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Holloway exhaustion

Ugh. I thought the Natalie Holloway case had finally dropped off the media’s radar, but no, they have to go arrest somebody and bring the whole thing up again. This case is more overexposed than a Girls Gone Wild video.

There’s a simple reason I hate this story. It’s because I know if I went missing in Aruba, Nancy Grace wouldn’t be sending a search party out for my fat ass. Though I may be white and I may be female, I am not blonde enough or thin enough for the media to care if I got killed on some beach in the Caribbean. I can just imagine the conversation in the news room now:

Reporter 1: Hey, some fat girl went missing in Aruba!

Reporter 2: Oh, that’s too bad. Oh my God, there’s a kitten stuck inside a deli wall! Get a team over there stat!

If Natalie Holloway was packing another 30 pounds, would Greta Van Susteren really have moved her news show to Aruba for several weeks? Doubt it. People go missing every day and I’m sure all parents of the missing suffer just as much as the Holloways have. But unless those children are fortunate enough to look like an Aryan angel, they don’t get the advantage of media exposure to help in the search. So let this be a warning to all the fat people out there, use the buddy system!

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6 Comments

Joie • April 17, 2006 at 9:19 am

Missing people are tragic…any shape, size, color or gender….

But I love your sense of humor!!

You make me laugh almost every day :)

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dg • April 17, 2006 at 10:43 am

oh dear! as homer says, it’s funny because it’s true :)

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Jen • April 17, 2006 at 2:20 pm

Amen sister.

The parents’ anguish is probably pure, but why do I need to keep hearing about it?

Every fall and winter we have 3+ college students go missing in Minnesota after a night of drinking. Every spring we have 3+ corpses float into locks or dams on the Mississippi of college students who ended up in the river those drunk nights. Kids do stupid stuff and get in really messed up situations. Heck, PEOPLE do stupid stuff and get in really messed up situations.

Parents of these kids are on the news nightly looking for their kids. The footprints could be in the snow right up to the hole in the ice and the parents scream that it was homocide, we must find the killer! because their kid would never do anything like that.

Drunk = stupid.

Naive Drunk = Really Stupid.

Young, beautiful, foreign, alone, naive, drunk = GONE

Why are people so surprised?

I think another part of the news coverage is that so many parents these days think that giving their kids such freedom will make their kids like them better and then reality like this slaps them in the face.

No white, rich, America, it is not a good idea to let your kids leave the country to party unsupervised and unexperienced.

Yes, you have to go all the way to Aruba to try and find your daughter, but where were you when she went missing in the first place? If you’re going to parent via the Buddy System, where were you? Who were you looking out for by not being there?

Natalie, rest in peace. Mom & Dad, you too.

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Kirsten • April 18, 2006 at 5:52 am

I have no idea why, but the kitten has crossed my radar. I remember thinking that wasn’t much of a news story.

By the way, I live with my parents as well. And I’m 27. Oh, and married, of course. Now that is truly disorganised.

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Marla • April 18, 2006 at 6:54 am

“The buddy system” LOL!!

What I remember about the kitten story is hearing just the tail end (“tail” end! har!) of the story before, that they were just finishing up. It went something like “…the five-year-old and seven-year-old have been missing since Thursday. And in more cheerful news [smiley faces], a kitten has been rescued from a wall!”

Dear god, can you imagine being the parents of whoever those missing children were, and hearing the story dismissed like that to tell about an animal — not your CHILDREN — being rescued? I mean, I love cats, but come on…

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Abby • April 18, 2006 at 7:18 pm

My friend keeps reminding me…..

fat kids are harder to kidnap! :)

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog JenFul.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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