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Goodbye to Soda

Dear Soda,

I’ve decided it’s time I ended this abusive relationship. You go by many names – Soda, Pop, Coke – but no matter what you call yourself, you’re no good for me. Oh, sure we had some good times. I loved your sweet flavor on my taste buds, the cold chill of you running down my throat, and the alert buzz of your caffeine. You’re bubbly fizz has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

But I see now your flaws outweigh any positive traits you may have. You’ve made me fat. You make my saliva slightly more acidic. You’ve made my teeth holier than Mother Theresa. Plus, you never haul your own weight. I have to lug you in heavy bottles and boxes of cans into my grocery cart, onto the conveyor belt, back into the grocery cart, into my trunk, and then into the house.

I’m with Water now. It’s free and good for my skin. I will always love you soda, but I can no longer be Dr. Pepper’s bitch.

Sincerely,

PastaQueen

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3 Comments

Chris • May 7, 2006 at 9:39 pm

This made me smile, because this was my first shot across the bow in my battle to lose weight.

30 days soda-free so far.

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mac • March 25, 2007 at 11:03 pm

I’m so glad to read this post! I didn’t want to do my usual bossy-giving-advice number that is so off-putting, but I know ALL soda is bad for us – whether diet or regular!

When my husband was trying to quit smoking, he changed from regular cigs to filters. Then I read an article saying the filtered cigs were worse than the regular ones for several reasons.

It’s the same with diet soda. Fake sweetness is really bad for you. But, you know that now! Yay!

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Karima • December 22, 2009 at 4:28 pm

I LOVE THIS 1! :D :D

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog JenFul.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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