November 30, 2005 at 10:07 am
I’m beginning to wonder if my oldest friend is avoiding me because of my weight loss.
Pigtails and I met back in 2nd grade and somehow have managed to stay in touch over the past umpteen years. She currently lives about 3 hours away from me, but she’s never been great with e-mailing or that old thing we used to do with envelopes and paper and pens. What was it called? Letter writing?
My point being, it’s not uncommon for us to go months without hearing from each other or seeing each other, but it’s starting to get pushed to an extreme here. I last saw her in January, right before I started losing weight, and she hasn’t seen me since. There’s been one or two phone calls since then, an e-mail or two, and recently a postcard from her Disney cruise. But that’s it.
The first 10 months or so I just cracked this up to Pigtails being her regular busy, communication-challenged self. She works a full-time job, goes to school part-time and is married. I’m rather amazed she hasn’t had a psychotic break by now. Hey, maybe she has! She hasn’t called because she locked up in a padded cell mumbling about credit hours.
Now I’m starting to get the creeping suspicion the weight thing might have something to do with it. Pigtails is a large woman too and I don’t know how my weight loss has made her feel. I think she is genuinely happy for me, but I also wonder if on some level I’ve made her feel bad about herself or guilty or some other feeling that would cause her to avoid me. I’ve heard of people losing friends right along with a lot of weight and I really hope that isn’t happening here. However if the situation were reversed, I’d probably feel jealous of her for doing something I couldn’t. Hopefully it wouldn’t be my dominant feeling though.
I just want to go hang out with her on the weekend, but I can never get in touch. She works a night shift, so I only ever get her voice mail. The longer this goes on the more the shock value is going to increase when we eventually do see each other again. It could very well get to the point where she could walk past me without recognizing me.
Hopefully I am just being paranoid and Pigtails is just being Pigtails. Or maybe there is something else going on with her that’s causing this continental drift in our relationship. You never really know what’s going on in people’s lives. If I have a motto in life it’s “People will always surprise you.” Sometimes in good ways, sometimes in bad ways, but I never doubt someone’s ability to shock the hell out of me.