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More video game analogies

Major Christian holidays are supposed to be days for celebration, but they are serious tragedies when it comes to sticking to my eating plan. When my mom poured the bag of Smucker Jelly Beans into a glass bowl this Sunday, my ears perked up and I came running into the kitchen just like my cat does when I fill his bowl with kibble. I’m telling you, auditory response is not just limited to the lesser animals. It’s also better if I don’t even mention how many Cadbury Crème eggs I ate. At least I didn’t have any Peeps, which of course had nothing to do with the fact that they were totally sold out of them on the day-after-Easter sale.

However, I figure I get 2 or 3 of these days a year to indulge my inner pig, as long as I eat sensibly the rest of the year. Though I must insist I still get at least one rationalization a week. I really can’t live without my rationalizations.

I also haven’t exercised for three days, which means it’s extra important that I work out today. I think fitness is a lot like the power meter in Mario 3 for Nintendo. No, really! Let me explain this for those of you who don’t remember this game or never saw The Wizard (starring Fred Savage), that thrilling piece of cinematic art that brought product placement to a new level. (Remember the Power Glove?)

In Mario 3, once you get the leaf to turn into a raccoon, you can speed run across the screen to power up your energy meter. Once your meter tops out, you can start madly mashing the B button to fly. However, if you stop running, your meter slowly starts to power back down to empty.

Mario 3's secret food poisoning awareness message - Beware killer mushrooms!

Fitness is the same way. If you exercise regularly, you’ll stay powered up and flexible and have nice abs. But if you stop for too long, your meter starts dropping back down and you lose your abilities. Holidays such as Easter or Christmas are like those damn killer mushrooms that were strolling all over the levels in Mario 3. They cause you to stop and your power meter to drop. Which is why it’s important to just jump on their heads and get back to running around and knocking your head against bricks to make change fall out of them. Okay, maybe not the last part.

Since I’ve been off my game the last couple days, it’s important I get back into the groove before my power meter drops too low and I lose too much of my fitness. I should probably also stop making all these video game analogies, especially since I hardly ever play them. Though I must admit, I can still play Mario 3 and remember the location of every extra life and magic coin box. And to think, I could actually be using those brain cells for something useful.

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16 Comments

Rachel • April 18, 2006 at 2:57 pm

Ok, I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and I have to say you are too freaking cool. After listening to you talk about old school Nintendo and Easter candy (two of my lifelong loves), I just couldn’t stay silent any longer.

I totally botched my Easter weekend (well, week, if I’m honest), too, but happily I’m back on the wagon as of yesterday. I didn’t escape the season without indulging in 4 bags of Brachs jelly beans and 1.5 cupcakes, though. It was worth it.

I looooooove me some Mario 1 and Mario 2, but Mario 3 can kiss my big fat kiester. Mostly because I was never any good at it. I also love Super Mario World for Super Nintendo. **sigh** Those were the days.

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Jennifer • April 18, 2006 at 4:46 pm

Hilarious! This analogy is completely spot on! I was lmao reading it. Especially the part about the mushrooms being like those derailing ‘special occasions’. Exactly! You’re good, you are.

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Nienuh • April 19, 2006 at 1:38 am

Thank you for a flash-back to my youth and the only videogame i was ever good at! Oh no, there was Zelda too! You have a nice analogy for that one too?

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Kirsten • April 19, 2006 at 6:33 am

“Keep your PowerGloves off her, you big gorilla!”

(This may not be an exact quote. Didn’t they all end up at a big concrete dinosaur thing?)

I have a cold. My power meter is completely empty… (Or, since we were a Sega household… I only have 2 rings.)

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little miss ess • April 19, 2006 at 9:04 am

You are so right about the exercise thing. It’s always been the holidays that have screwed me up. Christmas really does a number on me, because usually we are at The Mister’s and his family is all about the food and every day is completely ordered by eating. It gets me off my game. This year, I’m going to plan for it though, because there’s a track and there’s a YMCA, and since no one ever does anything but eat or watch t.v. when we’re there, no reason why I can’t keep myself on some kind of workout routine.

That first week back after letting it go is absolute hell.

Get back out there. And no guilt on the Easter treats!

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adrift across the pond • April 19, 2006 at 11:28 am

I just stumbled on your website. I’m getting married in 4 months and I just found out two weeks ago that I weigh much more than what I see in the mirror. I’ve been dieting and exercising and lost 14 pounds and 7 inches off my waist…but it’s back on. I stopped moving. I had things to do and people to take care of and I stopped. I love your site. Do you mind if I cheer?

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Kelly • April 19, 2006 at 3:04 pm

My whole plan is centered around having one splurge day a month, so please don’t feel bad about 2 or 3 a year! You’re stronger than me, by a long shot. I definitely couldn’t resist the Smuckers jelly beans. Those are the best!

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Kristi • April 19, 2006 at 4:15 pm

Love the analogy!

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Bigg Blue Lue • April 19, 2006 at 9:10 pm

Right. I bought Smuckers jelly beans for my own kids’ Easter baskets this year, so I hear ya….

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Fat Bitch • April 20, 2006 at 11:20 am

Hi Pastaqueen :)

May I say that the analogy was brilliant.

From the bottom of my big, fat heart I wish you all the strength in the world that I know you already possess as you resume your journey.

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chris • April 20, 2006 at 1:45 pm

What a journey you’re having here; I just found your blog today while searching for fat-friendly docs in Indianapolis. I live in Carmel and came to the area about a year ago. Cheers on your progress here.

Do you or any of your fellow bloggers have a good fat-friendly doc, or just a plain good doc here in the Indianapolis area?

Just wondering…

Chris

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SUe • April 20, 2006 at 4:44 pm

Thanks, I have this hilarious mental image of you trotting into the kitchen with your tail and ears perked up!

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MelloMarly • April 20, 2006 at 6:58 pm

I really have to commend you on your weight loss, you’re obviously an incredibly strong, resilient person.

I also have to say thank you, because reading blogs like this help give me motivation to lose my own, albeit small, amount of weight.

Keep losing! You rock ALL of our sox.

Talky talky at llama_rebel@sbcglobal.net

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kim • April 21, 2006 at 3:39 am

I think I am going to hear the Mario music when I work out this a.m. I ate LOTS of M&Ms. They were in a bowl also! Something about and open bowl and loose candies sends me into fits of gluttony.

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Amber • March 5, 2009 at 9:06 pm

Oldie but a goodie. I can’t believe you wrote about The Wizard. You totally rule.

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Kathy • June 4, 2009 at 3:54 pm

I love the Mario Bros. so very much! We still have both our regular and our super nintendo set up and I was playing some super nintendo just last weekend. I too have all the secrets still memorized. I also find it amusing that so many reviews of the newer game systems complain about them breaking when I have a 20 year old system still going strong.

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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