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Vending Machine

The vending machine at work is broken. I have mixed feelings about this technical malfunction. On one hand, it stopped me from buying that 3 Musketeers bar I wanted this afternoon. On the other hand, I really wanted that 3 Musketeers bar. And if I had another hand it would be holding a baseball bat and smashing in the glass on that vending machine. Good thing I didn’t grow up next to a nuclear power plant, eh? Three arms would be very handy (heh), but where would I buy my clothes? Honestly, I don’t get food cravings that much anymore, but we all have moments of weakness and low-blood-sugar-induced vandalism sprees, right? Anyone remember if the Twinkie defense actually worked?

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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6 Comments

Lainey • January 27, 2006 at 10:06 am

Just think, if you had three arms, how much and how quickly would you be able to eat? Mental imagery overload!

Loving your work. Lainey x

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Miz Robyn • January 27, 2006 at 11:31 am

If you had a third arm, you’d just tuck it under your shirt so that when you took it out (to smash the vending machine, for instance), people would be all amazed and wouldn’t even notice the vending-machine smashing.

Or I suppose you could get a tailor to make you a special third sleeve on all your shirts? :)

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Andrea • January 27, 2006 at 1:18 pm

moments of weakness are my worst quality. I think I started out the day by eating one of those pop and fresh cinnamon bun thingies. Oh well. I know I am headed to the gym in a bit. Sometimes I take technical glitches as a sign from above. Keeping me from destroying myself- one reeces pieces at a time!!

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Hilly • January 27, 2006 at 1:30 pm

Twinkie defense totally works ;)

It’s one of those blessings in disguise but I hate that feeling of low blood sugar too…ick!

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kathryn • January 27, 2006 at 7:41 pm

Just think how much that third arm would weigh!

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Ann-Charlotte • January 29, 2006 at 2:49 am

We have a vending machine in the basement at work and the guy who stocks it doesn’t fill it with particularly yummy stuff really so I’m not too tempted. Thank goodness. He better keep up the poor choice of sweets! :D The machine also sells sodas, and it’s always a gamble to see if the not-so-bright refiller guy has actually put Diet Coke in the slot that says Diet Coke. I guess he’s learned his lesson now after several outraged complaints from me! ;)

I think you’ll do just fine without that extra arm, and without that 3 Musketeers bar. ;)

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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