A Matter of Scale

My reckoning arrived today in a big, brown cardboard box.

I speak of the scale I ordered this week. Mother set the box on the ottoman, so I was faced with its mass suddenly as I turned on the living room light. With scissors and torque I removed it from it’s packaging. The 4 AA batteries it required were not included (cheap, Tanita. cheap). But a quick Miejer run fixed that problem.

I stepped on expecting the worst, fully prepared to see 400+ pounds spelled out in the LCD. But to my joy I currently only weight 368.8 pounds. Yay! Okay, it’s not something most people would be proud of, but it’s all a matter of context. I almost feel like I just lost 30 pounds by stepping on the thing.

So now my new life officially begins. Now that we can observe and record, now that there is hard evidence of my success or failure, now the struggle truly begins. Digits, you’re going down.

Later:
Earlier:
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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a twenty-something smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). Contact her.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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