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Lay an Egg

The Easter holiday season is far and away the best holiday candy season. Peeps! White chocolate bunnies! Jelly beans! And my most favoritist, holiday candy ever – the Cadbury Crème Egg. Mmmm. If Jesus died for our sins, he should be glad these things hadn’t been invented yet because eating one must be worth at least ten “Hail Marys” in confessional.

Of course, now I am all reformed and good and a healthy eating role model for all you lovely readers, so I don’t binge on these things anymore like I did in previous years. Last year I just had a four pack on Easter day as well as two boxes of Peeps during the week and that was that. As opposed to previous years when I was responsible for the genocide of dozens of unborn chocolate chickens.

The other day I had a craving for the Crème egg, so I checked the Cadbury website and discovered that it’s only 170 calories. Okay, not exactly low, but I can fit that into my diet for a day. So I decided I would buy just one Cadbury Crème egg when I went to the grocery last Saturday. Only, BZZZT, wrong, Meijer doesn’t sell these things by the egg, just in four packs.

I briefly considered buying the four pack and having someone hide the rest from me, but decided that wouldn’t work. I would still know that they were in the house somewhere. Eventually I’d be jonesing for them so badly that I’d be ripping open down pillows and unscrewing light sockets looking for those missing three eggs. So, I left them on the shelf because pillows are much more expensive than you would think.

Two days later I was at Target and thought “Aha! Maybe they’ll sell me one perfect crème egg.” To my absolute shock and amazement, Target had not yet put out their Easter candy. I really thought I’d see a Yeti shopping for maxi pads before I’d see a store who hadn’t put out their Easter candy the day after Valentine’s day. I really should report them to headquarters. Is there a national Peeps shortage that I don’t know about? Surely fear of the bird flu hasn’t gotten that bad?

So, I still haven’t eaten my damn Cadbury Crème egg. Between this and the fact that they’ve actually removed the broken candy machine from my office floor and failed to replace it with anything, I think the universe is actually conspiring to keep me on my diet. What is with you, universe? Aren’t you supposed to be conspiring against me?

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14 Comments

kathrynoh • March 3, 2006 at 3:25 pm

You are kidding me, no easter eggs… yep, that is seriously wrong.

The other day, I ducked into the supermarket on my way to a friend’s place and I got a little easter egg but the checkout girl must have left it in my basket and I missed out. Damn it.

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Anne • March 3, 2006 at 3:25 pm

Whatever you do, don’t go to Costco. You can buy the devil eggs by the case!

Wow a store that doesn’t have their chocolate out yet? Unheard of.

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Milana • March 3, 2006 at 3:28 pm

LOL i so know what you mean. I already cheated a bit today because i had the frosting off a cupcake and some white chocolate. I know I’m horrible…

But i really wanted a bagel so i was going to stop by the bagel store (and just get ONE not two like i used to at some pt…scary) but it was CLOSED! I was like, oh yay!And now I’m off to workout :)

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jus me... • March 3, 2006 at 5:22 pm

Boy, you all sound like me…I didn’t go to bed the other day until 4:00am and was on my way to work at 10:30! You know I needed something, and since Starbucks is on my way…

Do you know that they do not have sugar free chocolate for my latte? I didn’t til then…I did get sugar free vanilla in it, but I asked for one of their great chocolate cream cheese muffins. Haven’t had one since December. They don’t have them anymore. So I guess I had to be good. Just some chocolate syrup and a triple shot of coffee! I managed to wake up tho!

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JM • March 3, 2006 at 10:29 pm

The Meijer by me sells single Cadbury eggs in a little impulse-buy bin. Maybe you should move to Champaign? Somehow I haven’t bought any yet, but that won’t last long.

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Liz • March 4, 2006 at 1:00 pm

I’ve seen the cadbury eggs sold as MINI’s! Little tiny ones that come in a pack! I’ve seen them at various stores so I am sure you can find em at a store near you! :) So you can indulge but not really mess things up.

I actually found how to make the cadbury eggs at home. Haven’t tried it yet though. :)

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Pickle • March 4, 2006 at 3:49 pm

Ay yi yi…Cadbury Creme eggs, bane of my Easter-season existence. Many a Lenten promise broken by their sugary lure. I’ve tried the minis, but if you’re a filling-junkie, you may not find them as satisfying (and then find yourself eating the whole thing).

That said, awesome job in passing up the four-pack. The decision to buy or not buy is often my mental point-of-no-return, so good on you for knowing yourself well enough not to buy it.

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Lulu • March 4, 2006 at 6:14 pm

Oh, the ones that always get to me are the Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs. All that gooey cheap peanut butter calls me, even though I love the organic stuff I’ve got in my fridge.

Go you for passing up four packs! The more often you do it, the easier it gets. (I keep telling myself that, anyway!)

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Tom Stormcrowe • March 4, 2006 at 7:52 pm

Hello, just dropped in to see how you are doing! Looks good, keep up the progress! I’ve dropped 325 pounds so far now and am at 256 pounds! Woohoo!

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Liz • March 5, 2006 at 1:48 pm

Okay, I looked for the mini eggs last night so I could tell you their content: a serving is 3 eggs at 150 calories and 6 grams of fat. I bought a pack myself and ate just one for only 50 calories. I thought it was pretty satisfying! :)

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Kirsten • March 6, 2006 at 3:41 am

The minis are not as nice as the big version. Sorry. They’re just not as creme-y. Though I wouldn’t pass one up if you offered me one…

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Dawn • March 6, 2006 at 11:16 am

The Creme eggs are my absolute favorite candy!!! 4 points for me and worth every bite. I will do an hour on the elliptical to earn points for them…. LOL.

I would check 7-11 or another convenience store for the single egg. I personally seem to see them everywhere. They are haunting me, teasing me, tempting me…. LOL

Dawn

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Laura Bora • March 7, 2006 at 7:58 am

I was JUST talking about Cadbury Creme eggs with my sister and sister-in-law this weekend — we ALL love them in a sick almost sexual way. Right around Valentine’s day (a day whose candy does nothing for me) I get all excited because I know that between the Creme Egg and the Russell Stover’s Truffle Egg I am in candy PARADISE.

The Truffle Egg has 3 points and I’ve made a point that if I’m indulging I am going to SAVOR it.

I could not survive knowing there was a four pack of Cadbury Creme Eggs in my house. I too would rip up floorboards looking for them in a frenzy.

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Andrea • March 9, 2006 at 1:17 pm

my downfall is the lilttle plastic netted bag filled with brightly wrapped little chocolate eggs- I call them footballs cause thats what they remind me of. Its way to damn easy to pop like 4 of them into your moouth and tell yourself it only equals like- one small square of chocolate. And as for keeping them in the house- I feel like they stare me down until I have eaten them all and the only evidence is their little wrappers all over the floor

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

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