 at 4:15 pm

I love chocolate but hate chocolate cake…can pass it up real easy…altho I do kinda like the frosting…just not the cake…so I guess that makes me half a freak??????

my favorite is chocolate covered cherries..I could taste them in my mind when you were describing them…Thanks…

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dg • July 10, 2006 at 4:17 pm

ohhh so true. a life without chocolate is a life half lived!

these chocolate cherries you speak of… i wonder if they’re available in the uk? they sound amazing…

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Coco • July 10, 2006 at 5:27 pm

Former lurker, now exposed! I LOVE your blog; it inspires me.

Now, about today’s topic . . . I know a yopungish woman who, after a bout with some virus (she’s now completely healthy)CAN’T TASTE ANYTHING? Is she thin? Why, yes . . . does she miss it? Nope.

Jus’ sumpin to think about.

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kathryn • July 10, 2006 at 5:36 pm

I worked with a guy who didn’t like chocolate. Every time it was someone’s birthday and we’d buy a cake, someone would say – “we can’t get chocolate because X doesn’t like it”. I’d always reply – “Or X could just miss out!” I mean, no chocolate cake for 3 years, that’s a lot to suffer.

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Marla • July 10, 2006 at 5:38 pm

I don’t understand what you’re saying. I mean, I can understand the words individually, but they just make no sense to me when put together. “…doesn’t like the taste of chocolate.” Nope, I’m pretty sure that’s some sort of gibberish.

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Michelle • July 10, 2006 at 11:14 pm

My ex-mother-in-law preferred caramel or butterscotch. She’d eat chocolate, but never as a first choice… I always thought she was the only one.

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Sara-Ann • July 11, 2006 at 6:47 am

I’ve been reading your blog for months, and just wanted to tell you how inspiring your journey (and account of that journey) are to me. Also – your writing is super-fun and interesting to read, so thank you – you kick ass!

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Debbi • July 11, 2006 at 8:24 am

While I still like chocolate, I will offer my own experience with a declining taste for it. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself preferring fruity desserts, and especially citrus fruit. This wasn’t something I wished for; it’s just happened as I’ve, ahem, aged. I’m now 55; this started several years ago.

I’m one of those no-no dieters who has eliminated an entire food group – sugar [that is a food group, isn’t it?], though, so I only rarely eat sweets. And when I do, I pay for it dearly!

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Jester • July 11, 2006 at 9:35 am

I used to work with a vegan and he would not eat chocolate because it contained milk. (Dark chocolate was OK, I think.) So this wasn’t even about what flavors he liked — it was totally a choice about not taking advantage of animal products.

And while I agree with the philosophy of vegetarians and vegans, there ain’t no way I am voluntarily giving up chocolate!!!

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little miss ess • July 11, 2006 at 10:05 am

My ex-husband and an ex-boyfriend both hated chocolate. Very, very strange.

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PastaQueen • July 11, 2006 at 10:44 am

dg – OMG, you’ve never had chocolate covered cherries?! I would ship you some if I didn’t think the custom officials would steal them and eat them themselves.

Coco – I met a girl at summer camp once who hadn’t had a sense of taste all her life, but then had some sort of operation that restored it. Previously she had eaten foods based on their texture, so it was a bit of a switch for her when some of them didn’t taste that great. She’d also do this weird thing where she would buy Ho-Hos and put them in her closet with a note saying “Don’t Eat!” I later found out she was bulimic. I don’t know if it was related to her new found sense of taste or not.

little miss ess – Well, it’s good they’re your ex’s because there was obviously something very wrong with them.

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amyt • July 11, 2006 at 11:23 am

as we get older (cough) our tastebuds change. literally. chocolate is harder to taste and most people begin to prefer tart sweets like lemon and other citrus. ask the old folks home which desserts go first and it’ll be the fruits, not the chocolate.

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galnoir • July 11, 2006 at 8:04 pm

I swear, if I could give up chocolate and cheese, I could be a skinny, skinny girl.

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog JenFul.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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