I've moved to JennetteFulda.com

Weight: 273 – Pounds left to lose: 113

Holy denim, Batman! I can wear jeans again! Fuckity fuck fuck. I haven’t worn jeans for so long that I can’t even remember the last time I wore jeans. I think it was around about junior or sophomore of high school, which would be 8 or 9 years ago.

I’ve been able to fit into size 28 slacks from Lane Bryant for a couple months now, but that’s because they’re a polyester/spandex blend from some mad scientist’s laboratory. A fat mad scientist, perhaps? They stretch a bit. Denim – not very stretchy. So I haven’t been able to fit into an old pair of size 28 jeans I excavated from my closet – until today.

I don’t really like the jeans I have though. They’re a light blue color and Trinny and Susannah of What Not to Wear say that’s something not to wear. The lighter colors will make your bottom look bigger. So I’m off to Lane Bryant today to take advantage of their jeans sale, risking running into the pervy flasher who has been stalking our mall. Maybe I will go completely mad and buy some of their terribly overpriced, trying-too-hard-to-be-hip, Seven7 jeans – just because I can, beeyatch.

I can see Al Roker sort of became an asshole after he lost all that weight. It’s very self-empowering. After losing almost 100 pounds, I feel like I can take on the whole world! I’ve also become amazingly vain. I cannot walk past a mirror without stopping to check myself out. It’s funny, because the last time I weighed 270 pounds I was despondent over the fact. But now I’m ecstatic over it. It all depends on your sense of perspective.

I also got my new scale and it seems to be measuring me a bit different than my old one. Why? Who knows. Perhaps the old one isn’t as accurate due to all the weighing it has done, especially when I was 372 lbs. There was only a discrepancy of .8 pounds, so it’s not a huge gap. The old one says I weight less though, so it’s my fave :) Maybe it’s just sucking up to me so I don’t get rid off it in favor of my new one. I admire a survival instinct.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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3 Comments

mac • March 26, 2007 at 7:01 pm

Scales are funny. Funny peculiar, not funny ha-ha. My own, for example, (did I post about this before? I think I’m obsessing) show my weight as 5-6 pounds lighter than any other scale I’ve weighed myself on, including the Tanita at my gym. *grrrrr*

I agree I like my own scale best – it shows I reached my target weight and have stayed there! Yay!

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Beth • December 5, 2009 at 11:04 pm

I’ve been reading your blog for a while, and just decided to read some of your old entries this evening, and I have to say…

“F#ckity F#ck F#ck” had me laughing out loud.

HA HA. Love it.

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swinglifeaway • June 3, 2011 at 3:28 pm

My scale drives me nuts! I can’t seem to get it to say the same weight twice. Like, it said 304.4 this morning and then suddenly said 298.4! I’m like, wtf. Yay for 298, but I know it’s deceiving me. Blah.

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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The Making of CHOCOLATE & VICODIN
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